Well, we put little lines next to "Jesus," you bitch. Oh, gosh, excuse us. Sorry. We just heard the unholy tale of Jean's cement Jesus statue, or lack thereof, and we're livid. Our Lord, it seems, is being held hostage. Why? Because Jean won't take care of her "poopies" or "weiners" [sic] -- at least according to the CNN reporter, doing his best to make it on Best Week Ever or the Daily Show.......

Yesterday, David Hazinski attempted to harness the awesome power of the world wide web with this colonel of wisdom about the currant state of journalism. In his op-ed peace for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, he informs us that such journalistic mediums as CNN YouTube debates, political blogs, and cellphone videos are, in a word, crap. At least when it comes to giving and receiving accurate, Pulitzer-worthy information. Granite, the only time we here at SFist......

Update: Sen. Barack Obama's campaign office in Rochester and John Edwards' offices have also been evacuated. Our sister site, Bostonist is live-blogging the situation right now. Apparently, a man wants to "speak to Hillary Clinton. He has two hostages (maybe more) and [allegedly has] a bomb strapped to his chest ... police have asked the media not to take live shots of the building." Yikes. A little bit of breaking news well outside of......

Growing up west of (the) 5 freeway, the heavy metal sound fo the '80s escaped us. But while vacationing in the far off land of Riverside County during the holidays as a wee tyke, we would listen to our cousins' heavy metal tapes with envy and detached amusement. This was one of the songs we enjoyed most, Quiet Riot's "Cum on Feel the Noize." Sadly, their lead signer, Kevin Dubrow, 52, was found dead......

In Los Angeles, LAist most definitely celebrated Thanksgiving like no other. After all, one has to keep up all the energy to keep on walking the line at the Writers Strike and fighting the unfortunate return of the wildfires in Malibu, which single handedly destroyed over fifty homes within the first 24 hours. National outlets may be covering the fires, but CNN also found it is easier to buy a gun than fruit and......

Got a second? Good! Because we want to thank the advertisers on SFist this week: CNN.com, who has a surprising amount of video on their site (including one of a couple with sextuplets). Cazadores, because after a long week, we could surely use some...or a lot. KQED, which is the Bay Area's home for independent films (so we read). Fierce People, in fine theaters now! Arcade Fire with LCD Soundsystem are playing next Friday at......

A lot fewer people activated their iPhones than expected. Apple stock drops about 5% on the news. That guy who started Netscape just sold his new company to HP for $1.6 billion in cash. He gets $138 million of it. The company he just sold (Opsware, originally LoudCloud) makes software for servers. They're coming out with a cheaper high-def TiVo. Everyone's abuzz about those YouTube/CNN debates last night. Is the power still out at Craigslist/Six......

In the spirit of the plastic bag ban we thought we'd weigh in with some of our own suggestions. We think CNN's Glenn Beck needs a new dress. Maybe when he sends all the plastic bags he's so sweetly collecting for San Francisco we can knit him one. The Craft blog always has what we're looking for and that's where we saw this amazing 1950's dress knit completely out of plastic grocery bags, wouldn't it just be darling on Beck? The dress was made by Cathy Kasdan, she created it for her thesis project and we encourage you to read her explanation of it on the Craft blog. Craft also has links to some fantastic tuturials on how to make yarn out of plastic bags you can read about them here and here. You can also read a great tuturial on how to crochet with plastic bags over at Craft Central . And because the things people have created out of plastic bags are so impressive (and we're still a little jet lagged from our trip back east) we thought we'd stop typing and just give you some pictures of what we found. . . ...

Noted wit and CNN's suck up to conservatives, Glenn Beck is highly amused by our paper bag ban. Because making fun of helping the environment is funny, see. Maybe not Karl Rove dancing funny (have you seen the video yet? The whole thing is so scary we wished we were blind), but almost as funny. So he's got something going on to punk us here in San Francisco for being nothing but a bunch of smelly, tree hugging hippies who want to help baby seals from choking on plastic bags. ...

Last week, the Washington "Moonie" Times wrote a story saying that, in effect, that Nancy Pelosi requested that the Air Force provide her flights to and from Washington whenever she actually deigns to come home to the City by the Bay. The story is potentially embarrassing to Pelosi as it plays on the caricature of her being shrewish bitch who requests military planes while our brave sons and daughters are dying to fight the war on terror even though Iraq has nothing to do with it and even Republicans wish the war would end but they're still going to stop non-binding resolutions to stop it. Or something like that. As these things tend to happen, the story got out into the Republican echo chamber and you know what happens whenever that occurs-- the press has to cover it like it's an important story. Also, so called blabber mouths in politics and cable news spout it off like it's the unbridled truth without actually investigating it. ...

Or do you also think it's in poor taste for CNN to send Rick "Taser Me" Sanchez into the Rocky Mountains on tonight's Anderson Cooper 360, so he can: find out what it is really like to be in the kinds of unbelievable conditions James [Kim] and his family faced -- the freezing cold, the snow, the wilderness. (poorly cropped) picture of Rick Sanchez getting Tasered on CNN, off a YouTube clip from the......

Money Magazine has published its annual list of "Best places to live" in these here United States, with the highest ranking Bay Area city coming at number 31. While we've never visited the winning city of Fort Collins, Colorado, we have read that Thomas Frank book, and we're highly skeptical that Overland Park, Kansas (#6) is somewhere we'd like to call home. And weather wimps that we are, Boise, Idaho (#8) and Eden Prairie, Minnesota......

We raced out of a meeting at work and ran to our desk to listen to the start of tonight's Giants' game on MLB audio. Down 2-1 and at the top of the fifth, we hopped into our car and listened as the Giants took the lead and somehow managed to escape an inning in which the first two Nats hitters got on base and were then bunted into scoring position (something which almost caused us to crash our car as we were too busy slamming our fist on the dash board in celebration to notice all the traffic around us.) Finally, we got to the gym just in time for the bottom of the ninth, hopped onto a machine right in front of the TV, cranked "Freebird" on the trusty iPod, and then watched in horror as ARMANDO BENITEZ BLEW YET ANOTHER SAVE....

A super-secret SFist tipster writes: I heard a rumor that Anderson Cooper was in town today, shooting a live show this evening. Can you substantiate this rumor? Please? While we here at SFist haven't heard jack about a Cooper visit, we're happy to guess! Maybe he's here declare his much speculated upon orientation at tonight's opening of the San Francisco LGBT Film Festival? OK, maybe we should stop guessing before we get a call from......

Geez, guys, isn't the first rule not to talk about it? CNN picks up an AP report about a chatty high-tech fight club in Menlo Park. The group ("Gentlemen's Fight Club") is by invite only, involves at least a dozen people, and the only protective gear they can wear are either a fencing mask or hockey mask. Weapons include pillowcases stuffed with soda cans, frying pans, and tennis rackets. It's so Dwight Schrute! There are......

We're on the Other Coast this week, ensconced with family for Pesach-- that yearly holiday that celebrates our people's release from bondage and their subsequent peaceful and uneventful existence, and even though we can barely find out how the Giants are doing, it's not so difficult to see the latest in Barry news. It's a perjury investigation, baby!...

We have got to program our TiVo DVR to get a season pass for CHRIS DALY -- we missed our favorite moonbat left wing District 6 Supervisor yakking it up about impeachment with "you're hurting America"'s own Tucker Carlson last night! Check out that picture of Tucker eating a ceremonial shoe when he was wrong about Hillary Clinton! Always makes us laugh. (but not as much as when Charles Barkley kissed a donkey ass after losing that bet about Yao Ming.) Good thing about the show: Daly did not say America could be defended by the Coast Guard. Bad thing about the show. Chris was rocking some sort of mountain-man unshaven look. Chris readily admitted that SF has no impact on whether Bush gets impeached, "absolutely not." But -- and you know we're always happy to mock Daly -- we have to say, he did a pretty good job defending his resolution. He noted that it cost no money to pass the resolution, that the tax revenues from San Francisco that went to the Iraq war total $800 million, and that San Francisco is right to be outraged about the way the presidency's been going.

CARLSON: There are Republican fundraisers sitting at home right now, taking notes on you, ready to raise more dough in direct mail pitches. DALY: That's beautiful. CARLSON: Congratulations. DALY: I'll take on their direct mail and square off on them and I'll beat them. And San Francisco will lead the country. And George Bush will go down as the worst president in American history.

Now that it's been revealed that the President was illegally eavesdropping on people and that his basic reaction was "suck on it," what was once the fevered acid flashback of a few hippies in Marin and Daily Kossacks is now suddenly going mainstream. The "I" word is out there and even if we're only talking about the equivalent of some unknown band suddenly generating a bit of a buzz and a faint whiff of interest from record execs, it's still generating some buzz. Maybe not the Strokes buzz, more Super Furry Animal Buzz, which is more buzz than it had before. Hopping on that buzz today is Barbara Boxer who sent a letter to four Presidential Scholars asking if they think what King George did rises to the merits of "impeachable offense."...

Advances in technology have permitted a slight change in the SFist Tech format: look for briefer Roundup articles on Friday, like this one. The more long-winded, dense and impenetrable posts you're used to seeing will happen throughout the week, focused on one topic at a time. Intel is jumping on the home media center bandwagon with its new VIIV technology, specifically aimed at creating media PCs. SFGate's take explains how Intel is having to......

Man, New York wins everything! According to a study by Runzheimer International and reported on today by CNN, San Francisco is the second-most expensive place to live in the US, second only to our pals in Manhattan. "The survey factored in local and state income taxes, costs associated with owning two cars (except in Manhattan )(Ed note: hahaha what?), public transportation costs, goods and services, sales taxes, and costs to own a 2,500 square......

Was anyone else a little unnerved to see that "major earthquake in San Francisco" is listed as the number 2 scenario for FEMA practice, right below "terrorist attack on New York" and right above "major hurricane hits New Orleans?" And you know with all our gays and minorities and blue-state progressivism, ain't no one from the federal government coming to save our butts when the Big One hits here! And remember when we all thought there was a tsunami coming but no one in SF checked the emergency fax machine until an hour after the original warning? We're screwed! So we set out this weekend to buy us an earthquake preparedness kit. We know, we could put it together ourselves, but it'd be so much nicer just to buy a ready-to-go set. Do you know how hard it is to find an earthquake preparedness kit in this city? Costco had none. Safeway had none. REI was closed. We didn't go to Target because of the boycott for their Schwarzenegger donations, but they probably didn't have one either. Home Depot told us that they had five "a while ago" but haven't restocked since. Where else would we go for a pre-packaged kit? Rainbow Grocery? Cole Hardware? They don't have anything either. So here's our thought: why doesn't City Hall sell pre-packaged earthquake prep kits? Annemarie Conroy's Office of Emergency Service could get 'em at cost, have the kits emblazoned with a cute "San Francisco's Prepared!" logo of some sort, and sell 'em at community centers across the city. It would beat having to turn on the TV and see San Franciscans sitting on the roofs of their houses, waiting for someone at CNN to film our HELP US PLZ signs, as the SFPD struggles to find the right radio frequency for communications. After the jump, where we ended up getting our prep kit, plus everything your prep kit should have in it....

Oooooh, your Junkie loves to vote. We vote for everything: national elections, state elections, local elections, CNN QuickPolls, the SFGate Question, BizRate surveys about our Priceline experiences, those "How'd We Do?" cards where you rank things on a scale of 1 to 5 -- we are all about letting your voice be heard! So of course we're totally psyched about the mock election the San Francisco Department of Elections is throwing! Get your franchised self down to the basement of City Hall on or before August 12 and help them test out their disability access polling machines! There's two types of touch screens, with breath-voting capability ("sip-puff" machines, they're called. Heh heh. Sip puff.), foot pedals, and audio aids. So what are you voting for? Well, keeping it nonpartisan, the Dept. of Elections has selected the categories of: best flower, best animal, and best San Francisco attraction. Aw, come on!! If you're voting in the Dept. of Elections mock election, you want to vote for something sexier than that! So.... in honor of the Dept. of Elections, SFist and your Political Junkie are rolling out our own mock election: Hottest SF Supervisor!!!!! Vote after the jump! ...

For the second time in as many weeks, our pals at Londonist have provided minute-by-minute reporting on what is presently being reported as another terrorist attack on London. Described as "not a major incident", as of 6:53 a.m. Pacific this morning, CNN is reporting that at least four small bombs have detonated on public transportation, resulting in at least one injury thus far. In terms of our local commute, the BART representative we spoke......

Whew, it's been such an eventful posting day that we've only just now gotten to the big political gossip news! According to PJ Corkery's Examiner column, remember when Kimmie and Gavin went out a few weeks ago to the Tosca? And Matt Gonzalez was there that night (scroll down) too? With Sean Penn? Well, someone (our bet is that it's Kimberly, since Kimberly talks to PJ all the time) told PJ that Matt went up to Gavin and noted how funny it was that new L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa beat James Hahn after being defeated by Hahn four years before. Gavin, swift as a hare, says, ".....are you running again, Matt?" Matt smiled, and walked away. Someone then reported that Kimberly then went up to Matt and said, OMG Matt, are you running? PJ concludes, "I think Matt was just giving them the mickey." Wait, wasn't it just the other day they were saying Matt was going to run for governor? Or the House of Representatives? But OMG, Matt, are you running??? Tell us!! We're totally more trustworthy than ol' Kimbers! And oh yeah, by the way -- today's the day the hyphen-Newsom gets officially detached from the name Kimberly Guilfoyle; Kim and Gav's divorce is final as of today. Let us know if you see Gavin staggering into any bars this weekend! Picture from CNN and the AP...

Spring is a time for love. The flowers bloom, the sun shines, and the little creatures copulate. Today brings us not one, but two reports from New York about the Gavster's ex, Kim-Kim. First, from the Post, which we'll just quote because, well, they're evil and they require registration now: Court TV's Kimberly Guilfoyle — who moved here in January after filing for divorce from her workaholic husband, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom —......

How anything the Gap Empire was up to escaped our attention is beyond us, but Chicagoist let us know that Gap, Inc. will be test marketing their Talbot, J. Jill and Lane Bryant competition with four stores in Chicago and one in New York. We're going to quote Chicagoist deconstructing a CNN Money article on this one: Forth & Towne is aiming for an audience of women who dress "appropriately" and who "need outfits......

We may have been a bit dubious about all of this, but it appears as though those rallies and e-mails to Sen. Barbara Boxer worked. Today, during a joint session of congress to certify the electoral vote count, Boxer, along with several other Democratic members of Congress, forced a debate on the results of the Ohio election. Each electoral vote was certified as per usual up until the Ohio votes were read and then Boxer......

First off, don't let the name of the program fool you. Dick Clark will NOT be hosting Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve this Friday. That privilege is going to Regis Philbin, and we think you already know how we feel about Regis. So skip it. Or go outside. Or go to sleep before midnight even strikes. Because New Year's Eve? Blows. In other news, this week TV offers up the inevitable "Year in......

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Softball article on Maureen Dowd....