Rant Chuck Palahniuck will be at sponsored by Booksmith tonight around 7 pm, reading from and signing his latest book, Rant, about a serial killer who's weapon of choice is...rabies. Booksmith, Park Branch Library, 1833 Page St., SF. Garden of Deadly Delights Head over to the Conservatory of Flowers to feast your eyes on a greenhouse full of carnivorous plants! Chomp! opens today and runs through Nov 4. The Red Party A socialist themed......

Dazzle yours senses with SFist tonight's picks... Music by the Eyeful The first of three concerts featuring inventions in visual audio, exploring the moving boundaries between music, film, optics, graphics, loops and reels. Guest curated by Suki O'Kane [www.myspace.com/sukiokane], musician and curator of The Illuminated Corridor, an outdoor cinema project in Oakland. Event starts at 8pm with a $6-$10 sliding scale. Luggage Store Gallery, 1007 Market Street, SF. Celebrity Chef Alert! Join Food Network's Tyler......

Let's Dance! Ever wanted to dabble in different styles of dance but wasn't sure you wanted to drop a pocketful of cash for fire dancing lessons? Now's your chance. We're right in the middle of Bay Area National Dance Week -- you can test your skill at belly dancing, hula, ballet, classical, tango and more in a series of free lessons this week, all over the city. Tonight's selection includes hip hop, capoeira, and poi.......

Theatrical Releases April 13th, 2007 We haven’t seen everything on the roster for this week but we have seen Hot Fuzz and we strongly suggest it. Hot Fuzz does for cop/buddy action films what Pegg, Wright and Frost’s Shaun of the Dead did for zombie films. Fuzz is every bit as researched and diligent as was Shaun. Afterwards you can hit the pub and discuss which you think is funnier. ...

April, the Last R-month before September is going full throttle and our gorging on Dungeness crab and oysters, combined with the approaching swimsuit season lead us to search for a regular form of exercise. Being slackers, we know that even with a $60 a month membership, once the first week is up, we'll only hit the gym when our water boiler blows. So after contemplating joining a cheaper out-of-town YMCA to visit the Presidio YMCA as a guest, our thrifty mind saw the light at the University of San Francisco Koret Health and Recreation Center. ...

Here's a piece on the A's Dan Haren...

So, we’ll admit that we are completely hooked on all sorts of herbal and homeopathic remedies. We wander down the aisles at Rainbow with awe. We love that tingly-clean feeling we imagine we feel when we splurge on a kombucha tea. We dream about detoxing out all of our sludge. ...

Here's a listing for tonight's events...

You already know about The Reaping, and Firehouse Dog and you’d have to live under a rock not to know about Grindhouse but there are two film events starting this week that you MUST NOT MISS. The first is part of PFA’s “Closely Watched Film” series. This week they’ve brought Thai legend Apichatpong Weerasethakul for Q&A after screenings of his films Tropical Malady (Friday) and Blissfully Yours (Saturday). He’s coming from Thailand! You can’t miss that! ...

This weekend we started our taxes, so we are now feeling particularly poor. In need of activities that that will suit our penny-pinching ways, while also distracting us from the cold hard reality of our financial state, we turn to Albany, a little town north of Berkeley. ...

Theatrical Releases March 30th, 2007 We’ve got some decent choices this week: if you’re in the mood for comedy, it’s all about Blades of Glory, if we have kids Meet the Robinsons (3-D at the Metreon) is better than you’d expect, but if you want something saucy it is all about Joseph Gordon-Levitt and that movie he’s in…The Lookout. I heard someone postulate it was like Brick 2: Outta College but I think that was......

There is a place not unlike the mythical elephant graveyard that brought Jane to Tarzan, where used kitchen utensils go to rest. Cookin', located on Divisadero between Oak and Page, enjoys all the romance of the fabled elephant burial ground, and boasts of as many hidden treasures...

Our favorite Bay Area foodie starchild, and Omnivore’s Dilemma author, Michael Pollan, was at it again Wednesday night. He moderated a panel to discuss the 2007 Farm Bill on the UC Berkeley campus. The Farm Bill -– which gets reviewed about every five years – has been under the spotlight this year. ...

If it’s as beautiful and warm as everyone says it will be this Sunday, then we’re headed to the Thai Buddhist Temple in Berkeley for the Sunday brunch. We haven’t been in awhile, and we’ve been craving that Mango Sticky Rice. Brunch in general is not usually our thing -- the long wait to get seated for an over-priced generic egg scramble usually makes our tender hangovers worse and not better. But the brunch at Wat Mongkolratanaram in Berkeley does not disappoint. It’s a weekly fundraiser for the temple. For around $5, you can get a tasty and pretty authentic Thai meal, including their delicious mango sticky rice for dessert. ...

With the sun out, the temperatures high, one can only think of one thing-- what's going on in the World of the -ist's? Bostonist dug deep to uncover Barack Obama's unpaid parking tickets, their Governor's latest ethical lapse, and a plagarizing sports writer. Chicagoist had everything in twos: two views on having the Olympics, losing two members of their Super Bowl team, and two music festivals. DCist put their noses in legal books as......

We just went to a birthday party for a one-year-old, and with the bikini-clad ladies, the rock-band and the wild animals, it was cooler and more elaborate than any party scheme we've come up with in recent memory. Do kids really think they can have it all, the perfect skin, the crazy parties and their parents' love and approval? Will ever-younger people take everything from their hard partying elders? Well it is time to strike back, and we'll begin at Zeum....

Austinist gets arty with an interactive guide to SXSW, loved some local art galleries and a new art exhibit and lamented the possible loss of "Friday Night Lights" production to New Mexico. Bostonist was happy they finally found an Anna Nicole Smith connection to their fair city and that an Apple Store was opening up. They were less happy that new rules have been established limiting underage shows and that their Governor is spending......

...But we couldn't resist posting this excellent YouTube of Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around (Comes Around)" set to the movie "Closer." When TourkGate 2007 broke out, we were at home listening to our Justin Timberlake CD. We waited with bated breath until the video co-starring Scarlett Johansson premiered, but we were underwhelmed with the result - too much talking, we didn't get the whole concept with the dancers, and JT's acting kind of sucks. (Plus, we like Natalie Portman in this movie because she totally stole our old haircut.) ...

"Hilary's totally witholding until I pitch a shutout." By SFist Elaine......

Our infatuation with Tara Wray and her documentary, Manhattan, Kansas, began at the opening shot of a very energetic and young-looking woman on a rooftop in Manhattan, New York, who turned out to be Tara Wray herself, and the creator of the adventurously personal film we were about to watch. She said she always felt like she was born in "the wrong Manhattan." ...

We want a dog so bad we've taken to following strangers in the street in the hope that they'll stop at the “don’t walk sign” and let us pet Fido. One may wonder why we haven't run to the shelter to adopt one yet. The official reason we give the weary stranger towering over us while we crouch down to scratch his pit bull’s head is that our landlord doesn't allow pets. But truth be told, our common sense buckles at the idea of having to walk a hyperactive mutt called Schnitzel at 4AM when we just barely managed to crawl back home from the Orbit Room. Fortunately there is a heaven for lazy dog lovers and it is called Alamo Square. ...

As it's Valentine's day, it's only fitting to talk about love... or lack there of... or rather the unique ways technology is helping people find love. This morning, the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle is stamped with a great story about how Silicon Valley execs have put love second to their job and are now using what appears to be a very successful matchmaking service in order to find the right mate. To be fair though, this strategy is expensive - - ($500 for entry level?!?! What?) So We've hunted down some other services that are lest costly, less time consuming and probably less helpful, but definitely very entertaining......

Gavin fleeing The Press Conference. Better add some Hail Marys to that latte, playboy. By SFist Elaine......

We know we've been talking about the Traina sisters quite a bit lately, but we can't help but comment on the mostly fierce but somewhat questionable fashion sense of the closest thing we'll ever have to the Hilton sisters. (Even though the Traina girls, like, hate being compared to the Hiltons.) This is another photo from New York Fashion Week, and, frankly, we're at a loss for words. ...

The other Vanessa socialite, Vanessa Traina, showed up to New York Fashion Week looking very chic but a kinda rexy. Maybe she should stop hanging out with the Olsen twins? By SFist Elaine Photo from Style.com......

All you 9-to-5ers out there who loathe working, Aim Low Kid's got your number. Their debut album, aptly titled, Soundtrack for the New Depression, is a handbook for the thinking working folk. Listen to their track Couple Dozen People and imagine any given day in the Financial District. Since we happen to be engaged to lead singer Daniel Phifer, we get asked what Aim Low Kid sounds like quite a lot. We usually get frustrated......

We don't mean to pour on the haterade, but we couldn't help but dedicate Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" to Gavin. In a perfect world, he would dance around to this song every morning while he picks out ties and logs onto SFist. Work it, Big G! By SFist Elaine......

Victoria Traina and Danielle Steel at New York Fashion Week. Team Traina! Picture from Style.com By SFist Elaine......

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. " - Mark Twain By SFist Elaine......

Their name's the stuff our dreams are made of but the first minute we spend at The San Francisco Chocolate Factory doesn't bode well. "Do you make the chocolate here?" We ask, our dowey eyes full of Charlie-like wonder. The clerk winces as she sets us straight. We feel her pain: for the next thirty minutes every single walk-in repeats that same question. But fear not; though the place lacks factory creds, boy, they bring on the chocolate. And the San Francisco. ...