Oh, gosh, excuse us. Sorry. We just heard the unholy tale of Jean's cement Jesus statue, or lack thereof, and we're livid. Our Lord, it seems, is being held hostage. Why? Because Jean won't take care of her "poopies" or "weiners" [sic] -- at least according to the CNN reporter, doing his best to make it on Best Week Ever or the Daily Show.

Real? Fake? Blasphemous? Who cares. Because: "poopies."

Thanks, James, for sending this our way.