Last week's winner, the San Jose Metro. Alas! They haven't updated their site for this week yet, and we didn't manage to snag a hard copy of the paper, so they'll have to forfeit in the Weekly of the Week contest for the week. Next up, let's call it for the SF Weekly. Ephraim the Track Bike is back! And he mentions us! We love you, Ephraim the Track Bike! Did Ed Jew's people spearhead......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. A Oakland teacher beats up a social worker and threatens her students -- and still can't be fired. Why can't you get a free weekly in San Leandro? Cover article: The agony of med students waiting to find out where they're going to be doctors. (It's done by computers.) Do you think male poets read Bitch Magazine? Goat meat on International Boulevard. Irish rockers on St. Patrick's Day.......

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly. First, Dianne Feinstein came for the animal rights activists, and we said nothing. What are some of the election day losers doing now? Well, Krissy Keefer has been offered $100,000 to run against Gavin Newsom. Cover article: Chron blogs editor (and SFist editor emerita) Eve Batey must save the Chronicle!! (In a travesty of justice, Eve is not mentioned in the piece. Boooo!). It's actually a pretty decent article......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. DAMN Choreography objects to an article about them with the title "Tits and Assets." It's their special East Bay politics issue! Political bloggers wreaking havoc in Alameda, that Democrat running against Pombo might actually win, hipsters are voting for Aimee Allison. The EBX recommendations, plus a genius move -- polling people about fake propositions. We liked the school vending machine tax to go to anti-bullying programs, and the......

Let's look back at a week in which no site in the -ist network adopted anyone from Africa......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. More letters about Cody's? Okay, ew: there's cockroaches on AC Transits, and they had a lice infestation on BART. We are totally standing up on BART for the indefinite future. Also -- Ann Coulter is accused of plagiarizing from Jane Ganahl. Is Ann Coulter also feeling bad about being single? Spider bites. A new group encouraging more people to refuse to testify before grand juries. Will SFist Jackson......

Last week's winner, the Metro! Hilarious letter from a candidate for the SJ city council that 1) misspells Ron Gonzales's name and 2) gets the date of the election wrong. (Hey Metro, why aren't your letters online?) Gary Singh had a bitch of a time trying to get a burrito in SJ on May 1. Closing down the jailhouse law libraries, and no, the SJ Fourth Street Bowl will not be closing. Chinese youth orchestra......

Last week's winner, the Bay Guardian: Mocking Dede Wilsey and Newsom about the DeYoung parking situation. The Guardian gets distracted from its single-minded focus on Village Voice LLC to decry MediaNews's purchase of the San Jose Merc News. Letter from a Peoples Temple survivor asking for further investigations into a CIA conspiracy. Hipsters worry that they're accidentally causing gentrification in Oakland. Sonic Reducer reviews an album of songs sung by actors. You know, we may have to download the version of Ewan McGregor singing Sade (or Jennifer Garner singing a show tune. It's totally awesome to work out to!!!!!.) A review of the Flipper reunion show from April 8. It took them a month to get that up? New brunch place in Noe Valley, Shanghai soup dumplings in the Sunset. Cover: Daniel Clowes. And SFist Eve's horoscope: be more confrontational. Watch out, crazy commenters! The SF Weekly: Nate Cavallieri, ex-Weekly writer, won a journalism award for his cover article about a guy who works with gang members. Congratulations, Nate! Matt Smith on Chris Daly, Mission Housing, and someone saying that Daly speaks with a "forked tongue" -- outraged Matt Smith spittle flying everywhere! N.B.: Matt Smith reports that Chris Daly has adopted a policy of "not speaking to me." Gay cop sues. Orphan pigeon rescue. Cover article: why won't the SF Unified School District back smaller schools? Meredith goes BBQ, while SFist Ced roasts some ribs of his own! And Savage Love: do any fetishists want to buy a letter-writer's breast milk? Direct all responses to Dan Savage, not us. The EBX's Best Of issue, and the Metro -- after the jump....

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express: Vote for SFist in the EBX Readers' Poll! We love the chicken holding a sword with its foot in this week's Dream Comic. A company that puts prank pink flamingos on people's lawns (called "Flamingo Surprise"). Cover article: The Coup, along with that picture of their album with the World Trade Center blowing up. Rob Harvilla tells us his departure for the Village Voice isn't us, it's him. Good luck out there on the cold East Coast, Rob! Have fun with Christgau! Lit section. Hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy. And SFist Eve's horoscope: she's going to "find the passion to unite what at first glance seems like an unlikely gathering of associates." That's us over here at SFist! The SF Weekly: Vote for SFist in the SF Weekly Readers' Poll! The Apologist on the 1906 festivities, titled "Ready to Rumble." ("Honestly, I'm disgusted. This is a time to be celebrating earthquakes, not studying them." Ha!). Sucka Free City columnist (male) gives birth on Second Life. It's a girl! Cover article: Jewel thieves. Book section: The guilty pleasure of the Da Vinci Code. SFIFF. Meredith eats French! Good thing Ced's away, as we expect he was driven to heights of fury by the part where Meredith asks why a confit of rabbit isn't the same as a rabbit terrine. (We don't know the difference but we're sure our Gastronome does!). And Dan Savage infuriates bisexuals again. The Guardian and the Metro, after the jump, along with the Weekly of the Week....

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly. Hey, PUNI's back! So brilliant, we're using it as the WRTW picture this week -- it's brilliant because it's true! Matt Smith finally gets a cover article, on venture capital investments in grassroots organizing. He seems unusually enthusiastic about it, for him (i.e., "This might not suck."). Are you an apologist for Arlene Ackerman? Meredith starts off this week's review with "I haven't really been living in the Bay Area for the past month." Ced's thoughts on this! Where's the rest of the food critics this week? And Dan Savage's back on his game, with a Spanking The Monkey scenario, and a spanking the monkey scenario. Extra bonuses: Santorum, and a letter from the editor of the Economist. Really! Next up, the East Bay Express: Jokes about the Chronicle's photo department in Bottom Feeder. Why doesn't anyone care that the Oakland schools may go on strike? Rallies for two Korean men shot to death by the Dublin police. Cover: video documentaries about life on the street -- pretty interesting! Down In Front's looking for a new favorite band now that Grandaddy's broken up -- criteria listed (lyrics about drinking, female bass player). Look at these adorable punk kids in this band called the Matches!! Cuuuuuute! And new word: "Yahdidahbooboo," used as an interjection. The Guardian, the Metro, and the pick of the week after the jump. Yahdidahbooboo! Also, image from this week's PUNI, by Dan Siegler. Impeach Bush AND Daly! ...

...because we think they're cute and tiny! We totally didn't Read the Weeklies last week, which is in direct opposition to our What Would Rita Do? bracelet. With a break like that, we don't even remember who won last week, so let's start fresh, with the East Bay Express. Cute chicken on the cover, story is on how the avian flu is harder to prevent in free-range and cage-free poultry. Fascinating stuff. Dog-f**ker isn't......

...because we like big butts and we cannot lie. Looking at the Weeklies splayed out on our desk, it's an endless promise of fun. Let's ruin the illusion and dive right in. Last week's winner, the SF Weekly, sports Harmon Leon's absolutely f**king genius Infiltration of a Promise Keepers meeting. (Did you know that the busiest weekend for strip clubs in Indianapolis isn't during the 500, it's during the PK convention?) This week, no......

Tonight: Admit it, you only read the SF Weekly for Savage Love. Well, cranky Dan Savage is finishing up the Bay Area leg of his book tour tonight at Booksmith in the Haight, reading from his new memoir, The Commitment, about his partner, his family, raising his son, and gay marriage. Bring all your embarrassing questions about liaisons gone wrong; we're sure he'd be as thrilled to mock you in public as he is in print! Thursday: Hey, need any sports equipment? Sports Basement at 16th and DeHaro is sponsoring a fundraiser for the Potrero Hill Neighborhood House, which offers youth programs for low-income families. Everything in the store is 10% off, and 5% of all sales go to the Neighborhood House's afterschool programs. There's also a raffle -- win a baseball autographed by JT Snow! And hey! An emergency preparedness kit! (take chances on not taking chances -- we love it!) The reason for the benefit? To help close the $100,000 funding gap caused by city budget cuts. Thanks to SFist pal Mike for the tip! Friday: The art gallery the Luggage Store presents the 11th annual In the Street festival in the 'Loin, featuring street performers of all stripes (capoiera dancers, the Extra-Action Marching Band, a fire arts troupe, among others.) It's as free as a bird, on Ellis Street between Hyde and Leavenworth, and goes from 5-10 p.m. Picture from the Luggage Store Gallery site...

Special "We don't know how SFist Rita does it" edition. First up, last week's winner, the San Francisco Weekly. Dan Savage is on vacation! We have a feeling it will be a tough few weeks for the Weekly here at WRTW -- look for the Guardian, Metro and Express to land a few punches. Hint: you can read 'classic' Savage Love over at The Stranger. Are you an Arnie apologist? Speaking of steroids, Matt......

Last week's winner: SF Weekly. Ignore all other news and read the cover article about Dog and Order! So rad, we read it twice! Follow our latest crush (auf wiedersein, Chris Daly -- sorry), Officer Bill Herndon, as he presides over three cases in Dog Court. You know what's awesome? They call cases appealed to regular court "habeas canis." Awesome. (But why no mention of Animal Cops SF, covering the exact same material?) You can't run an article this awesome all the time, it diminishes everything else that appears in the paper by comparison: Matt Smith on raising parking fees, Harmon Leon works in pr0n, . Savage Love: transgender person tells friend, accidental barebacking, girl should dump inconsiderate boyfriend. The East Bay Express. Sadly, no articles about San Francisco Dog Court. (We love you, Officer Herndon!) Cover article: We're all going to die in a big earthquake in the next 30 years!!! Aaaaaaaaugh! (Part 1 of 2). Food reviews: An African-American Hebrew biblically-inspired vegan restaurant in Oakland. Queer Oakland hip-hop. The Guardian's Noise Pop coverage and the Metro on poetry slams, after the jump....

So many people to thank! If we forget you, rest assured that a warm, fuzzy thanks is in our hearts. First, we'd like to thank our contributors, without whom this site would be just another anonymous pet blog project, devoid of people in bunny suits and Chris Daly anecdotes. We'd like to thank Gothamist Jake and Gothamist Jen for wasting their ivy league educations on publishing and editing pointless rehashes of stories in the local......

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...

Hallo there! Greetings again from the Essefficist. While it may be that the Essefficist's identitity is shrouded in many things, surely mystery is not one of them. We're easy to track down and happy to hear from you. So why haven't you called? Whaaahh! How pathetic must we sound, how low must we go, how deep is your love? Surely you can send us a question or two without us having to harass you twice......

summary of the Bay Area weekly papers (Guardian, SF Weekly, EBExpress and the Metro)....

Once again EssEffist brings you a local blogger for your enjoyment. Today's blog, Adventures in Urban Living, is written by one Jamison who EssEffist met at the SixApart mixer last week. He was nice enough to point out that while he has a number of nice photographs on his site, we had incorrectly categorized him as a photoblogger. It's been fixed, bro!...

roundup of the local weeklies....

Summary of the this week in the Bay Guardian and SF Weekly....