We write these words to you while curled up in the fetal position from inside a panic room buried miles beneath the Earth's surface. This weekend, you see, San Francisco will be riddled with events. Many events. Dangerous events. Events that will bring countless people with questionable tastes and attire into precious Baghdad by the Bay. All we can do is hope for the best. And pray. Pray for sunlight come Monday morning. Next up? The Giants and the 49ers.

On Sunday, scores of football fans will bombard public transportation and city streets with drunken merriment and garish red-white color combinations. The Niners take on the Bills at 1:25 p.m. Sunday. Beware. But be happy. The Niners are doing well.

On Saturday and Sunday, your San Francisco Giants take on the Reds in their first postseason games at AT&T Park. Dusty Baker will make a return, so that should be fun. Also, the games starts at 6:37 p.m. on Saturday and at noon time TBA on Sunday. (For those of you sans tickets, you can always watch the game from Public House or Mijita. Which we strongly suggest. We watched the entire 2010 World Series from Mijita. It was magical.) Needless to say, Mission Bay and Eastern SoMa will be packed.

Previously: Everything's Happening This Weekend: Hardly Strictly Castro Cup
Everything's Happening This Weekend: Fleet Week, Food Trucks

We love Gridskipper's edge as of late. Take, for example, today's revealing top 8 San Francisco bars with the "crappiest crowds." Rankings 8, 7, 6, and 5 are Beauty Bar, Medjool, Swig, and R Bar, respectively.

In all fairness, you need to visit good ol' Gridie to find out just who made the top four. (Also, regarding the number-one spot, we've never visited the sorta chic spot but have heard mixed reviews. Is it really that bad, clientele-wise? Jesus. We remove ourselves from the nightlife scene for a scant four months, and our scenester knowledge is shot to hell. Sad.)

We can't think of any local establishments' crowds that deserve our scorn. On the contrary, the scenes at such venues as Michael Gouddou's Gallery Lounge and Da Da, the newly relocated Metro in the Castro, and the bar at the St. Regis have won us over tenfold. (Really, all excellent choices for drinking and chatting as far as we're concerned.) Oddly enough, we here at SFist cannot think of one particular bar crowd to bitch about. Frightening.

This is where you, dear readers, come in: any thoughts? Just where will you never step foot in again because of the scene?