Are you a poet? Do you know it? (Ouch.) Well, Poets Eleven, a citywide poetry contest showcasing prose created by residents of each of San Francisco's 11 districts, above, is now accepting submissions. You work will be scrutinized by San Francisco Poet Laureate Jack Hirschman, so snap on your thinking and creativity caps, kids. Local poets are asked to submit up to three works for review. Mr. Hirschman, we're told, is interested in pieces......

Got your calendar ready? We heard you when you told us to give more notice about fun events like the International Chocolate Salon at Fort Mason. Knowing that, along with the fact that Single Awareness/Valentine's Day beckons soon, we have a stellar line up of tasty chocolate events to get you in the mood. You know, it's totally okay to buy sweets for yourself -- we do it all the time. Think of it......

After yesterday's fog-induced Cosco Busan/Bay Bridge crash -- resulting in 58,000 gallons of fuel and 8,000 gallons of "heavy-duty bunker fuel oil" spilling into the Bay -- Baker Beach, Crissy Field, China Beach, Kirby Cove, and Fort Point beaches (or "beaches" to some of you purists out there) have been closed. Large blobby slicks as big as 50 yards long and 20 yards wide have been spotted off Tiburon and near Mill Valley's Bayfront......

Oktoberfest photos...

-- Lavay Smith and Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers: Not only does this "Basie-esque" outfit perform lush jazz and blues tunes, but the chanteuse is pretty funny in between songs. Check them out tonight at 7 p.m. at the Top of the Mark, InterContinental Mark Hopkins Hotel, One Nob Hill, (999 California); $10. -- Joan Rivers Theatre Project: Though you're sure to hear even more about her pendulous, sagging breasts, her new project is......

With a crafty event happening every day this weekend there's no reason to stay inside, so take your pick or hit up all three of these excellent events. The American Craft Council presents its annual exhibition & sale of contemporary crafts, the largest juried craft show in the West. More than 250 artists show unique designs in home décor, furniture, fashion, jewelry & more. American Craft Show Fort Mason Center Bldg A 8/10-12 Fri&Sat......

If you are concerned about people growing old around you, just keep looking for fresh faces to hang out with. We got this bit of wisdom not from Gavin Newsom (who got it from Willie anyway), but from James Schwabacher. One of Schwabacher’s initiatives was to co-found the SF Opera Merola program, now in its 50th anniversary, a training program-slash-talent-search for opera singers that lasts all summer. Schwabacher sadly passed away in the middle of......

Looking to do some crafty shopping or have something you've been making that you want to share with the world? Here are a few ways to get your fix. Modern Times, one of our favorite independent bookstores in the city, will be hosting their first ever craft fair in August and there's still time to register to sell your crafty goods. For up to the minute registration forms and info check out their myspace page. When: August 11th Noon-8pm Registration deadline: August 1st We've already told you how much we love the SF Craft Mafia, meet them for yourself and do some crafting with them on August 12th at Stitch Lounge. The event will feature DIY activities, including jewelry making, clothing customization, and cupcake makeovers. ...

If you like learning about and consuming chi-chi/artisan/premium/hand-made chocolate in all its forms, there's lots to love at the Chocolate Salon, taking place today and tomorrow in Building A at Fort Mason. Tickets are $10 for kids and $20 for bigger kids (adults) but samples are plentiful. We appreciated the one hour of free parking, outgoing and friendly nature of the chocolate makers, and guaranteed exposure to exotic flavor combinations, wine and beverage tastings.......

-- Bambi Lake-inspired cabaret duo Kiki and Herb perform at ACT. (Also, did you know that they met at Café Flore in the Castro before they became totally famous? It's true.) Show starts at 8 p.m. at American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary; $20-$60. -- Marke B judges a damp jockstrap contest come midnight at ‘70s/‘80s retro dance club “The Rod.” Damn perverts. All of them. Goes from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at Deco......

Sounds like a cosmo-swillin' kind of event: entertaining local female writers like Beth Lisick and Kim Wong Keltner (among others) are reading from a collection of essays entitled The Bigger The Better The Tighter The Sweater, about the hilarity of body image issues. Also: gift baskets and free eyebrow waxing! The event's sponsored by Green Apple, so the reading's at the Rockit Room, one block down the street (406 Clement, x 6th). 7 p.m., free.......

Because some of us need a warm-up of sorts for July 4, "Pinot Days," a celebration of wine made from that particular varietal, is coming to Fort Mason June 29-July 1. More than 150 winemakers will be there, with more than 400 pinots will be available for tasting, along with food....

--It's June 16, which means it's Bloomsday! Commemorate the day made famous in James Joyce's Ulysses with readings from the book, music, and a special Bloomsday feast at the Mechanics' Institute. 57 Post Street (x Market), $15, saloon opens 6:30, readings begin at 7:30. --LAist Zach is coming to town as part of the CalArtsf alumni art festival: dance, spoken word, world music, animation, paintings, and lots more artistic expression at Cowell Theater and the......

Don't forget it's still Carnaval! But you can check out the following events today too. --Free opera in Dolores Park! 2 p.m., with a number of singers singing various operatic greatest hits. (YouTube clip from last year's performance, we think.) --The youth dancers of the City Ballet School perform "Carnival of the Animals" at the Cowell Theater at Fort Mason, at 2 p.m. $23.50. --A night of free Asian-American comedy at the GlasKat. 7......

The acclaimed French-trained Guinean contemporary circus troupe Circus Baobab makes its US debut as part of the SF Int'l Arts Festival, performing The Jumping Drum, a fable about globalization and family, complete with acrobatics, stilt-walking, and African music. 5:30 p.m., $30, Project Artaud Theater (450 Alabama, x Mariposa). They're here through Sunday, and you may find it intriguing to learn that tomorrow's performance is in French. That's them on the YouTube above. Other events:......

One of our spies spotted model Gemma Ward hopping into a downtown Walgreens yesterday. Gemma was in SF for Fashion Week Live last night at Fort Mason. Their description of Gemma was priceless: "She looked like a homeless person. She's really skinny, and she was wearing a stocking cap in 70 degree weather." ...

The annual SFist Holiday Gift Guide returns today with five passes to the Celebration of Craftswomen this weekend at the Herbst Pavilion at Fort Mason Center. The show is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and features a changing roster of more than 150 different artists each weekend and benefits The Women's Building....

At the Roxie, (3117 16th St. between Valencia & Guerrero) it's FARMCORE, a documentary about punk rock's 1980s home in the Mission, The Farm. The screening is a benefit for San Francisco Indybay Media and Oaxaca Indymedia. The film documents the punk scene (Dead Kennedys, Bad Brains, and Black Flag played there, to name a few) and the staff’s struggles to keep the doors open while battling a greedy landlord and hostile police, until the......

Maybe it's just us, but when we start hearing big numbers (for example, the national debt, the number of people who died during the influenza pandemic of 1918, or our student loan debt), our eyes glaze over. So, when we hear statistics like "400 volunteers, 7,000 boxes of books, 300 tables and 200,000 books in over 50 categories", we might ordinarily have to reach for the NoDoz, but, wait: we're hearing these numbers from some......

The good news is that the first battle in the legal fight against the NSA's wiretapping program has been won by everyone who doesn't work for the NSA. The bad news is that internet-enabled vigilante mobs could be the next big fad here in the States. Eh, we're too busy applying a new Dasani-branded profile treatment to our MySpace profile and checking out some of the videos. Damnit, we were totally going to lead off......

Saturday: We're hitting the Pandora's Trunk art and fashion event. Come by 916 Natoma (at 10th Street) between 1-7 p.m. for "handmade fashion goods, art, homemade truffles, and a deluxe spa and massage corner." See the entire lineup of vendors for this free event here. Sunday: If you're still feeling artsy, there's the San Francisco Fine Craft Show, where you can browse "hand-crafted jewelry, clothing and accessories, baskets, quilts, and sculptural and functional objects in......

We were the only one spitting out at the Wines of Spain tasting, organized by Greens' wine director Chaylee Priete. Not that they weren't any good, but it was only 6:30 p.m., and we hadn't had dinner. If you are looking for a nice sophisticated buzz, as were our tasting companions, the $45 fee (we were comped) would have gotten you six glasses of different Spanish varietals, with refills should you taste one without moderation.......

The second show of the Merola program, Il Matrimonio Segreto, opened last night at the Cowell Theater in Fort Mason. Just to recap: the Merola program was funded in 1957 by Kurt Adler and James Schwabacher to offer a training program to young singers, with real staged performances, and a Gala in the War Memorial Opera House as a conclusion. We actually were a bit surprised that Schwabacher was not eulogized at this first Merola......

We sort of knew this was going to happen, but here it is: after officially jumping on the Sharks bandwagon last week, they have now lost three in a row to the Edmonton Oilers, a losing streak that started after the Sharks lost an epic, three OT Game 3. We would take some responsibility for causing the Bad Mojo, but after last night's game, Sharks fans only have themselves to blame for any sort of Bad Mojo, something that will happen when fans of a team boo another country's national anthem. ...

Can you smell what Wednesday is cooking? Tonight: Tax breaks! The California Lawyers for the Arts are holding a workshop on how to incorporate as a nonprofit. Give your mom a tax break for supporting your career in theater all these years! The workshop goes from 7-8:30 at their offices in Fort Mason, Building C, Room 255. Thursday: As part of the Contemporary Jewish Museum's new show, Intersections: Reading the Space, they're hosting a three-part salon. Part one of the salon is tonight at the Jewish Community Center, and features a cooking class on making Muslim, Christian, and Jewish foods of India. That's $50 worth of yum ($45 if you're a museum or JCCSF member) -- so if you're looking for something on the other end of the money scale, you could also stop by a free shuttle bus historical tour of the Presidio at 12:50 (meet at the Presidio's Officers Club, reservation required at 415-561-4323.) and Friday: Our very favorite living ex-president, Nobel laureate Jimmy Carter, will be appearing and signing copies of his new book at 5:30 at Cody's SF! President Carter will not be speaking or reading, mysteriously enough, but will pose for pictures (in a separate area) if you ask nicely. Tickets are required, but there's no fee if you buy a copy of the book at Cody's. Don't attack him, killer rabbits! ...

SFist is more Kraftwerk than Craftsworker. At our mid-century ranch headquarters, there's a rather large cupboard with various scraps of fabric and yarn, paint and glue and all manner of funky specialty tools. This is the area known as the Island of Dead Crafts. Every so often we remember the pride we had making that macaroni owl at summer camp and decide that our lives would be much more fulfilling if we could make......

Last night we took a long bus ride out to Fort Mason to check out the final rounds of the Robot Fighting League's Combots National Championship. SFist Chuck reminded us to make it out, and SFist Emily had so much fun last year, we decided it was a must-cover event. Besides, they had nachos and Pabst Blue Ribbon on hand. Our first reaction was that we hadn't seen so many kids in one place......

Looking back on 2005, we think the year could be described as "The Year The Earth Fought Back". Starting out with late 2004's tsunami, through the summer of hurricanes - culminating in Katrina - and then the south asia earthquake... well, we don't want to jinx the rest of the year but we hope there isn't anything left for her to throw at us. While we sit around waiting, let's not forget that there......

ComBots are coming to Fort Mason next weekend, so you can all knock yourselves out watching robots with sawblades and blowtorches cutting each other up and setting each other on fire. We've already made our opinion clear on the topic of forcing robots to do battle against each other, but what the hell. The kids dig it, and it's easier than waiting for a Survival Research Labs show or the next Burning Man. Besides,......

We usually run the blotter crime roundup on Tuesdays and Fridays, but we're sorry to say that there's been enough breaking news in the area that we're running a special edition today. Everyone's still in shock over Lashaun Harris, the schizophrenic mother who dropped her three children into the 50-degree waters of the San Francisco bay yesterday afternoon. Horrified witnesses reported seeing Harris strip the three boys naked and drop them one by one off the pier. As Harris wandered up and down the pier with her stroller, the police and fire departments (and Gavin Newsom) raced to the scene and began a frantic search. At 10:30 p.m., they located the body of 2 (or 3-, reports vary)-year-old Tavante Harris, which had drifted around the city to Fort Mason, but the bodies of 6-year-old Tayshaun and 1-year-old Joshua are still missing. Harris had apparently stopped taking her psychiatric medication, and told the authorities that voices in her head told her to do it. And in Lafayette, the Contra Costa police have arrested a suspect in the murder of attorney Daniel Horowitz's wife, Pamela Vitale. Police say that 16-year-old Scott Dyleski, for whose family Horowitz had provided pro bono legal services, had broken into the trailer in which Vitale was staying as part of his fundraising efforts for a pot-growing business. They believe Dyleski was surprised by Vitale, struck her 39 times with a piece of crown molding, and then carved a gothic symbol in her back. Dyleski, who had gotten his GED and was studying art at Diablo Valley College, is expected to be tried as an adult. Picture of Harris's stroller on Pier 7 from KGO...