SOUL: According to the The New York Times' Stephen Holden--or so says SF Weekly--Ashford & Simpson audiences are made up of "singles, doubles, gays, straights, blacks, whites, all mixed together and singing along." Solid. 7 p.m. // The Rrazz Room at Hotel Nikko (222 Mason) // $45-$55 CHORALE: Devoted to performing "established repertoire of all periods and newly commissioned works of promising composers, the International Orange Chorale's concert--titled "Music to Chill By"--features a wide......

COMEDY: Even though she finds redheads atrocious, we still love us some Chelsea Handler. The comedienne, who's hosted several shows on E! and penned numerous books (Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea), performs downtown tonight. Women want to be her, the gays want to want to go "Eeeeee!" over her, straight men want to hump her, dykes want to move in with her -- really, Handler has something for everyone. 9 p.m. //......

FASHION/MUSIC: SF Weekly's Hiya Swanhuyser has word that tonight's fashion extravaganza/concert "The Ant Show’s 4th Annual Boxer Rebellion"--featuring rock beats care of Murder of Lilies, the Catholic Comb, and Ghost to Atom--will be the thing to go to tonight. And we agree. She also reveals what it was like to have to sit next to your SFist Editor for almost five years. (The poor thing!) Anyway, tonight's show also boasts the work of designers......

While we're being asked by security to leave the premises at tonight's SFIFF Golden Gate Awards Party--we hear it's open-bar--check out one of these thrilling events happening tonight. Who knows? Maybe we'll run into you, post-ejection. COMEDY: Chad Leherman (of Last Comic Standing) and Justin Lamb (from SPF7) kick off a weekly night of stand-up chortling over at the historic Purple Onion with Something People Like. Breaking the comedy series' hymen is headliner Kevin......

Bay Area Obama supporters will unite tonight at Supperclub for Obamarama '08. The Indiana and North Carolina primary results will be broadcast, tunes will be spun all night, free beer, sake, and vodka will be served between 9 and 10:30 p.m., and many sweet prizes provided by local businesses will be raffled off at Midnight. RSVP in advance. and receive a $15 wine gift card at the door (wine people backed out) The event was......

FIESTA, FOREVER: Cinco de Mayo is a holiday honoring "an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla," according to Wikipedia. And on that night way back in May 5, 1862, said forces celebrated this win with chips, salsa, frozen margaritas, and body shots. Or so we assume. No one really knows for sure. That said, here are a couple of Latin American-ish......

We had no idea. In addition to the How Weird Street Faire, happening this Saturday from 11:11 a.m. to 5:55 p.m., and the Inline Skating Marathon (for reals?), which takes place on Sunday from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m in Golden Gate Park, you can also celebrate the art of getting stoned. Dude. This Saturday, May 3, is National Pot Smoking Day, or something like that. It takes place at Civic Center Plaza across......

Photo from Thunderheist CLUB: Those zany and offensive Vice Magazine kids are back in town this evening to pour vodka down your throat, shove blow up your nose, and have you up until all hours. The nerve of them. And we wouldn't miss their party for the world. Tonight at Mezzanine, Vice Live's party has Black Ghost and Thunderheist to get you on the dance floor. Also, luring you in are live DJs, complimentary......

*SURF EVENT: Surfing has taken an unfair beating over the last few days, so give it up for what is perhaps one of the best sports ever at Roxy Surf Night. Come drink beer, eat light bites, and meet such Roxy Pros as recent World and U.S. Longboard Champ Jennifer Smith, Santa Cruz's Billabong XXL finalist and Mavericks surf star Jenny Useldinger, and top longboarder Julie Cox. At 8:15 p.m. you can also catch......

MUSIC: Mac users, Morrissey followers, "the flock" -- there is no fan as rabid as a Lynda Carter fan. We're not kidding. Tales of their obsessive behavior are stuff of cabaret legend. In fact, we met one once, an LC fan, who kept going on and on about what lovely decor she had in her fabulous home. Which, it seems, he viewed from outside her window night after night. Anyway, Carter--famous for being Wonder......

*MUSIC: John Reis (best known as singer and guitarist for Rocket from the Crypt, who goes by such monikers as Speedo, Slasher, and The Swami) has yet another post-punk project to share with you all: the Night Marchers. They perform in Potrero Hill tonight along with the Muslims and Nowheres. 8:30 p.m. // Bottom of the Hill (1233 - 17th Street) // $12-$14 FILM: SF International Film Festival is going on, and SFist cannot......

Psst! Anyone out there holding onto one of the sacred 1000 journals? If so, add to it already and pass it on! Or send it back to Someguy. Inquiring minds across the world want to see these 1000 journals! SF Int'l Film Fest's screening of 1000 Journals at Kabuki on Saturday was very warmly received by a large audience, and questions abounded at the Q&A with filmmaker Andrea Kreuzhage and Someguy, the creator of The......

EXHIBIT OPENING: Fecal Face Dot Gallery opens its doors tonight with Kottie Paloma's work. According to SFBG, the show features "over 250 5-by-7-foot graphite portraits that San Francisco artist Kottie Paloma produced over the last 2 years (each titled A Daily Stranger), the work forms a survey of the strangers in Kottie's life." Perfect for all of you ADHD diagnosed folk out there. Runs through May 7, (Wed., 3-8 p.m. and Sun., noon-6 p.m.)......

A funny thing happened on the way to our last improv class taught by SPF7's Sammy Wegent (with SPF7's Bob Brindley filling in) last December. We fell flat on our face and had an epiphany: Comedy--and dare we say life--is all about falling on your face and turning your misery into entertainment. (We also learned we should never walk swiftly down a slight incline while wearing those dang chef shoes that always make us twist......

Famous for being Katherine Hepburn's first and last Broadway musical (at 3:06 you'll see why), Alan Jay Lerner and André Previn's play about designer (and alleged Nazi sympathizer) Coco Chanel, Coco, gets a second chance this Saturday. Set in the mid '50s when Chanel was considered a has-been, Coco decides to make a return to the world of high fashion. And, according to Wikipedia, "with her new collection derided by the critics, she faces......

Gay mafia don, Marke B., has word that the Powerblouse (TM 71Miles) is hosting a prom night for all of you homosexuals who weren't able to attend your senior prom. The theme is "Leather & Lace." Steamy. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, we should mention, are hosting this night under to remember. Proceeds from the night go to raise funds to fight the proposed butterfly-killing spray that will soon blanket San Francisco, or whatever......

Have a fun, festive, and frivolous Sunday on this, the day of resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. (Or not.) Be sure to hit up the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence's party in Dolores Park. Those wacky girls have a Best Bonnet Contest (1 p.m.), a Hunky Jesus Competition (3 p.m.), music, mayhem, and much more. A sun-drenched San Francisco tradition not to be missed. free...

Last night's screening of Wayne Wang's A Thousand Years of Good Prayers on opening night of the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival was a sheer delight. The film is based on Bay Area author Yiyun Li’s book of short stories. Wayne Wang was there to present the film to us, and then he and star Henry O answered questions after the film. Afterwards, everyone headed over to the Asian American Art Museum for......

We volunteered to meet and greet sell Noise Pop merchandise to festival attendees who often ended up spending all their money on band merch (as if) and/or beer (or more specifically in Cafe Du Nord's case -- Fernet Branca and Poppy Jaspers). It was quite a fun experience though, and we highly recommend it. Contact them about volunteering at next year's event! Tuesday: Our first Noise Pop night was on Opening Night at the Rickshaw......

Today we're not going to be talking about just any BART. We're going to be talking about your BART. Well, technically, it's myBART; and we're astonished to report that it's actually a rather good idea. Here's how the website describes itself: myBART sends out a free weekly email full of entertainment news, ticket giveaways and big discounts to events happening close to BART stations. Holy crap. A transit agency ... that actually provides you......

What with all of the media attention this summertime concert has received as of late, you would assume Miley Cyrus (the Madeleine Elster/Judy Barton narrative of our time) was booked to "sing" at Golden Gate Park. Alas, she is not. Your consolation prize? Radiohead, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, and Jack Johnson are lined up for the debut of the Outside Lands Music & Arts Festival, happening August 22-24. Ticket prices, activities, other performers,......

Don't forget: famed photog, Annie Leibovitz, has an exhibit opening at the Legion of Honor tomorrow, which runs through May 25. The show runs the gamut from her professional stuff -- you know, the images of Cindy Crawford with a snake; a nude Demi Moore with fetus; and Chris Rock with top hat -- to some of her more personal works. Do stop by, won't you? Also, she was in town today to promote......

Oh my God, we're so there. If there was ever a reason to kick it over at the Bayview Hunters Point Multipurpose Senior Services, this would be it. Join us tomorrow in our quest for clinical obesity as we head over the the 27th Annual Black Cuisine Cooking Contest & Street Festival. We're not sure what to expect, exactly; the only noir-esque cuisine that comes to mind are peach cobbler, collard greens, and lots......

We admit having never seen that word before: sackbut. It sounds full of promise, definitely. Turns out it's a medieval trombone, and it will be heard this coming weekend at a few choice concerts. ...

ROCK: Over at Edinburgh Castle, the aptly-titled indie-punk band Cupids headlines tonight along with Levator (Seattle) and Dazzling Strangers. *FILM: The film you all had to sit through in English Lit class goes up on the big screen, Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. In addition to the gorgeous Shakespearean tragedy, KRON 4's Jan Wahl interviews Olivia Hussey ("Juliet") and the divine Connie Champagne performs. (Psst, Connie Champagne will be the highlight of the night.......

According to the fine folks over at The Sword (NSFW), the GayVNs (NSFW) will be held here on Saturday -- you know, those homosexual pornography achievement awards, which led to Mayor Gavin Newsom getting all Berkeley City Council on us after he declared Feb. 23 to be Colt Studio Day last year? -- coinciding with that hairy-large-gay-appreciation festival thing happening. Anyway, last year the GayVNs had comedienne and social critic Kathy Griffin hosting the......

LIVE MUSIC: Parenthetically named '80s pop outfit Was (Not Was) is known for the song, "Walk the Dinosaur" And that ditty? Went a little something like this: "Open the door, get on the floor/Everybody walk the dinosaur/Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom." Bring your favorite Gen-Xer to hear them live at Cafe Du Nord. *FILM: Just in time to make you feel less bad about being single on Valentine's Day is Woody Allen's Annie Hall.......

Piff! Pow! Zwap! On Valentine's Day at precisely 6 p.m. at Justin Herman Plaza, San Francisco will play host to its third annual public pillow fight. And they're looking for a few good men and women. The rules of the fight are as follows: 1) Tell everyone you know about Pillow Fight! 2) Tell EVERYONE YOU KNOW about Pillow Fight!!! 3) Nothing in your pillow but pillow. 4) Don’t hit anyone with out a......

Starting this Thursday (Feb. 14) and going until next Monday (Feb 18) will be the International Bear Rendezvous, a yearly party for bears and bear lovers, sponsored by the Bears of San Francisco. What are bears, you ask? Bears are above-averagely hairy and/or fat men of the homosexual persuasion. Although considered a subset of the overall queer community, they were, arguably, quite popular for a brief moment in time, or so sayeth the holy......

READING: Idiolexicon Poetry Series brings together different types of poets -- from slam to experimental, hip-hop and academia -- having them share a stage. Tonight, the lineup includes performances by poets Stephen Meads and Myron Michael, and music by Cynthia Weyuker. Happens tonight at the Boxcar Playhouse. COMEDY: Part of local sketch comedy troupe SPF7, Justin Lamb and Jay Starr perform tonight at Club Deluxe. MUSIC: One of the Innovators of the Bakersfield Sound,......