So, according to the LA Times, Barack Obama spent his early college years smoking dope, listening to new wave music, and taking classes in Marxist theory and gender issues. In other words, can we vote for him yet? Just the thought that he could be the first President to have ever squatted down at the "down...down...down..." part of "Rock Lobster" makes us want to vote for him. We still, however, await the first presidential candidate who could quote from Snoop and Dre. ...

-Barry Z meets the press while Barry B is still unsigned. Scott Ostler is looking forward to the Z and B show and actually, he has a point-- the Giants are now lead by two people who are about as different as different could be. Over in Oakland, Monte Pool says flaky Barry Z could be a perfect fit for flaky SF ...

Suns 113, Warriors 110- And so endeth the Warriors six game winning streak and five game home winning streak. All this to the Suns, a run-n-gun basketball team that we have a feeling have influenced Mully and Nellie more than you'd like to know. High scoring basketball, catch it. The game was close, though, as the Suns won on a last second three pointer from former Santa Clara grad, Steve Nash. Monta Ellis led the way with 31 points for the Warriors....

USC 23- Cal 9: We honestly felt Cal would have no chance with USC as we figured Cal to be merely a "Good in the Pac 10" type team, the kind of team who could beat the Beavers but not the big guys. But Cal put up a fight and held 'SC close for three quarters before finally giving way to a superior Trojan team. They did have the lead at 9-6 at halftime but between stupid mistakes, turn overs, and some bad breaks, they couldn't do much against the Trojans in the second half, leading to the playing over and over again of that damn USC fight song. We hate that song. ...

Because you all love sports so much, we're doing a daily feature on the latest in sports. Warriors 117 Kings 105- What's gotten into the Warriors? They've won four in a row and scoring like Leo DiCaprio in his "P----- Posse" days. Leading the way is Baron Davis who is playing out of his head and playing out of his head a lot as Nelson is playing him almost the entire game every game. Considering Baron's off-and-on again relationship with the injured reserve, we're not sure how smart a move that is. Also playing every minute of every game this early in the season is maybe not a smart move either. Anyways, he lead the way with 36 points. ...

-Veterans Day celebrated with parades and a memorial featuring boots. -Scientists head up to the Sierras to try and track Global Warming. ...

-Arnie meets Angelides for a debate and nothing really exciting happens. We wanted to watch it, really, but we watched Friday night's "Battlestar Galactica" instead....

First, onto baseball: The Giants are now on a three-game roll after taking two from the Cubbies and beating the Reds in ten innings Monday. Your Black & Orange hero? Shea Hillenbrand who hit the game-winning home run in extra innings. That trade is suddenly looking less like a total disaster these days. Also of note, the heating up of Barry Bonds who hit numero 730 and has now hit five home runs in his past six starts. That gulp you're hearing is of pitchers in the NL, other teams in the Wild Card hunt, and officials at Major League Baseball now pondering the meaning of a so hot right now Barry. The Giants have now won 15 of 21 and are for the first time in a long while, .500. No, we're not going to go there as of yet but we're starting to disbelieve our disbelief. ...

Your Cal Bears are off to Vegas to play BYU in the Las Vegas Bowl. Fun, right? Enjoyment and excitement in America's gleeful den of inequity, right? Stuff that'd make shorthaired guys in visors and Abercrombie shirts go "WOOOOOOO!" with arms upraised, right? Well, yeah, in part. As pointed out by American Football Spectacular's religious consultant Ms. No, Mormons aren't supposed to gamble. Further, according to the BBC's write-up on Mormon ethical practices, "Gambling in......

Even though the Cal Bears romped on Southern Miss, 26-16, Saturday in a makeup game that was rescheduled after Hurrican Ivan delayed the original date, they will not be going to the Rose Bowl. That's right, the Texas Longhorns hooked the at-large bid thanks to gains in the press and coaches polls. Blame the BCS (BC-Mess, Broke-Ass Choosing System, Bears Can't Succeed, Because Coaches Suck, f**king piece of s**t, whatever you wan't to call......

In the most anticipated game of the season for Bay Area football fans, the Cal Bears manhandled the Stanford Cardinal, 41-6. J.J. Arrington put together yet another 100-yard game, but red-shirt freshman Marshawn Lynch stole the show, running for 122 yards -- including an electrifying 55-yard touchdown run -- and completing a 20-yard pass to for a score. Cal plays their makeup game on December 4th in Mississippi, but are otherwise at the mercy of......

It's been so long since the Raiders had a chance to gloat, some thought they might have forgotten how. Well, no worries, they returned to their arrogant selves quickly enough after their 27-24 win over Carolina yesterday. "Not to knock the Panthers, but they're not really a good team," said cornerback Charles Woodson, displaying the self-effacing humility the Raiders are known for. They take a week off to prepare for redemption against the Chargers. Jerry......

Weekly football recap....

Recap of the weekend's football action....

The Oakland Raiders manhandled the Buccaneers, beating them far more mercilessly than the 30-20 score would indicate. This was obviously a payback game for the humiliating loss they suffered at the hands of the Bucs in Super Bowl XXXVIII. The game was marked by moments both bitter and sweet - sweet to see longtime Raider Tim Brown catch his 100th touchdown in Oakland, bitter when former league MVP, Quarterback Rich Gannon, went down with a......

Special Tuesday afternoon edition. It's an exciting time for football fans, as the NFL preseason was wrapped up and the college season got off and running. In case you were busy at the beach, out of town or catching up on chores, EssEffist will be here to second guess coaches and players at the beginning of each week with a wrap-up of the weekend in pigskin. The much-hyped Cal Bears opened the season strong, rolling over Air Force 56 to 14. They're currently ranked 13th in the coaches poll and some early season wins could get them into the top ten in short order. EssEffist would like to point out that if you have to lose a game, Cal, lose it early - it's the end of season polls that count. Stanford, currently unranked, trounced the hapless San Jose State Spartans 43 to 3. Ouch. Turns out the Spartans lost six players to Academic decertification just one day before the game. EssEffist didn't even know that the Spartans were good enough to bother cheating. The 49ers managed to preserve their win-free preseason by losing to the Chargers 31-15 at home. If the 49ers were to move to LA (and, presumably, change their name), now would sure be the time to do it. They might have sullied their record with a win if two of three touchdown passes would have counted - instead, all three were discounted due to penalties, and EssEffist thinks the receivers coach wishes he still had T.O. around to blame. They gear up for the Falcons next Sunday. The Raiders squeaked past the Rams 28-24 over in Oakland, finishing the meaningless games at three and one, with all three of their quarterbacks making appearances. It looks like the starting job will go to Rich Gannon next Sunday in Pittsburg even though Kerry Collins has looked strong as a field leader....