Well, frankly, neither had we. That is, until we read this crazy -- yet, not so crazy -- article on Republicans in Ohio switching party alliances and voting Democratic. 16,000 Republicans, to be exact. Now, why the heck would all these Republicans go Democrat? This is part of "The Plot." Instigated by Rush Limbaugh, the theory is that Hillary Clinton would be easier for Republican fave, John McCain, to beat at election time. By having......

Yesterday, the drug chain maneuvered through the choppy waters of bipartisan politics via Republican and Democrat Pez dispensers. Now they honor Black History Month, which starts today, by the way, with a barely squelched cotton-pickin' joke. You slay us, Walgreens. Credit: Nature abhors a vacuum......

While perusing the colorful aisles of Walgreens this afternoon -- because nothing sooths the soul and an ADHD-addled mind like a trip to Walgreens -- we came across Pez's take on the election. It took us some time to dig through all of the elephants to find a donkey, but we did. Rainbow Grocery should have it's own Green version available soon, we hope. Maybe a Pez-dispensing gray whale, a Nazi solider, or something......

Dear automobile driver/registered Democrat, We heart you. Love, us We found this over at Nature abhors a vacuum, and we couldn't be more tickled. This is usually the kind of image that enrages both the counter-culture neo-conservative warriors of the Bay Area and the appalling politics-is-like-a-game-of-chess bullshit spouting elite. But, you see, this driver knows what time it is: just stick a democrat in the White House, because at this point, any of those......

Let's hope no oil tankers crash into the Bay Bridge this week -- Gavin's out of town again, this time bundled up for snow as he campaigns for Hillary Clinton in Iowa. Not quite as temperate in the middle of the country right now as it was in his last two vacation spots this month -- guess Gavin still owes the Clintons for backing him in 2003 against non-Democrat Matt Gonzalez, huh? The Republicans......

-- Girlfight tonight! Well, not tonight, but some nights ago, one presumably drunk girl stabbed another in the eye her stiletto heel at (ugh) Slide. [The Snitch] -- "Chili finger woman" may get a more mild sentence. Hey, we thought she had a good idea there, but...alas. [CBS5] -- No really, did Gavin think about this? [SFBG] -- Democrat fundraiser cum fugitive Norman Hsu's suicide attempt. [Chron] -- Ed Jew pleads not guilty, won't......

-- Democrat fundraiser Norman Hsu is on the run! [Chron, KGO] -- Fred Thompson to run for Prez. [CBS5] -- Now more than ever before, San Diego sucks. [CBS5] -- Cruising, it seems, also sucks. [SFBG] -- More and more murder. (Weren't we guaranteed something about a murder-rate reduction last year?) [Chron] -- Santa Clara fire stills rages. [KRON4] -- History of the Cadillac Hotel at Eddy and Leavenworth. [BeyondChron] -- Vallejo giraffe dead.......

Fundraiser, five-head sufferer, and possible one-time kidnapping victim Norman Hsu skipped his San Mateo County Superior Court appearance this morning and is now the lam! He is wanted for a 15-year-old felony warrant for grand theft. Some fear that since he was supposed to return his passport this morning, but failed to do so, he might be en route to Antarctica, or somewhere, by now. Run, Norman, run! Hsu has donated to such Democrat......

"Cult Alert!" flyers garnished lamp posts on Third and Market Streets the other night -- a siren song if ever we've heard one. (It seems like forever since SF's been plagued with a jazzy, crazy-ass cult. No offense, L. Ron.) In case you missed them, or in case the quality of life sect tore them down, the missives cried out: Cult Alert! Please be advised: Youth With a Mission (YWAM) has been under investigation......

While most of the 2006 elections are over, there's still a bit of a contention coming from, where else, Florida. In the Sarasota congressional race, a recount was held and 18,000 under votes were discovered. That meant those people voted for everything else but not for congress. This drew alarm bells from people because the percentage of under votes was higher than anywhere else. And, you'd have to figure that the one race people would vote on would be for congress instead of the school board or bond measures or a Sarasota style Question Time. Voters also complained that the machines garbled everything up and they never got a chance to vote. ...

This week Newsweek hops on the "San Francisco Values" bandwagon with a story on Pelosi and what they refer to as San Francisco's "Loony Left." The story makes it seem like we're Nancy's redheaded stepchild. Oh wait, we're probably going to get a comment about saying something bad against redheads and stepchildren so we'll say crazy aunt instead. Oh now we'll get comments about discriminating against aunts and crazy people and, well, forget we even mentioned it. ...

And so yesterday it was made official-- our Little Nancy is now Speaker of the House. No matter what you may think about her-- ultra-liberal, corporate sell-out, uninspirationalparty hack, and inspirational career woman-- it's a pretty big deal. Among other things it means, yes, pork, tons of pork headed to us. More pork than an All You Can Eat night at Jimmy Dean Sausage Emporium ...

We're going to post this now before the evil lawers at NBC demand it to be pulled down so they can keep it up on their crappy site. What we're posting is the opening skit of last night's "Saturday Night Live" (which was actually kind of funny-- loved the Britney skit). Basically, it's their take on "San Francisco Values" with attendant jokes about alternate life styles and political correctness. It's pretty funny and kind of cutting (a friend thought it was a little too cutting) but well, we liked it. ...

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. DAMN Choreography objects to an article about them with the title "Tits and Assets." It's their special East Bay politics issue! Political bloggers wreaking havoc in Alameda, that Democrat running against Pombo might actually win, hipsters are voting for Aimee Allison. The EBX recommendations, plus a genius move -- polling people about fake propositions. We liked the school vending machine tax to go to anti-bullying programs, and the......

It is kind of silly to assign politics to restaurants or diets. But Cha-Ya, a relatively new Japanese restaurant serving only vegan food, struck us as a magnet for people left of the Kucinic wing of the Democrat party. Maybe Green party supporters or unrepentant Chomskyists. Or just basic wanna-be commune-living combi-driving Berkeleyans, as Cha-Ya is the sister restaurant of the similarly named Shattuck Ave eatery. Of course, this being SF, the place is packed.......

Recently, the Senate voted on the Republicans biennial attempt at saving America from the horrible threat of flag burning. Goodness gracious, imagine the hullabaloo if a bunch of gay Mexicans ever decided to burn a flag. Anyways, we hoped that the bill would fail miserably and the Democratic Party would have nothing to do with it but it didn't happen. Instead it came a vote short of passing. We did happen to notice, however, that the bill was labeled as "bipartisan" as it was co-sponsored by a Democrat. And the particular Democrat who cosponsored it? Our very own Diane Feinstein. Which we knew about but totally forgot because what with the war still raging, government eavesdropping programs going unfettered, and our complete and total obsession with "Battlestar Galactica," had moved onto bigger and more important things to concern ourselves with. ...

It looks like San Francisco's case of Impeachment Fever is catching on a state-wide level, a bill has been introduced calling for the House of Representatives to start with impeachment proceedings. Two key things about this one-- first off, it also calls for Cheney to be impeached too (which, by our reckoning would give us President Hastert. Unless it happens next year in which case it could mean President Pelosi!). The second thing is that somebody in Illinois did their research and discovered a little known clause in the House rules that says that state legislatures can call for impeachment proceedings. We're sure the House will get right to it. ...

Let's check in with San Francisco couple of the moment, CSI: Plumpjack -- how's the love blossoming between Mayor Gavin Newsom and actress/Scientology activist Sofia Milos? Leah Garchik reports that CSI: Plumpjack made an appearance at Willie Brown's 72nd birthday party, hosted up in wine country by big Democrat donor Darius Anderson, and then on Sunday afternoon, they caught a showing of that spelling bee musical. Are we the only ones who find that an interesting choice, in light of all of Newsom's press releases about being dyslexic? And we're not sure if this is CSI: Plumpjack related or not, but SFist Jon pointed out to us that Newsom's doing a press conference tonight at 6:30 p.m. with John Travolta, where Newsom and the star of Battlefield Earth are scheduled to "exchange gifts." It's ostensibly to promote the arrival of Qantas Air to SFO, but -- who wants to bet that Travolta's "gift" is a copy of Dianetics? (Travolta says he's glad Qantas is flying to San Francisco as I formed a great attachment to the city over the years." We're sure he has!) Oh, it's so TomKat! Soon Gavin will be striving to give birth silently too! Picture of Sofia Milos and John Travolta at Scientology event...

Yes, our beautiful city and it's congressional representative once again made the "Daily Show." Yay! And could we be more provincial? Anyways, the bit was on latest political meme being that despite all the Republicans troubles caused by committing the three biggest sins of politics-- bad war, bad governance, bad ethics-- the Democrats are once unable to shoot straight. Or even fire their guns without blowing themselves up in the process and winding up looking like Daffy Duck taking on Bugs Bunny and having their beak blown up to the other side of his head. So Stewart and the gang went through a variety of recent statements by Democratic leaders to illustrate the point. ...

Now that it's been revealed that the President was illegally eavesdropping on people and that his basic reaction was "suck on it," what was once the fevered acid flashback of a few hippies in Marin and Daily Kossacks is now suddenly going mainstream. The "I" word is out there and even if we're only talking about the equivalent of some unknown band suddenly generating a bit of a buzz and a faint whiff of interest from record execs, it's still generating some buzz. Maybe not the Strokes buzz, more Super Furry Animal Buzz, which is more buzz than it had before. Hopping on that buzz today is Barbara Boxer who sent a letter to four Presidential Scholars asking if they think what King George did rises to the merits of "impeachable offense."...

We have the latest and hottest political news today, coming to you from the best place to get the hottest California political news, the gossip pages. Which raises this interesting question: for those of us who read celebrity news to get away from politics, where do we go when politics become part of the gossip pages? And will all of this mean that we should start watching "Extra!" to get the lastest news on the Plame indictments? Anyways, in Monday's edition of the Examiner’s "The Scoop," there is a blurb about Entertainment Weekly saying that Warren Beatty "has been telling anyone who will listen that he plans to unseat Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger." And Cindy Adams writes in her Page Six column in the New York Post that the Governator is so pissed about the President poaching off his Republican money men, which he did last week and which the Governor was once again a very conspicuous no show, that he basically told the White House off and is threatening to become a Democrat over the whole thing. ...

Scared enough yet, with all this talk about Avian Bird Flu and quarantines and the Government saying "we got it under control" and the TomKat pregnancy? Well get ready 'cause things are about to get scarier. Some computer scientist at UC Davis just put together some new fangled computer system and determined that there is a 25% chance that there will be huge earthquake somewhere within 150 miles of San Francisco in the next twenty years. ...

Duane Baughman, you're our big winner! The political consultant is getting $15,000 to resolve the lawsuit that Supervisor (and newly-announced candidate for assessor/recorder, courtesy of the Sentinel) Gerardo Sandoval filed against him for those anonymous flyers sent out in the 2004 supervisors' race. Sandoval also, through gritted teeth, issued the following statement:

I regret pursuing this matter against Democratic political consultant Duane Baughman in the courts, and for any personal and professional trouble this may have caused him. We have settled the matter, and I consider it closed.

This settlement is proof that this was never about money. It was always about vindication in a public arena. Supervisor Sandoval has expressed his sincere regret to me personally about this entire matter. I consider the matter now closed, and I am happy to get back to the business of electing Democrats around the country.

After being blamed for the re-election of W., made a virtual pariah in the Democratic Party, and befriended by Angelina Jolie all for letting a few gay people marry, you would think that the Gavster would go quietly into that good night on the issue. After all, there’s nothing the Democratic Party hates more than some Democrat standing on principles and scaring off all those Red State types. Turns out he’s not going quietly. In fact, he has been pumping up both the jams and the volume on the issue. In the past week, he gave a speech at Harvard where he called out his fellow Democrats and yesterday, totally dissed New York Mayor Bloomberg over Hizzoner’s little problem with the issue....

While most of us have gotten over the previous election, even moving past both the four stages of mourning and the drunken depressed stupor stage, there are some people out there still fighting. Yesterday a rally was held in front of Sen. Barbara Boxer’s San Francisco office urging her to stand up and challenge the election results because of all the charges of fraud and disenfranchisement in Ohio. Tomorrow, members of congress will join together......

Walking dejectedly back to the first day of work in 2005, we noticed that the flags in town are flying at half-mast in honor of Sacramento's Democratic congressman Robert Matsui. Matsui, who had served in Congress continuously since 1978 (and who won reelection in November with 70.8% of the vote), died on New Year's Day from complications of an AIDS-like lymphomic cancer which destroyed his immune system. Matsui, who had been imprisoned with his family in a Japanese internment camp at the age of five months, is best-known for his work in seeking redress for the Japanese internment program (Quicktime video of Matsui's speech in support of the 1988 Japanese-American Redress Act), but was also the third-ranking Democrat on the Ways and Means Committee, the Democratic whip-at-large, and the chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Matsui, who was chairing the subcommittee of Ways and Means that handles Social Security, in what would be one of his last public statements, had sharply criticized Bush's privatization plans. Matsui was one of only five Asian-American Congressmen. Schwartzenegger must now call a special election to fill Matsui's seat; Sacramento insiders believe that his wife, Doris Okuda Matsui, who served in the Clinton administration, may run. It's a hard day for Democrats of color -- Gothamist on Shirley Chisholm's death. picture from washingtonlife.com...

SFist considers ways to escape Bush!...

If you're not stationed in front of the tube or out on the town (without WiFi) might we suggest monitoring the election via the innerweb? There's all sorts of resources out there, whether your on the left, right or somewhere in the middle. All the local counties will be posting live election results once the polls close at eight. San Francisco, San Mateo, Santa Clara, Alameda, Contra Costa and Marin counties all have website......

So tomorrow you'll have done your homework, stood in line, gotten your sticker and have been a good citizen. Now you just need a drink. On Election Day there are Parties (Democrat, Republican, third parties who never seem to have a chance) and there are parties (drinking, smoking, engaging in a little "bipartisanship" and a rousing game of pin the tail on the donkey). So after you've cast your vote, you democracy-loving fools, you can......

The League of Pissed Off Voters continues with their 40 Parties in 40 Days (though we're now only at a fortnight more of parties) with a big Thursday-night bash. ...