Josh Wolf captures the one, the only Frank Chu on tape. Listen and learn, people. Harder to capture is reclusive local author Laura Albert JT LeRoy. Also at large is the motherf**ker who vandalized Farmer John's coastside teepee. more ›

Last week's winner, the Guardian: Cover articles: SF school superintendant Arlene Ackerman haaaaaaates the Guardian. Okay, we've now read too much about the school board, we had a nightmare about her and members of the Green Party chasing us around and around in a circle last night. Bill Graham Presents is working exclusively with the Weekly, grr! Hey, we actually went to one of the events listed in "The Mix," that little box of things that the cooler-than-you-are SFBGers went to last week. We're sure this is completely mortifying to the cooler-than-you-are SFBGers to hear, like when the cool kids would go to the Esprit store in high school, only to find that group of math club nerdgirls already there. Tura Satana nee Yamaguchi! Miranda July! And Norwegian Annie, loved by Pitchfork! Next up, the EBX: The EBX brags up all the awards it won. The SF Hooters is now boycotting the SF Weekly because the EBX ran a I Like Eating cartoon making fun of their bad food! (The Weekly and the EBX are both owned by New Times Media.) More horse coverage. Cover article: everyone gets along in Newark, CA. The Hootersly-banned I Like Eating dines at the 7-11. Miranda July! But no Annie. And Savage Love: eeps, more tips on rectal tampons! After the jump, the triumphant return of the Metro and the Weekly. more ›

Once again, the Essefficist is back, a day late and at least a dollar short. We could go on all night about what a piece of junk this column is -- she may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid -- but we're a little rushed, so if you'll just get on board, we'll get started. We've got two questions to answer today, both from esteemed colleagues. more ›