As promised, following their conditional use approval, SoulCycle is all set to move in to the former Diesel Store/Bank of America at the prominent corner of Castro and Market Streets. As Hoodline reports, remodeling is underway for the spinning gym — which was recently parodied with the help of Nick Kroll on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt — with plans to open by early summer.

The space is going to accommodate a single, 50-bike spinning studio, along with locker rooms and a merch area, and it looks like all those tall windows are going to have to be heavily shaded to achieve to SoulCycle's dim, candlelit aesthetic.

This will be the third SoulCycle location in the city, with others downtown and in the Marina. Reservations for classes can be made online, and they'll be going for the rather steep price of $30 apiece, with prices going down if you buy multi-class packages.

Also, SoulCycle plans an opening kickoff party at the Castro location with a DJ and "healthy snacks," and perhaps by "early summer" they're aiming to be open before Pride weekend at the end of June. A SoulCycle rep tells Hoodline that they will have their own float in this year's LGBT Pride parade.

Anyway, here's Nick Kroll and Tina Fey's version.

Joanna Rohrbach of Prancercise LLC is winning the internet this week, obviously, though we were a bit concerned that as she achieved web-wide viral fame in the last 48 hours, she was not profiting any from it because her website had gone offline. Well, it is back, and we need to point you to her marvelous book, a few testimonials, as well as to her very sensible diet tips.

First of all, as we mentioned yesterday, Prancercise dates back to 1989, and Joanna has been a Coral Springs, Florida-based wellness coach and aerobics instructor for two decades now. She has a degree in Health Services from the University of Miami School of Nursing, and advocates a mostly vegetarian lifestyle — not unlike that of a horse! Because, you see, she really digs horses, and strives to imagine herself as one, prancing and galloping her way to health.

To wit:

[One of the components of Prancercise® is] Using imagery to imagine ourselves as a beautiful animal that’s a symbol of beauty, strength and endurance while we’re exercising in order to free our minds of any self image that may be less appealing.

[And] allowing ourselves to fulfill our own sense of self-expression instead of imitating others like monkeys.

...

[Also] I personally strive to feel light [so] I want to spring off the ground like an antelope!

She has a description of her own diet regimen, which will be familiar to many pescatarians. She eats mostly vegetables and fruits and drinks mostly water, avoiding all processed foods, and eats "small amounts of salmon."

The tagline for the entire Prancercise enterprise: "It’s about Self-Expression. It’s about Non-violence. It’s about Conservation." [Editors' note: What?]

As for testimonials, we have the real ones (in all caps) from her various clients and friends posted on the Prancercise website. (E.g. FLORA STRAUSS, TAMARAC, FL. RETIRED PUBLIC RELATIONS AND FUND RAISING EXECUTVE “JOANNA HAS HELPED ME SUCCEESSFULLY WITH WELLNESS COACHING AND WE SMILE A LOT!”)

And there are the various reviews for her book on Amazon, all posted since Tuesday's explosion on Reddit and everywhere else, which include mostly mock-sincere testimonials about the benefits of Prancercise, but are worth a read nonetheless. (E.g. "I am not going to even prance around the point -- I am a brony. What's a brony? An adult, male fan of My Little Pony. But not just any fan, I am a serious fan... The one thing that the new My Little Pony franchise has not really taken into consideration is the health of their fanbase... That is where Prancercise comes in.")

Lest you want to mock Joanna, or lessen the import of the Prancercise® phenomenon currently sweeping the nation, please enjoy the remixes below, and understand that they make the world a better, and more springy, place.

Previously: Video: Prancercise, Failed '80s Fitness Craze, Rediscovered

According to Muni, the 22-Fillmore route from the Marina Green to Geary takes anywhere between 22 just 17 minutes. You'll need strong legs if you want to run beat that time. See, on Wednesday, July 20, The folks behind Motion Starved wants you to join them as they attempt to race (and beat!) the 22-Fillmore line from the Marina Green all the way to Geary Boulevard. Those of you first to reach the top of Fillmore Hill will be rewarded with prizes, glory.

Meet at Bay and Fillmore just before 6:20 pm on Wednesday. If the Muni schedule proves accurate (snort, chortle), a 22 Fillmore should depart at this location at around 6:30 pm.

Check out the Run With The Bus Facebook page for more details. Oh, and do remember to be careful while trying to beat the bus!

At first, we thought this was a bunch of art students or gamesters when we saw people setting up cones and bowling balls on a steep hill. Sidewalk bowling?

Appears to be an exercise class, with some people forced to run uphill while others do bowling ball pushups in a kind of urban basic training. Strange.