Oh lordy, but Mondays are going to be a crowded night of television. Let's go through tonight's premieres network-by-network, starting with ABC. America's inexplicable love for dancing continues with another season of "Dancing With the Stars" at 8 p.m. You can find a complete list of the "stars" who'll be hoofing along this time around on the show's Web site, but we'll admit, we don't really have a horse in this race. Although as far......

-In a surprise to no one, battle looms over free WiFi. We'd be more surprised if this thing ever happens. ...

Those season premieres are trickling in, with the big gusher arriving next week. We'll try to come to you daily next week with coverage and (hopefully) some actual reviews of pilots, but for this week we offer a slightly briefer rundown. "Monday Night Football" premieres on ESPN tonight, but if you're someone who watches football, you already know this, so that's all that needs to be said about that. This being the fifth anniversary......

Otherwise known as stories we missed while we were on vacation... -The last time we heard from Krissy Keefer, the Green candidate for Congress, she and some of her gal-pals were banging the Taiko drum and handing out cookies to celebrate her official entrance into the race. We maybe a little fuzzy on our American history, but we think Lincoln started that way too. Anyways, we hadn't heard from her since then but last week, she and her Merry Band of Dancers took part in a celebration of Fidel Castro's 80th birthday, which the San Francisco Sentinel described as a "spectacular evening ensemble of music, song, dance and poetry." Keefer's dance troupe performed and Keefer performed the monologue during the performance. You know, nothing says "striving for mainstream political acceptance" like staging dance performances to celebrate Fidel Castro. While it's not official, word has it that Keefer is in talks to take part in a new VH-1 reality show "Dancing With Dictators." It's not know yet who'll she be dancing with, but we here the Stacey Keibler/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad team will be pretty hard to beat. ...

Okay, we didn't watch Dancing With The Stars last night because we were watching ladies' figure skating, but we understand that the inevitable is about to come down on our local boy Jerry Rice. Manic two-steppin' Drew Lachey scored two perfect 30s, and languid Barbie doll Stacey Keibler came in second with a 30 and a 26. Jerry came in third with a 26 and a 27. So all three couples will go into the final dance-off on Sunday, and, well, let's face it, Jerry's just not as good as Drew and Stacey. (We're pulling for Drew to win, because that guy should get something after having to put up with former sister-in-law Jessica's incessant jawboning on camera all those years.) But darn it, we like Jerry's spunky spirit! He's worked so hard, and he has such a good attitude. It's sort of nice to see someone who doesn't have as much native dance ability as everyone else on the stage out there, doing it, and having fun. He's the character that you the viewer are supposed to identify with (unless, of course, you're some kind of super Metronome Ballroom teacher or something, in which case you're probably like, this show sucks.). So go number 80! We've got your back! Though we should also say we kind of miss Master P, who was the exact opposite of Jerry Rice in this competition (terrible dancer, totally phoning it in), just to see his dismayed look every week he managed to avoid elimination. Picture of Jerry and his partner Anna from ABC, off the Merc News...

We really got a kick out of reading everyone's TiVo (or plain old TV) top tens last week. The presence of "Lost" and "Arrested Development" on many of the lists was pleasing, while the avid devotion to "Dancing With the Stars" continues to perplex some of us at SFist. Perhaps we'll tune in to Fox's rip-off "Skating with Celebrities" next week instead, as it seems to have even more comedic potential (Todd Bridges on......