The woman who sent KGO radio host Bernie Ward's career and reputation into freefall is thirty-three-year-old mother of three Linda Figueiredo. She also goes by the online moniker "Sexfairy," or more intimately, "Mistress". Ward and Figueiredo developed an online relationship in 2004, which hit a pocket of turbulence after Ward sent his "Mistress" some juicy yet hardly-legal child pornography. Dan Noyes refreshes out memory thusly: ...it’s clear Ward and Figueiredo already had a relationship......

As many of you know, Bernie Ward, former Catholic priest and KGO 810 AM host, was fired from his job after the Feds hit him with charges of child pornography. Although he used the Pete Townsend defense that he was merely doing a little kiddie porn research, that doesn't seem to be the case. Dan Noyes, who takes on the difficult task of having to do an investigatory report on a former colleague, says......

Your Black Muslim Bakery women treated like "slaves." (Hot fish sandwiches don't make themselves, ladies.) [Oakland Tribune]Dan Noyes sticks it to Muni again, and not in a good way. Be sure to check it out. [ABC7]Well. Somebody thinks they're too good to shoplift. [Spotswood]Free Jameth! He turned into a reform school girl over the weekend. [Nature abhors a vacuum]How many real estate agents does it take to post an ad on Craigslist? [Curbed]TED, a......

Local-TV Tivo alert! We've got some exciting news about everyone's favorite concerned local investigative reporter, Dan "My Rumpled Tie Says No But My Piercing Gaze Says Yes" Noyes. The next installment of his long-running Muni investigation airs tonight at 6pm on ABC-7, and it sounds like it's going to be awesome: after spending months pouring through Muni's complaint records (while simultaneously fighting off the drivers' union), Dan's I-Team has the goods on Muni's most......

Former Catholic priest and KGO 810 AM host Bernie Ward was finally fired, ending his working relationship with the station. This stems from last year's federal indictment of child pornography charges that befell the (now former) host of "the Bernie Ward Show" and "Godtalk." He was officially let go, it seems, at the end of 2007. According to Dan Noyes at KGO, Ward admitted to "downloading images from the internet and trading them with......

Oh my God, you guys, no way. Get this: the New York Post was wrong. What's next: Intelligent Design? Celebrity weddings? Our meth-induced epiphanies that the CIA, in cahoots with the Norteños, are reading our emails and listening in on our phone calls? See, it seems that "[n]o slingshots have been found" and that the NY Post was wrong. And we refuse to believe anything Rupert Murdoch-related is less than perfect. Thankfully, according to......

For reasons better left unsaid (and in the name of tasteful censorship), we here at SFist are enjoying ABC 7 Dan Noyes' new publicity shot. Very much so. (Even better than the old one, yes? Yes.)......

Say it ain't so, Bernie! Wow. Former Catholic priest and SF radio talk show host has been "indicted on federal child pornography charges," according to the Chronicle. It seems that the popular KGO 810 AM host turned himself in to authorities earlier today. Although the "specifics of the allegations against him are under seal," said the authorities, we're dying to know exactly what happened. Because: whoa. Like, really. In addition to being a reporter......

-- Oh dead God: "Hearts in San Francisco" returns. Sweet cuddly baby Jesus, help us all. [Curbed SF] -- Prop A passed. And? [BeyondChron] -- Siamese Conjoined twins separated. Pft. Please. Wake us up when they sprout eight limbs. [Chron] -- More Dan Noyes! [The Snitch] -- BRT and subways in Beijing, China. (Have you ever seen a cleaner subway in your entire life? Sob.) [N-Judah Chronicles] -- Crab season hurt? Boo! Tourist season......

This one goes out to all of you octogenarians out there who still receive print papers at your door every morning. You know how you notify the Chronicle to temporarily halt having the paper sent to your house? You know, before you go on vacation? That way burglars won't see piled up papers and break into your house and steal all of your diamonds and rubies you had since the war between the states?......

We stuck it in Day Around The Bay already, but thought we would let you hash it out here in its own pad, readers. It seems that, according to the preciousness that is Dan Noyes, "the Silent Drill Platoon of the U.S. Marine Corps wasn't allowed to be filmed Sept. 11 on California Street in San Francisco for a segment of its new advertising campaign." Stefanie Coyote, executive director of the San Francisco Film......

-- San Mateo Bridge shuts down, then opens. Ta-da. [Examiner] -- Dan Noyes on Jerry Lucas, the sanity-estranged man who followed a then-pregnant Jill Rabinowitz into her garage, severely beating her with a can of paint. He might soon get sprung from the funny farm. [ABC7] -- Streets such as "Van Ness Avenue, Broadway...Harrison Street" and more could turn into toll roads under a proposed city plan to ease traffic congestion. [Chron] -- Viggo......

You think Gavin means it when he tells Ken Garcia that it's kind of freaking him out that no one's running against him? Well, there's one more down: ABC 7's Dan Noyes has the scoop that Tony Hall has dropped out of the race too. Hall was the one unambiguously-serious mayoral candidate running against Gavin Newsom (and by "unambiguously-serious" we mean was a wedding singer but does not have an animal in his name and......

KGO7's Dan Noyes has it that cocaine-and-booze-free Ruby Tourk has already written two chapters of a hopefully-soon-to-be-published self-help book, which will detail her “‘hitting rock bottom with Newsom after 20 years of alcoholism and coke use.’” As you remember, while married to Gavin Newsom’s former campaign manager and best buddy, Alex Tourk, Ruby was also Newsom’s party pit-stop for a spell. (And there’s the most darling Facebook picture of her tapping away at her......

The dapper and dreamily salt-and-pepper Dan Noyes recently culled 911 calls, dispatch tapes, and police and fire departments radio traffic surrounding last year's failed rescue attempt of 27-year-old Nick Torrico. High atop a Nob Hill building, Torrico plunged to his death one sunny afternoon. Apparently, Vic Wyrsch, a fire fighter from Station One, in an appropriate fit of heroism, grabbed Torrico to save him from the ledge. When a struggled occurred, Torric fell and......

Ed Jew alert! Friend-of-SFist Dan N. (or, if you like, D. Noyes) alerts us to a brand spanking new Ed Jew interview on the I-Team's website! Oh, faithful I-Team. Here's the juicy bit: Ed Jew: "I do reside there, yes." ABC7's Dan Noyes: "You do now, but did you at that point in time?" Ed Jew: "I do reside there." ABC7's Dan Noyes: "Now, but did you before, when you signed up to be a......

There was an early-morning explosion just before 7 a.m. in an apartment building on Mission Street near Geneva, in the Ingleside Excelsior neighborhood. The explosion blew out the windows of the dry-cleaning business located on the bottom floor, spraying glass all over Mission Street. The authorities are still investigating but note that they've been called to that address for drug-related activities before. And to tie this all to two other hot topics at SFist: 1)......

How can this be true, I-Team? It must be impossible. That's the only explanation. Do you really expect us to believe that in the past five years, out of the thousands of bike-car collisions in the Yay Area, sixty percent were caused by the bicyclists? That's preposterous! Everyone knows that bicycles are incapable of driving unsafely. Just like how black people can't be racist. Dan Noyes, head inspector at the I-Team and blogosphere crush......

--Meet Tapioca Ed's "consultant" friend. --They're raising water rates in the city. Guess who doesn't care about that? --The Macarthur Maze is set to reopen tomorrow. --15 goats (used to reduce fire risk) were shot in the Oakland Hills. A reward is being offered for information. --There's fallout from the Santa Clara DA's decision not to prosecute a group of DeAnza students for a possible attempted gang rape. --More information about the woman who died......

Sherman, set the way-back machine to when the Cops Gone Wild video came out. Seems like the issue has reared it's ugly head again and another twist in the story has appeared. Dan Noyes is reporting that for some strange reason, out of all the cops who got in trouble for appearing in it, none of the Asian cops who appeared got in trouble. And by none, we mean nada, zilch, zip, As a result, say hello to a $20 million dollar lawsuit. ...

--Our sources report that only like four non-media people showed up for the anti-Jerry Falwell protest (picture above, and two more pictures after the jump). --Chris Daly called Newsom campaign manager Eric Jaye an asshole. That's very mayoral of Daly. --A bunch of assaults in San Francisco, and an SFSU student drops dead on campus. Also, a dead body found on Baker Beach. --Keenen Ivory Wayans pitches a film studio in West Oakland. --Ken......

Guess who's back talking about MUNI for the ABC 7 I-Team?????? (4:33 on the video). Since Gavin hasn't done anything outrageous lately, Dan Noyes turns his attention to the perennial favorite of complaining about MUNI -- this time discovering the name of the driver who's gotten the most citizen complaints (for ignoring a beating at the back of the bus, refusing to call the police on pickpockets, and swearing at passengers, to name a few.)......

We found this vintage clip of our favorite hellraiser/Facebook Friend, Dan Noyes, dropping the F-bomb. We're not sure why the dude holding the yellow sign in the background thinks KGO is "bad news," but the rest of the video is priceless. ...

You could tell Mayor Gavin Newsom came in expecting the full costumed brigade this morning at Fourth Fake Question Time-- we definitely saw Gavin flinch when SFist Elaine saw him coming into the Excelsior Boys and Girls Club right at 2 p.m.. this morning and shouted out, "Holler!" -- but it was as chicken-free as a lunch at Cafe Gratitude, for the latest installment of Gavin Newsom's town hall meeting, this one on the......

It's the third annual San Francisco Notable Portrait Auction, to benefit Creativity Explored! We love this event. Creativity Explored is dedicated to promoting works by local developmentally disabled artists, and they invite a group of local celebs to sit for portraits by their artists, and then auction them off with the celebs in attendance. Jonathan Richman (!!!!) will also be playing. The event is this Thursday, April 12 at 111 Minna, and you can......

Matt Gonzalez: "I'm sorry, SFist Elaine, but I've gotta run." SFist Elaine: "We've only been dating for five minutes, and you're already breaking up with me?" Matt Gonzalez: "No, I just can't stand how Luke Thomas is always crashing our dates." Luke Thomas: "She's mine, Matt!"...

We gotta say, we got chills watching this video. Entitled "Walkaway Mayor," GavinWatch has compiled a collection of all the times a certain city official refuses to answer direct questions from the press. (And it's not just when Dan Noyes is talking too!) Given that Gavin doesn't do press conferences where he actually takes any questions either, what's the reason for ignoring the questions he doesn't like? GavinWatch posits two theories: either the mayor's......

Update: When we originally called this post "Gavin's Rubber, We're Glue," we didn't mean THAT kind of rubber. How the hell did we miss this? Check out the first few seconds of anti-Gavin gumshoe Dan Noyes's ABC 7 video -- what the heck's Gavin doing with that Channel 2 mike? Thanks to a faithful reader (and you commenters!) who pointed it out, via the Drudge Report (which labels it: "CAUGHT ON TAPE: SF MAYOR SIMULATES......

We were very busy running errands dowtown this morning, when we spotted a silver fox coming our way. "Damn, who that?" we said to ourselves, "Thank gawd we're wearing our cute new purple dress, and that our haircut is lookin' all sorts of fierce." ...

Our feelings regarding the sneaky scheduling of Gavin Newsom’s Third Fake Question Time this Monday can best be expressed through American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee’s latest single, “Over It.” The purple halter dress she wears in this video is pretty cute, too. However, just because we're over it doesn't mean we're not secretly putting together a special Fake Question Time ensemble in the hopes of running into some chick dating some dude (not to......