...because SFist Rita can't! OK, last week's winner was the Guardian. It's their 39th anniversary, and we're talking about housing in the city. Cover story: characterless and expensive condos on the East side. The Warfield sues the Weekly, claiming, among other things, that a Bill Graham staffer threateded to "f**k up" the Warfield. (SFist f**ks stuff up all the time, where's our cool lawsuit?). Oakdale projects are unbelievably squalid. Third Street light rail will......

Last week's winner, the "locally owned and operated since 1966" Bay Guardian. The Guardian buys out a full-page ad in its own newspaper about the SF Weekly! We love the CLEAR CHANNEL = BUSH, CLEAR CHANNEL = SF WEEKLY thing. The transitive property rules. Everyone's favorite topic, community-choice aggregation of public power. Cover article: A dude who pretended to be a bank. More toilet humor by Dan Leone, and veggie banh mi reviews. SF Jewish Film Fest and an interview with Gus Van Sant (not online). Next up, the SF Weekly -- oh, sorry, we meant to say: the "Clear Channel Spawn of Satan not-authentically-SF" Weekly, our bad. Dog Bites makes fun of the first version of the previously-mentioned ad Bruce Brugman emailed to them, about the Bay "Guard-AIN." Also, a frighteningly-well-designed response (.pdf). Duelling cover articles: fake social security cards and local band the Herms. Also, their club columnist gets into Otis, using nothing more than SF Weekly (sorry, we meant to say "running-dog imperialistic not-authentically-SF Weekly") business cards. We totally need to print out our SFist business cards. The evil scum-sucking not-authentically-SF New Times affiliate East Bay Express and the much-missed voice of reason through all of this alterna-media on alterna-media violence, the SJ Metro, after the jump. Plus, the pick of the week! ...

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly: The Infiltrator goes to the Writing Annex. Oh, Dog Bites -- kicking the Guardian when it's down about the Weekly getting the Warfield named after itself! The fake branded SFBGs are hilar (The "SFBG Hetch Hetchy" is pictured at right). The randy headlines about Badlines are an extra bonus! ("Can Gays Beat Off Bias Claim"'s the best one we can get away with posting.) Cover article: Why does ESPN's Joe Morgan hate the A's Moneyball? SFist Jake, your thoughts? OK Then loves Built to Spill. And Savage Love: pro-choicers dating pro-lifers. Next up, the Hetch Hetchy Bay Guardian! Why haven't the cops caught the people who killed the elderly man in the bathroom of Macy's? (Dude, they know who did it!) Techsploitation about data-hoarding and Grokster. The sex columnist is angry-angry-angry about the female ejaculation debate. Um.... whoa! Dan Leone writes about his 36-inch turd Before you ask: he had a cup of coffee and Indian food the night before. Mad props for the title ("The Longest Yard") and the food covered (pupusas). Cover articles: Bay Area hip-hop, Brazilian post-punk, Swedish psych-prog, and other adjective hyphen-hyphen musical phenomena. The EBX and the pick of the week, after the jump....

We continue and conclude our interview with Dan Leone, San Francisco icon and food writer extraordinaire at the Guardian. If you haven't read it yet, Part I is here. Part II is where we ask our fav food reviewer about food. And the butter song. Since Last Tango we have been oddly fascinated with butter, so you know we had to ask. And we were not disappointed, oh no. Butter my brother, mmmm... Any......

We have been jumping up and down since one of our favorite food writers, heck, our favorite one, Dan Leone, Cheap Eats Guy at the Guardian agreed to do an interview with Gastronomique. Disclosure: we are total fan. We have read him punctually every Wednesday since, like, 1998 and time and again, even though we knew he was going to order the chicken and eschew the mayo, he has surprised us with his goofy-yet-poetic......

Last week's winner. the SF Weekly. Yikes, a free AOL cd fell out of our weekly! Throw it away. Hey, a letter about Mission Housing from one of our commenters, Jim Ausman! Moving up into print media, Jim, we like it! Cover article: one of those SF Weekly Card Games (tm), this time for baseball. We do not have time in this life to read Meredith Brody's thoughts on Cuba, but the other food columnist has a dandy time ordering lots of different dumplings at the Shanghai Dumpling Shop. Nate throws a good party and the Bravery is already overhyped. New Hot Band Stars! (Canada: the new Seattle!) And Savage Love: people who send out mixed signals. The Guardian: Does Susan Leal love public power now? A seven point test. Dufty and Alioto-Pier take on the Chris Daly TIC machine -- fight! fight! Trying to reduce the murder rate in the city. Cover article: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you (9/11 edition). Annalee Newitz has a good time at the emerging technology conference. Dan Leone makes no fricken sense yet again. New Hot Band Stars! (Canada: The New Seattle!) And Kim Chun has a good time at SXSW. No EBXs made it to our usual pickup point this week, but we have the Metro and the Weekly of the Week after the jump....

Last week's winn-ah, the Guardian: Hey! We got name-checked in Annalee Newitz's Techsploitation column, as a blog unfairly characterized as B-List! Thanks, Annalee! We are totally unappreciated! (and shucks, we're awful flattered to be considered even on a B-List -- we've always thought of ourselves as on the Academic Probation list, the one where if you get another C-, you get kicked out of school). Mood-lifting! In other news, there's an interview with Mayor Newsom (MUNI is all your fault for not voting to raise taxes in November, you ungrateful wretch. Cover article: Nonprofits misusing city funds. Dan Leone argues with his mother about whether he needs to shave his legs to look feminine. Lots of Asian-Am film fest coverage, and Kim Chun's going to see Sorceress of the New Piano, just like us!) The San Jose Metro: It's the Metro's 20th anniversary! Congrats! (Who knew the traditional 20th anniversary gift is china? We love the Metro but we're not buying it china, sorry.) And look -- here we are in the Annalee Newitz column again. Annalee! We heart you! San Jose: up and coming city! Remember how crazy it was back when tech was big? Reggaeton diva Ivy Queen. And the Straight Dope on how if you jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, hitting the water is like hitting concrete. Much less romantic. The EBX, the Weekly, and the Weekly of the Week, after the jump....

...to see if any of our fellow SFist correspondents are mentioned! The Guardian takes the coveted top spot for last week's triumphant Weekly of the Week win. Local politics corner: Kaiser doesn't properly clean the scopes they use to probe your large intestine. You know, it's never good to see the phrase "large intestine" in print. Cover article: It's really, really bad over there in Iraq. The food critic has a horrible meal at Tallulah. Dan Leone enjoys Little Star pizzeria in the Western Addition. An article about that photography show with porn stars clothed and unclothed. Yipes, Jenna Jameson's nipples! Sonic Reducer loves her some San Francisco classic rockers, and the book section (which we skipped). .....And they're back, and on the front page, even, to make it up for them that we haven't been able to get copies for awhile: the San Jose Metro! Sorry, guys. The Biter column notes the phenomenon of an SF dive bar group's annual drunken Caltrain pilgrimage to San Jose. A man who killed himself over spam. Cover article: It's really, really bad over there in Sumatra. Hey, Fatlip (the guy that Ludacris beats up in his new Spike Jonze video Get Back) is playing in Cupertino on Friday. The Weekly (featuring a cameo by our own SFist Cheshire!!! We can't believe he didn't even tell us he had a movie in a film fest last week!), the East Bay Express, and the Weekly of the Week, all after these commercial messages....

We'd like to take the time to thank everyone who bothered to read the Culinary Digest. But it's time has come -- we're retiring the digest while there's still some money left in Social Security. We're also tired of thinking up new and interesting ways of making fun of Meredith Brody, the fact that the Food section of the Chronicle is the best part of the paper depresses us and we think you've gotten the......

Meredith Brody takes a couple of reader tips (oh boy, there are sure a few tips we'd like to give her), highlighting two relatively new but little known sushi joints, Oz and Amasia Hide's Sushi Bar. Both sound pretty good, but we'd still rather spend our money on the kaiseki omikase at Minako any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Bonnie Wach waxes poetic over the Park Chalet, although a little EssEff......

Dan Leone hits us right in the gut with Giordano Bros. -- we're not familiar with the Pittsburgh all-in-one like they serve at Primanti Brothers. We'd have to defer to Mr. Kavanagh on that one. But the idea of stuffing the french fries into the sandwich appeals to us on so many levels that Giordano Bros. seems an inevitability, especially if they stayed open just a little later. The other Guardian foodie, Paul Reidinger, hits......

The Weekly went entirely veggie. We think that shooting capitalist pig-dogs is probably better for civilization than not shooting animals, but whatever floats your boat. Meredith Brody opts for the temple of EssEff veggie gourmets, Greens, while Bonnie Wach visits the now review-saturated Urban Forage (SFist was there months ago). Jonathan Kauffman braves the East Bay stroller scene at Pizza Antica in Lafayette in order to stalk the elusive Brussels sprout salad of Gordon Drysdale.......

Congratulations to our Westside Organics contest winner Niall K., who managed to score himself three deliveries of fresh produce by getting back to us within, oh, thirty minutes or so of the post going up. We should have made the questions harder! Live and learn. Thanks to everyone who entered -- we're sure you'll get some free stuff from us eventually. In the Guardian, Dan Leone thanks everyone for their support through his recent troubles......

We'd like to take credit for the resurgence of the Bay Guardian's food coverage, but we have no idea if they even read us. Dan Leone explains his complicated situation and kind of harshes on Chicago deep-dish by way of Pizzeria SFO, which we can appreciate (sorry, Chicagoist). Paul Reidinger explores the red-statish nature of Cuban cuisine at Los Flamingos, and otherwise reminds us why we like him. Martha of the Mission makes a......

...and it's the special silver linings edition! We're mixing up the format a little and starting off with the East Bay Express. Why not? Bottom Feeder reports on a fight in a Contra Costa condo complex where one person tore out someone else's topiary duck. So Method and Red. Gay couples aren't sorry they demanded equal rights. Cover article: Julia Butterfly Hill (the chick who lived in a tree for two years) started her own......

We know he gets a bad rap, but we love Martin Yan. It's so easy! Look at this! The Chron pays for a meal to get the interview, and it doesn't bother us one bit. GraceAnn Walden totally bites Doyle, leading with troubles at Michael Mina. Been reading SFist lately, GraceAnn? Also, enough caucasians have discovered pho (pha? phur? phuh?) to warrant an introduction by the Chron. SFist has been curing hangovers and colds with......

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...

Weekly recap of the foodie scene....

Weekly recap of food writing....

Week in food literature review....

...because we love the smell of cheap newsprint! This week in the Weekly -- new column: The Infiltrator, who does things you always wondered about, such as being interviewed by SFist. This week, the Infiltrator wreaks havoc in an office executive etiquette class. Okay, this column is pretty genius; here's the link. Long Matt Smith column about Hetch Hetchy. Cover article: Franz Ferdinand (looking like the Amish in the City Amish kids on the cover)......

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...

Because three papers is a total waste....

Hallo there! Greetings again from the Essefficist. While it may be that the Essefficist's identitity is shrouded in many things, surely mystery is not one of them. We're easy to track down and happy to hear from you. So why haven't you called? Whaaahh! How pathetic must we sound, how low must we go, how deep is your love? Surely you can send us a question or two without us having to harass you twice......

Avoiding messy spills for yet another week....

We do the reading so you can concentrate on eating. Gerald Hirigoyen is at it again, adding Bocadillo to his empire of French Basque eateries here in The City - coverage by Paul Reidinger. Dan Leone is a sucker for a willing audience and a cheap sandwich. Masha Gutkin interviews Gordon Edgar, Rainbow Grocery fromagiere, on the occassion the annual American Cheese Society conference in beautiful Milwaukee. The Chron goes gaga over one of EssEffist's favorites, potato salad. That's right, it's tuber time - run out and get some heirloom fingerlings while their jackets are still soft. Marlena Spieler trades shoes with her husband after a long day touring Versailles. The Chron cooking school moves to the Ferry Building. The coverage in the Weekly is so thin today, we've included their corporate sister the East Bay Express in the mix. Meredith Brody takes vegetarians to El Raigon and orders sweetbreads. In the Express, Jonathan Kauffman discovers Pho Ga at Huong Que on International Boulevard. For the picky pooch, he recommends Christine Johnson's veggie dog biscuits from Barks Bakery....

Atkins friendly with absolutely zero carbs....

Soul food options just haven't been the same since Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles closed up shop in Oakland a couple of years ago. The bay area offshoot of the L.A. institution was first located on Broadway near Jack London, then moved to Grand Avenue, then disappeared altogether. Since then, the only Roscoe Oaklanders could get their hands on was the of the first season of "The Dukes of Hazzard."...

Once again, we bring you the latest culinary buzz from around the city, completely free of escort service advertisements....

Herb Caen, SFist's idol and mentor, called us (in a play on President Taft's quote) "The City that Knows Chow." And how. In San Francisco most of the food press arrives on SFist's doorstep on Wednesday. The Chron, The Weekly, The Bay Guardian - first, second and third helpings of food in print. Why do we obsess? I'm not sure. But the eats around here are the best....