Some of you might be sick of the beard, and yes, we'd love to see Brian Wilson sans his undoubtedly stinky crumb-catcher once again, but this virtual opportunity to touch Brian Wilson's beard is pretty entertaining. Honestly, we gave ourselves chills when we teased it with our mouse.
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Results tagged “beards”
Touch Brian Wilson's Virtual Beard
Brian Wilson Beard Watch: Code Dore-Alley
Egad. Brian Wilson, noted San Francisco Giants pitcher and Charlie Sheen sympathizer, sported an increasingly bushy beard over the weekend that is out of control. Just look at it. Look at it! It's unruly and unconditioned. Gone are the post-season days of trimmed facial hair and dapper head of hair. Now he looks like the guy stuck in front of you at the Dore Alley Fair. You know, the gentleman wearing a harness who's really hot, but also has a smattering of bacne and a noticeable lack of deodorant. Which then forces you onto less-crowded Howard Street. And then you're all, "Oh, fuck it. I'm too old for this shit. I'm going to the lobby of the St. Regis to get smashed on vespers like a real homo." He's like that guy.
McSweeney's Jumps Aboard Brian Wilson Beard Bandwagon With Delightful Results
McSweeny's is now selling poster-size versions (11"x17") of this image showing you how to grow Brian Wilson's noted facial hair. They run at $8 a pop. What can you do with it? "I presume they want you to hang it there as a reminder not to shave your face, not so you have something to distract yourself while you sit in your bathroom crying about how you've let yourself go over the years," muses Uptown Almanac.
Pondering the Semiotics of Hipster Beards
Over the weekend we went to Casanova's and realized that hipster beards have achieved some sort of critical mass. It appeared that every fourth person in the bar had some sort of beard, giving the bar a high HBQ (Hipster Beard Quotient, a stat derived by dividing the number of beards per customer, multiplying it by the size of the crowd, and then dividing it again by the square footage). The HBQ was not quite Boogaloos high but high nevertheless. We also noticed that there were also a high variety of beards seen, meaning that the beard craze has gone from it's "classic" phase to "gothic" phase.
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