The Sonoma-Marin Fair held it's now nationally famous, 29th Annual Ugliest Dog Contest on Friday and a winner has been crowned.

Behold Martha, a 125-pound Neapolitan Mastiff who beat out 13 other dogs for the title of World's Ugliest Dog. According to KRON 4, Martha is a 3-year-old who was left nearly blind by neglect. She was rescued from a Craigslist ad (of all godforsaken places) by the Dogwood Animal Rescue Project in Sonoma County, had several surgeries to correct her vision, and can now see. Martha was fostered by Dogwood's Shirley Zindler and has since been adopted by Jessica Burkard of Penngrove, California.

"Never did I imagine that she would be ending up on articles and onstage and on TV," Burchard told the New York Times.

As the winner of the contest, Martha and her minders will take home $1,500, a huge trophy, and planned media trips to NYC. The contest promotes the adoption of pets who may have been neglected and abused, celebrating the traits many consider to be ugly as beautiful and fun instead.

Not everyone gets it.

ABC 7 reports that this year's judges are media consultant Brian Sobel, illustrator Paige Braddock and NBC correspondent Kerry Sanders. And prizes aren't just awarded for hideousness. A "Spirit Award is presented to a dog and owner who have overcome obstacles and, or are providing a service to the community."

Here's a whole Today Show (weekend version) segment about the contest — with one host wearing green rain boots in the New York City studio:

If anyone is worried about Martha's self-esteem following her entry into the Ugliest Dog contest, much less her being crowned the winner, she's cool with it. "Martha thinks she's beautiful. We tell her every day," said Zindler.

Related: Election Scandal Threatens To Undermine World's Ugliest Dog Contest

Behold: Five of the ten finalists in the 2013 Mr. Marina Competition, all dolled up in their finest underoos and spray-on bronze from a local salon. This photo should serve as a retina-searing reminder that tonight marks the second annual Mr. Marina male beauty pageant and charity drinking event.

This year's competition has already seen shameless self-promotion from contestants in the form of rap videos, stunt tattoos and an endorsement from at least one hyperlocal Internet celebrity. And we're told the boys have been hard at work at an opening number in the style of Magic Mike/a vintage Miss America dance routine.

SFist will be in attendance tonight, of course, with frustratingly hungover analysis to follow on Thursday. In the meantime, onlookers eager to see those airbrushed abs in person should should know there are still tickets available to tonight's shindig at Ruby Skye.

Previously: All Mr. Marina coverage on SFist.

A bit saddened and surprised that Phil Bronstein failed to contact us immediately to get few choice quotes and some penetrative views on the human penis, we can forgive the Chronicle's Editor-at-Large since he penned a downright spectacular piece on the male piece. Specifically, the flap of skin that gets lopped off for religious and/or societal reasons is also great for freshening up a disgustingly-aged face. (By the way, hailing for Southern California, we have 0.00 problems with plastic surgery. Having work done is the Orange County version of getting a tattoo. A time-honored ritual, really.) Bronstein writes:

In the flap over San Francisco's proposed circumcision ban, one very important constituency hasn't been heard from: vain and aging people who might use a plastic surgery filler made of human baby foreskins.

I'm not kidding.

Once detached, that small piece of human apron tissue can perform all sorts of magic, including the repair of skin damaged by everything from burns to bunions to bad habits.

In his 1891 book, "The History of Circumcision," snipping crusader Dr. Peter Remondino wrote: "for skin-transplanting, there is nothing superior to the prepuce of a boy."

You can look up "prepuce." I had to.

Also, when you Google "prepuce," do NOT do an image search. Don't. Unless, of course, you're a vile child molester. In which case you still shouldn't. You sicko. Anyway.

Said "prepuces" have also helped create something magical called foreskin fibroblasts, which can create collegen. And collegen is your friend. A popular anti-aging skin cream called SkinMedica -- most notably squirted and smeared onto the well-worn faces of Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters, who both have breathlessly raved about it -- can run you around $100 a bottle.

If the citys circumcision ban fails at the ballot box (which it will), does this mean the foreskin-culling business will turn into a goldmine? Possibly. Bronstein goes on to say:

Not just ego but substantial money could be involved. Doctors have warned that "the marketing of purloined baby foreskins is a multimillion-dollar-a-year industry." Medical centers could do a booming business as well.

My middle son got his overhang clipped just after birth at a local hospital, and now I think about it every time I'm at a society event talking to someone who's older than 50 and weirdly seamless.

We don't even...oh dear. Ahem. Be sure to check it out. Because, really, it's an excellent read.

[Chron]

The depressing story of 34-year-old San Francisco pageant mom Kerry Campbell, who gives her 8-year-old daughter Botox injections, made readers foam at the mouth after The Mommy Files brought the all-too-true tale to the public's attention. Kerry, looking to make her young daughter both famous and sexually alluring, "purchases Botox online and injects her 8-year-old daughter Britney with it." She also waxes her daughter's legs and bikini line in a chilling effort "to get rid of peach fuzz and to make sure she doesn't develop pubic hair later in life." Mom and daughter, named Britney (of course), appeared on Inside Edition today to explain.

INSIDE EDITION: "People watching this will say, this is child abuse."
CAMPBELL: "It's not child abuse. I'm not hurting my daughter. I take very good care of my daughter."
INSIDE EDITION: "You believe a lot of people in the pageant world are doing this?"
CAMPBELL: "I know a lot of people in the pageant world are doing it!"

The perverse mom also appeared on Good Morning America on Thursday to whore out her daughter some more. Mama Kerry revealed that Britney never actually requested the treatments, saying, "We talked about it. She didn't exactly ask me about it but I know that she was complaining about her face having wrinkles and things like that."

When asked if she would ever want to have waxing done again, Britney said, "no." We can only imagine what kind of treatment her mother will force upon her if and when she complains about her weight. Check out their cringe-worthy GMA appearance below.

Turns out makeup can not only make a girl feel less ugly, it can also help pay off your bills!

A Daly City man is accused of stealing $60,000 worth of makeup from Macy's while working there as an employee. Working at two Macy's locations as a stockroom employee, Carlos Gacula was arrested Tuesday after allegedly trying to leave the store with "90 tubes of MAC lipstick worth $1,300," according to the SJ Mercury.

According to reports, Gacula was apparently having some money problems and had been taking makeup items from the storeroom of Macy's -- selling the items at an outdoor market and to friends. (MAC items must've gone over big at that market. We can't help but imagine the competition would be leftover Avon makeup from the 80s.)

Gacula had allegedly confessed to stealing other items before, writing down a list of items he had taken. Gacula has been charged with embezzlement and grand theft; he is being held at the San Mateo County jail.

(by Dianne de Guzman)

What a fun concept. Red Union Hair Salon has launched its 2nd Annual Severed Head Contest, in which students and stylists from participating beauty schools and salons transform mannequin heads into fabulous pieces displaying their talent for creating amazing hair and make-up. Anything goes, from outright stunning, funny, and thought provoking, to scary and ghoulish.

The public, as well other schools and salons, are invited to stop by Red Union Salon (1996 Union St) and vote on their favorite severed heads starting tomorrow, and the contest runs through October 30 at 5 p.m. Salon hours are Sunday through Friday 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The winners will be announced on Halloween.

Females of San Francisco, this is how it's done.