Well, we put little lines next to "Jesus," you bitch. Oh, gosh, excuse us. Sorry. We just heard the unholy tale of Jean's cement Jesus statue, or lack thereof, and we're livid. Our Lord, it seems, is being held hostage. Why? Because Jean won't take care of her "poopies" or "weiners" [sic] -- at least according to the CNN reporter, doing his best to make it on Best Week Ever or the Daily Show.......

St. Mary's Medical Center got a tip of the hat care of VH1's Best Week Ever blog. For what, exactly? Why, for acting like Dr. Frankenstein and slicing off carpenter Garrett La Fever's big toe and reattaching it as his thumb. According to to ABC 7: The thumb is responsible for 40 percent of the function of the hand which is why when doctors proposed removing Garrett's big toe and using it to create......

OK, we're kind of loathe to even mention one of tonight's series premieres because it is that infamous sitcom that's based on a series of Geico commercials. We're speaking, of course, of "Cavemen", and it premieres on ABC at 8 p.m. Now, the last time a TV sitcom was based on a series of commercials, the result was "Baby Bob," so we can't blame people and their knee-jerk reactions to this. That trailer up......

Previously on "The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman," the bachelor chose local gals Bevin and Tessa as his final two. And we all know who he ultimately chose, especially since she was spilling the beans weeks ago, but let's take a look at the highlights (or hopefully, low lights) of the season finale. It was time for the girls to meet Andy's family, which included his parents, his grandparents, and his sister. Because what's......

Today marks the third anniversary of "Care Not Cash" and as a result, homelessness is having the Best Week Ever. In honor of the anniversary, Team Gavin has launched a full court press showing that despite appearances, things have improved. Question: what is the proof? Answer: according to Trent Roher, about 1,800 homeless people are now people formerly known as homeless. Those who go into the program mainly stay in the program. Of course, numbers can be spun all sorts of ways and there's been different interpretations of those numbers. ...

We're guessing most of you are hungover from St. Patrick's Day. We are too. But still, we're going to muddle on through our green haze and give you (drum roll please...) this Week In -ists....

We have to disagree with VH-1's "Best Week Ever" about saying Little Richard had the Best Week Ever because we thought Osama Bin Laden totally did. Why Osama Bin Laden? Because we've heard his name mentioned more in the past week than we've heard in the past year. In fact, the Osama is so hot right now that no politician could go without mentioning his name. Including Nancy Pelosi...

The idea of seeing Naked Babies, a random improv group that cut it's teeth years ago in New York might not seem like that big of a thing at first, but it is considering that one of the members grew up to be Rob Corddry of the "Daily Show." At this point, seeing Corddry live on-stage with the group he got his start with is like seeing a rock star get on stage with the group he got his start with. Well, more like the rock stars' lead guitarist. ...

Was it the Best Week Ever? Not so much. But that doesn't mean there wasn't enough good stuff to go around. First, more problems for the Orange and Black, a franchise in the midst of a drunken-late-night-pizza-slice of a nightmare type season. -KNBR broadcaster and occasional Examiner columnist Larry Krueger got himself into heap loads of trouble last week for comments he made concerning the men in Orange and Black. In the middle of a......

It’s been theorized that Barry’s little pity-party that he threw for himself, his prop of a son, and select members of the press was merely another one of his patented "you’ll miss me when I’m gone" ploys. Which we will but that's neither here nor there right now. What is here and there right now is the fact that while the ploy has worked in the past, the answer this time just might be no. And not only no, but don’t let the door hit you on the way out. In other words, the question being bandied about now isn’t when Bonds will return but should he. ...

First off, don't let the name of the program fool you. Dick Clark will NOT be hosting Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve this Friday. That privilege is going to Regis Philbin, and we think you already know how we feel about Regis. So skip it. Or go outside. Or go to sleep before midnight even strikes. Because New Year's Eve? Blows. In other news, this week TV offers up the inevitable "Year in......