(By Eyleen Tavy) Somebody amend the Constitution, already! Even as one right is affirmed, another is torn from our grasp -- the right to manufacture pre-mixed caffeinated energy drinks. That's right, "Anheuser-Busch said it will reformulate its popular 'Tilt' and 'Bud Extra' (oh god they call it 'B to the E', we are cringing SO HARD right now our desk chair might go up our ass) brands to remove the stimulants they currently contain."......

Federal alcohol regulators are asking Vaune Dillmann of Mount Shasta Brewing Company to stop producing bottle caps for his beer with the slogan "Try Legal Weed." See, apparently these alcohol regulators think that Dillmann is referencing the illegal marijuana (technically, it's still illegal, people -- let's not get in a snit) but really, oh my goodness, he's not! Dillmann says the Mary Jane reference is to the town where the brewery is located: Weed, California.......

Café du Nord will be the setting for a showcase of three talented local rock bands tonight: Raised By Robots, The Aimless Never Miss, and The Paper Sons. The Paper Sons, four extremely talented guys from the Bay Area, are known for their real alternative-rock sound (a bit of a throw back to the early 90's but somehow still very current). We got a chance to talk to Tom McCullough (pictured second to the left),......

Found at Wunder Beer Brewing Co., this trumps the tic-tac-toe games and four-letter words we normally scribble on restaurant tables. (We're not exactly sure what the drawing's accompanying text says -- "human ______ grown in a lab seething with revenge?" -- but follow the jump to decipher it yourself.) Hey, if you think your restaurant table art is so goddamn clever, snap it up and tag said photos in flickr with "sfist." Maybe we'll......

Rope Burn by Still Flyin' (directed by Isobel Knowles) Still Flyin': Not to knock (heh) its former incarnation, the Odeon, but we love the Knockout. From obscure DJ nights to live bands, this nightclub seems to pull it off minus any affectation -- a difficult feat for any artsy venue to accomplish. Tonight head over to the Outer Mission spot and catch beloved San Francisco-based supergroup Still Flyin', along with rock-ish outfits Yellow Fever......

Un-American group the Catholic League, the nation's largest Catholic civil rights sect, has called for a boycott of Miller Beer ever since The Last Supper got the parody treatment from the Folsom Street Fair folks. Two great comments on our original post that can sum it all up, more or less: guest, "This isn't about christians, gays, or fisting; it's about ignorant American philistines too dull to understand that homages to The Last Supper......

It seemed like everyone in the beer-geek world was at the Toronado for their 20th Anniversary party on Saturday night. The place was packed to the absolute gills with locals, brewmasters, and beer fans who'd flown in for the occasion (we met a guy who'd come from Vancouver). Several brewers of note had made special beers for the occasion, and we were lucky enough to score a table and sample a few. We loved......

Kwik-E-Mart, a store normally confined to your television set, is invading 7-Eleven stores across the country; locally, there's one in Mountain View. ...

Did anything happen at all in the San Francisco Bay Area today? All we've been doing is monitoring the Paris Hilton back to jail news! MOOOOOOM!!!!! --Beer and wine are okay for the North Beach Festival next week, but no hard alcohol. --More folks are getting laid off from the Chronicle. The Chron has launched a Portraits In Grief-like feature. --The Special Olympics are in Berkeley this weekend. --An old theater on Market Street (the......

Jim Woods, the man behind Mateveza, had a great time at Beer Fest this past Saturday. He was even able to get a certain Mr. Frank Chu in on the action. Nakrofenikal indeed.......

p>Right on the Heels of Gavin's Announcement that he was going into rehab for drinking comes... you guessed it: San Francisco Strong Beer Month!

The -ists this week had politics on the brain. And what goes better with politics? Partying-- that's two great tastes in one. Oh, and Kevin Federline...can't forget about Kevin Federline. That's three great tastes in one. -Bostonist discussed two big state issues-- what sort of math constitutes a marriage and what kind of alcohol can be sold in most grocery stores. And the politically minded Curt Schilling went on "Jeopardy!". ...

Let's take a look back at a week that raised this Zen koan: if Kevin Federline got into a wrestling ring with a wrestler, who would you root for?...

Wednesday... can I get a definition, please? Tonight: Check out work by local emerging choreographers at ODC Theater's ODC School Pilot Program performance. Twelve bucks gets you into the 8 p.m. show (3153 17th Street, between S. Van Ness and Shotwell). Thursday: "An old man!" "A broom!" "At an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting!" Dance Mission Theater's featuring a program of improv dance by Scott Wells & Dancers. Wells won last year's Isadora Duncan award for Outstanding Choreography. The show, "U.S. or Them," will explore outside views of the United States through the terpsichorean arts. Dance Mission Theater's at 3316 24th Street at Mission and the show starts at 8. Reserve tix at 415-273-4633. And Friday: Support your local independent filmmaker and stop by the annual Artists' Television Access fundraiser from 7-11 p.m. tonight. Beer by Lagunitas, food by Rainbow, interviews with local notables by Neighborhood Public Radio, and a Powerpoint presentation inspired by Walter Benjamin, all in the service of "The Work of Art in the age of Digital Reproduction." Plus. music and DJs, and if you donate now, you get an array of text and video compilations and a shirt! $10, at 992 Valencia. ...

In which SFist eats our way around the Bay Area in alphabetical order Somewhere deep in the Tenderloin you can find a secretive wooden door, sometimes marked by 'Daddi-Dee' waiting to see if you'll bum him a cigarette or slide him a note. The journey through the less than calm streets to 743 Larkin is certainly worth making because once you step over the threshold from sidewalk to Olive, you'll find a charming little bar......

They say that ‘Beer is dear but liquor is quicker’. Well, Barrespondent Drew has found that if you just combine the two it becomes an express train with no brakes, careening through stations leaving your fellow passengers bewildered and late for work. Commuting problem solved! Being a city full of more transients than your average Greyhound station, San Francisco needs places that you can count on. After all, if you’re coming back from a......

Our friends and family tried to tell us, but we had to find out for ourselves anyway: July in an ivy-covered Northeastern college town is no place for a California boy. We mention this because that's where we were four summers ago, huddling by the air conditioner in a townie bar to escape the heat that had been trying to braise us, watching the A's play Cleveland on ESPN, when we discovered the best.......

Paranoia, several coffee shops, and some hot, spicy goat with naan. ...

[Ed. Note: This, friends, would have been the 2,000th post on SFist, except our co-editor beat us to it. So it's the 2,001st! Thanks to the staff and readers for all the great writing, tips and comments over the past ten months!] Lots going on tonight, as you'd know if you read our music editor's column yesterday (SFist Jake is playing at Jupiter at 8pm!). Not into those bands? How about taking in Offenbach's......

Beer: We like it. So Half Moon Bay Brewing Company — a waterfront restaurant that brews its own — seemed a great choice for a foggy afternoon on the coast. We had s**t to do that day, so we didn't get to HMB until about three p.m. The anticipated thinness of the post-lunch, pre-dinner-hour crowd didn't pan out; we approached the hostess out on the patio (which was crowded even in the fog, and......

With Dr. Hunter S. Thompson moving on to bigger and better things, writers, critics, stoners and other hangers-on are organizing tributes around the country and around the world. But we have a feeling that the only one Hunter himself would have attended would be right here in San Francisco at the Edinburgh Castle Pub. Sure, Jahn Wenner will probably throw some blockbuster event full of literary luminaries in New York, but we all know......

A weekly shot (or four) in the dark at finding the bar in the Bay area that slings the best hooch. By barrespondent, Andrew. Winter is not the time for light beer. Nothing further sinks your night of fighting for parking or fighting with that guy for the last seat on the 22 Fillmore than some crystal clear lightweight waiting for you at the bar. When the temperature falls outside, the brew being poured inside......

A weekly foray into the not-so-fine art of sitting on a barstool and gettin' loaded. By Drew. East Bay Roadtrip edition! Besides brainy college kids and Pixar employees, just what is there across the bay? Quite a bit as it turns out. Sure, everyone knows about the breakneck gentrification of Emeryville and Albany, but there's just as many areas in and around Oakland that remain as they have been for many years. The College Avenue/Rockridge......

Tonight marks the first of eight nights of Hanukkah, that minor holiday puffed up to major holiday deal so goyim have something to say after that awkward pause that invariably arises when they ask a member of the Tribe how their Christmas shopping is going. So there’s only two Hanukkah songs of note, there’s no kitschy Rankin-Bass holiday special featuring little Moishe and Rebecca as they and Judas Maccabee try and save Hanukkah from......

It's looking like yet another beautiful weekend in the City, which means we're once again faced with a veritable plethora of choices on what to do. Hike Mt. Tam? Pound the pavements to affect political change? Drink steins of beer and polka? Don't know about you, but the choice is obvious- it's Polka time! Yep, Germany's most famous tradition that doesn't involve invading France is back for the annual Oktoberfest By The Bay at the......