Oh yeah, we almost forgot. They're getting married this weekend somewhere in Canada at some sort of horse breeding ranch. Or wherever. Billed as an "old-fashioned wedding social," featuring "wrangler events, a cowboy cookout and barn dancing," you can read Matier and Ross getting damp over Saturday's most unholy affair here. Anyway, while we coax Beth Spotswood down from the Golden Gate Bridge with chilled vodka and a crushed Xanax, feel free to use......

After three years, she's kicking him out of the guest room for good. We thought you should hear it from us first. That is all.......

Well, you can breathe a sigh of relief, citizen of the Bay Area. Tempestuous celebrity couple Sean Penn and Robin Wright-Penn have withdrawn their petition for a divorce. Apparently, the Oscar winning method actor took to the stage this past Monday night at some sort of Eddie Vedder cabaret revue and "reportedly dedicating a song to his wife." Sniff. The sweet and sour couple who reside in Marin, if you recall, called it quits......

(Sing it, Tammy. Just...sing it.) Marsha Garces Williams and Oscar-winning actor and ADHD comedian Robin Williams have filed for divorce. Sigh. The local celebrity couple were tied together for over long 19 years. But according to Leah Garchik, trouble between the two has been prevalent for some time. Garces was not at Williams' side when he was honored by the San Francisco International Film Festival last spring, and amid reports of many sightings in......

Well, this is some depressing news. Marin's very own Hollywood transplant power couple, Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn, are getting a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. At least according to People Magazine they are. The couple, chained together in varying levels of wedding bliss for over 11 years, have two children. The two appeared together in two flicks: the film adaptation of Hurlyburly and Nick Cassavetes' She's So Lovely. (We love the latter. A lot.) And if......

Oh la la. The reportedly very prickly Reese Witherspoon and rubenesque Vince Vaughn -- whatever, we'd hit it. Hit it hard -- are in town filming their new divorce-themed romcom, Four Christmases. (According to IMBD, it's about a "couple struggle to visit all four of their divorced parents on Christmas Day." If you're not in tears already, then clearly you have no soul.) And here they are at a....downtown locale of some sort? We......

SFist interviews the Reverend Billy of "what would jesus buy?"...

All of you YouTube addicts out there are probably familiar with many of the "absoludicrous"* found video clips from Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett's touring Found Footage Festival (*Mr. T makes an appearance in the "Celebrities Who Teach" series). The critically-acclaimed event will be in San Francisco tonight and tomorrow night at the Roxie Red Vic at 7:15 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. and this Sunday at the Parkway in Oakland for a 5 p.m.......

--Check out Ross Mirkarimi's Gavin hair! Didn't someone else try this too? --When is a dognapping a terrorist act? (Hint: animal rights activists may be involved). --Apple TV isn't doing so well --Tapioca Ed turns in his residency paperwork to the SF City Attorney a day early. --Keep affairs on your own side of the bridge! People are starting to subpoena Fastrak records in divorce cases. --It's queer senior prom at the LGBT Community......

All across the Ist-A-Verse (or at least the American parts thereof), writers and editors are in the midst of enjoying their three-day weekend. But after the week we've all had, we feel like the break is not only needed, but deserved. Just look at everything we've been doing! Gothamist headed into the Memorial Day weekend with a number of tasks accomplished. They worried about Long Islanders giving New Yorkers a bad name. They tried......

With "Survivor" out of the way, we can now concentrate on "The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman." Oh joy! We'll admit we've been reading a lot of gossip about the show, rife with spoilers, and while those spoilers might not be true, we kind of think they are. We won't spill the beans here, but we'll just say it's kind of taken the suspense out of the whole thing. And we'll also add: we......

--The dude who got shot yesterday isn't cooperating with the cops. --David Halberstam's attorney blames the J-School driver for Halberstam's fatal car accident. --A second gas leak in SF this afternoon? This one in Nob Hill. --There was a fire at 1 a.m. this morning on Natoma (between Mission and S. Van Ness) and 14th Street. --A Santa Cruz councilmember has issued an apology for making sexual comments to a female police officer on a......

So earlier today, we heard that Alex Tourk resigned as Gavin's campaign manager. It was a bit curious, a bit odd, but these things happen, although whenever somebody mentions that they are leaving for "personal reasons" the mind does tend to go to certain places. But no matter where your mind wandered, we have a feeling it didn't wander as far as what really happened because the Chron is reporting that Tourk quit mainly because Gavin had an affair with Tourk's wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk. Rippey-Tourk (and woah, what a name) was Gavin's appointments secretary at the time....

he Calfornia Supreme Court yesterday decided to weigh in on Gay Marriage by agreeing to decide whether or not a ban on gay marriage is constitutional or not. At issue is whether or not the ban is discriminatory. How did we get here? Let's go take the Way Back Machine and see. ...

When does the RCV count begin -- in the District 6 election! And as promised earlier, this week's episode is indeed titled: Everybody Hates The Wait. --Man, it sounds like we just missed the Dalys' almost-to-victory speeches at the DNA Lounge last night. Savannah Blackwell (yay! she's writing again!) has the good word. We're trying our best to get YouTube footage of Mrs. Chris Daly telling off "the motherf**kers at the Golden Gate Restaurant Association,"......

This is it! Your District 6 election is finally here! This week's episode: Everybody Hates The District 6 Election. That's a picture of Gavin Newsom voting early at City Hall -- and you know, we've heard he lives in District 6 now too. Gosh, who do you think he voted for for supervisor? (Also, he voted against Prop I. He's afraid of Question Time!) That wasn't very nice what Mr. Newsom said about Daly supporters......

Mondays are hard! We've scoured our inbox for invitations or event releases and came up empty handed. Hey, maybe we'll just go gorge ourselves at Little Star Pizza? Oh no, wait, they're closed, too! Damn you, Monday, for keeping us from drunkenness or gluttony! Damn you to hellllll! At trying times like these, we pull up our funcheap SF email for the week (if you're not on this email list, get on it!), but even......

We're back from vacation -- and it's hard to get caught up on two weeks of news! Why didn't anyone tell us San Jose mayor Ron Gonzales got indicted? Over a garbage-services contract, no less. Mr. Gonzales, really -- if you're going to collaborate with the teamsters, can't you pick a less obvious type of city contract to collaborate over? We're also impressed that the latest article gratuitously mentions that Gonzales is in an ugly divorce after allegations of an extramarital affair arose. How did it become that the SJ mayor is now more lurid than SF's? Back in SF, Everybody Hates Chris District 6 candidate Rob Black finally launched his website. It reveals that in his youth, he used to organize reggae concerts. Get up, stand up. Don't give up the fight! On a similar note, M&R reluctantly reveal that there was probably no impropriety in Chris Daly's former roommate getting a job as a housing inspector, despite their valiant efforts to find some. And finally, the SF Party Party is thrilled to announce that someone (besides exotic male dancer Starchild) is going to run against Bevan Dufty for the District 8 seat. We here at the 'Fist have been asked to start up a District 8 election watch column too (if only to have an excuse to interview Starchild), but we're not doing it until someone suggests a fun name for the column. Go to it in the comments, folks! If we get a name we like, we'll totally launch it up. ...

Bravely risking horrifying pregnancy and/or breast-feeding remarks from multinymous Commenter Matt/Brunhilda/Saul, we'll report that the Guilfency nuptials may be of the shotgun variety, as Kim's five months pregnant with a son! According to Page Six, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Eric Villency actually got engaged "at the end of last year, but (Kim) kept it secret until her divorce from San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom became final." We'd given up on trying to find a registry......

The most recent reports about the San Francisco mother who tried to kill her two children and herself say that her 4-year-old son will survive (but may have suffered brain damage), but the daughter has died. The mother is (physically) fine. Neighbors and friends say the mother was despondent over her divorce, and seeing a psychiatrist at the time. The political really is personal sometimes: the 21-year-old son of Alameda City Councilman Frank Matarrese has admitted that he emailed a death threat to one of his father's constituents after the constituent asked Matarrese to step down. The email read: "Subject: Consider this a death threat. You might want to consider not leaving your house for a while. Who knows the next time a sniper may pick you off from 300 meters. (signed) The Right to Bear Arms." The constituent and Matarrese were debating the Alameda Theater project (he was for, she was against). Matarrese has apologized for his son's behavior. And good news for the SFPD -- they caught a suspect! Yesterday afternoon, someone ran over a man at a Shell gas station near Mission and Richland after some kind of dispute, and fled the scene. The cops located his car (parked near the scene of the crime) and the SFPD gang task force located the suspect some time this morning. The police think the victim was on his way to a wake for the man shot last weekend at 25th and Capp. ...

Oh, you did not go there, Mr. John Claassen! This Oakland-based attorney (now in solo practice, previously affiliated with the law firm of Skadden Arps) is suing online dating site eHarmony. eHarmony won't let Classen post on their site because he's still married, and Classen claims he's being discriminated against based on that silly little piece of paper he signed, to the tune of $12,000. Claassen is separated, but not yet divorced, from his wife (the divorce will be final in May). He says eHarmony has no business telling him he can't post on their site -- rather, he should be able to post his ad and other singles should decide whether or not they want to get in touch with him on their own. In the article, Claassen explains himself thusly: "I just think I've got a right as an individual trying to recover from something that wasn't the high point of my life. If that includes dating now, why can't I?" Well, in the wake of these news releases, we're sure people are lining around the block for an opportunity to go out with this suave cat. ...

Phillyist notes a fistfight between local pols that leaves one man down for the count. Jehovah's Witnesses get a Philly contributor out of bed, things get a little geeky with a film festival and geeky gets taken to a whole new galaxy when they talk with the Dragon Queen of the Dark Kingdom. Shanghaiist gets all excited this week over a new nightclub in the city unfortunately named "Snatch" and Mike Tyson is scheduled to......

Well, it's not quite Bush stealing Florida or anything, but due to circumstances out of our control, the previous Gavin-Sofia couple name election has hit some woes -- it looks like the polling program we were using has crashed. Not only has it crashed, it appears to crash the whole site (at least on Internet Explorer) as well. Darn it! Here, though, because we're San Francisco, we're going to make the Democratic Party's 2000 dreams come true -- we're going to vote again! (There are so many free poll hosting sites out there!). Click away and we'll announce the winner on Monday!

Oooh, we hope Gavin starts jumping up and down on Bruce Pettit's City Desk Newshour couch next! Matier and Ross report that Gavin, a tireless warrior for nookie, eagerly accepted an invitation from his latest conquest, CSI Miami actress Sofia Milos, for a trip to LA. A stay at the Chateau Marmont -- where he could see Jessica Simpson, also canoodling while waiting for her divorce to become final; maybe some strolling down Melrose, and then a benefit dinner for the "Citizens' Commission for Human Rights." Sounds great, right? A little work, a lotta play! Whoot-whoot! Well. It turns out Sofia Milos is a very active Scientologist. And the innocuously-named Citizens Commission for Human Rights? A Scientology-funded organization that advocates against the use of psychiatric drugs. You remember, the group that went after post-partumly depressed Brooke Shields. Oh, we get it now! This'll be great for the mentally ill homeless population -- Care Not Lithium! (what is it with our town and the Scientology medical controversies, anyways?) Aides pointed this out to Newsom. (It's not like they hide it or anything -- their website says that Kurt Cobain died from psychiatric drug use. Funny, we always thought Kurt Cobain died from a gunshot wound to the head.) Newsom was like, whatevs, and went anyway. That guy is desperate for love! Unrelated, but amusing, picture of Globetrotter Gavin at last year's March Gladness tournament....

Niall Kennedy finds a San Jose couple who had a Web 2.0 wedding. Let's all wish them luck, because a Web 2.0 divorce could get ugly. If you're still looking for a man in San Jose, San Jose Inside's Single Gal suggests a trip to the Shark Tank. Beth Spotswood knows who she wants, but just misses The Gavster at Medjool. In local events, you had plenty to choose from. Mike Lin dropped by......

Go Gavin, it's your birthday -- We gonna party like it's Gavin's birthday -- sip Bacardi like it's Gavin's birthday! Well, maybe a little too much Bacardi was sipped at Gavin's 38th birthday bash, held (where else?) at the Gettys' -- Matier and Ross are reporting that wife-on-hold Kimberly Guilfoyle had to be separated from another guest when the words got ugly. After Kimmie's triumphantly gushy toast about how she loves Gavin just as much today as she did when she first met him, word has it that Dad Guilfoyle was chatting it up with the wife of protective press secretary Peter Ragone about the status of the on-again off-again divorce, and Janine Ragone said, "sometimes the things she says in public don't come off right in the papers." Apparently Mr. Ragone hasn't been too pleased with Kim ever since that Harper's Bazaar photo spread came out. Oh, we miss those days! gossip gossip buzz buzz buzz -- word about the comment gets back to Kimbers, who apparently flips out and starts in on Mrs. Ragone. Much like the First Couple's marriage, Kim and Janine are temporarily separated, but then they somehow end up back together for "expletive-laden" round two. It gets so bad that Steve Kawa, Newsom's chief of staff, decides it would be best to just load Kim and Gavin (who apparently had absolutely no idea that any of this was going on) into a waiting car tout de suite. You think Matt Gonzalez's birthday party would have ended like this? ...

In an era of nuclear families, divorce is not the trauma it used to be. Consider the little Emmy's parents, for instance. She is doing fine, as we (ie. SFist Sam) can attest, despite the founders having gone each their way. As we understand it, she stayed in the custody of her mom, while daddy started afresh, and partnered Blue Jay cafe. Blue Jay is a little brother to Emmy's in many ways: It......

Sorry, PJ Corkery, for our terrible maligning of your gossip source-ery yesterday! As you may remember, Leah Garchik and the Chron on the one hand reported that the Gavin-Kimberly divorce was final, where PJ and the Ex on the other reported (.pdf, page 5) that the divorce paperwork was actually on hold. Your Political Junkie here at SFist speculated that maybe Leah's version of events was "more correct" because the Examiner had mysteriously refused to put PJ's article on its website yesterday. Well, eggs on faces and dishes of crow all around for Leah and for the Junkie, as the Chron nicely retracts its story in today's TIC, reporting that PJ was right and they were not. (No credit to PJ, but we suppose that's par for the course in the cutthroat SF gossip scene!) Leah also throws in the tidbits that Gav and the still-Mrs. Gav actually left North Beach to go to the Ferry Building, Soma, and Noe Valley to celebrate their ambivalence. (Hooray, we aren't sure how we feel about each other! Skoal!) We're sorry, PJ! We'll never doubt you again! Please forgive us! (While we're still pulling for the Celine Dion style renewal of vows by Gaverly, we'll only believe it when we see it -- in PJ's column!) ...

Duelling gossips in today's San Francisco media! On the one side, we have the Chron and Leah Garchik's TIC column, reporting that the Newsom and the Guilfoyle are now officially kaput as of today (despite a sighting at Enrico's Friday night -- do these people ever leave North Beach? Heck, do these people ever venture north of Broadway?). On the other, PJ Corkery's Examiner column reports (.pdf, page 5) that Gav and Kim decided not to finalize the paperwork and furthermore, they've put the whole divorce thing on ice to think it over some more. Maybe Gav forgave Kim for all those banana in the pants comments from last year -- or maybe Kim (whom we've always suspected to be PJ's source) is just engaging in some wishful thinking. Or maybe, like the media's been pointing out all week in regards to other matters, this is more of Gavin's famous indecisiveness coming through again. Given that the PJ Corkery column is now missing from the Examiner website, we're thinking maybe Leah's reporting is more correct. (Everyone seems to agree that PJ's reporting that the divorce was final two weeks ago was wrong, so we'll retract that as well.) Well, either way, we totally hope there's a Gavin Newsom-Kimberly Guilfoyle space-alien themed wedding vow renewal, just like Celine Dion! ...

Whew, it's been such an eventful posting day that we've only just now gotten to the big political gossip news! According to PJ Corkery's Examiner column, remember when Kimmie and Gavin went out a few weeks ago to the Tosca? And Matt Gonzalez was there that night (scroll down) too? With Sean Penn? Well, someone (our bet is that it's Kimberly, since Kimberly talks to PJ all the time) told PJ that Matt went up to Gavin and noted how funny it was that new L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa beat James Hahn after being defeated by Hahn four years before. Gavin, swift as a hare, says, ".....are you running again, Matt?" Matt smiled, and walked away. Someone then reported that Kimberly then went up to Matt and said, OMG Matt, are you running? PJ concludes, "I think Matt was just giving them the mickey." Wait, wasn't it just the other day they were saying Matt was going to run for governor? Or the House of Representatives? But OMG, Matt, are you running??? Tell us!! We're totally more trustworthy than ol' Kimbers! And oh yeah, by the way -- today's the day the hyphen-Newsom gets officially detached from the name Kimberly Guilfoyle; Kim and Gav's divorce is final as of today. Let us know if you see Gavin staggering into any bars this weekend! Picture from CNN and the AP...