It seemed like such a great idea prior to last season – take the best free agent leftie out there, and sign him to the biggest contract ever for a pitcher ("TWO Barrys! What could possibly go wrong?"). ...

Let's check in with our local teams while the rest of the world is searching for Ronaldo......

Here's todays sports news...

You know, we normally hate bus-line disruptions, but we can ALMOST make an exception for this weekend's: "On Saturday, March 15, San Francisco Little League Baseball will open the 2008 season with a parade from the Presidio to Marina Middle School." A parade! A cute little baseball parade! TOO ADORABLE! This makes us want to have a baby so we can raise it for 8 years and then buy it a little pinstripe costume......

Here's what we've missed in the world of Bay Area sports while trying to figure out who the Oceanic 6 are......

Today a federal judge told the prosecutors to "re-craft its perjury case against Barry Bonds." The judge on the Bonds case, Susan Illston, claims that they "improperly lumped multiple alleged offenses into each of four counts of its indictment of the former Giants star." Whoops. Illston slammed the Bonds indictment, which was handed up last November, as "duplicitous." According to the Chron: By law, the government can only accuse a person of one crime......

Here's todays sports news...

Here's a roundup of sports news...

Researching San Francisco history means spending way too much time sitting in the dark. In the library, we mean, staring at microfilm of old newspapers. Hours of scanning those scratched and blurry archives makes us a little punchy, so we blinked and rubbed our eyes at this gruesome headline from the February 13, 1902 edition of the San Francisco Chronicle. We wondered momentarily if it was a prescient comment on the state of contemporary......

It appears that the Billy Beane Player Emporium is still open for business as Beane just traded traded Nick Swisher to the White Sox for a bunch of prospects. The house-cleaning continues....

Here's todays sports stories...

After all the hype and after all the expectations, we have to admit the steroid report was pretty much a yawner. We wanted names, damnit, lots and lots of names. Juicy names. Big names. Super Colossus Names. Instead we got Gregg Zaun. Bo-ring. The list was mainly a bunch of journeymen and never-were's from the 90's and who cares about them? Wasn't this whole thing about nailing the big boys? ...

Former Senate Majority Leader (and current Boston Red Sox director) George Mitchell just announced the results of his 20-month, $20 million investigation into allegations of widespread steroid usage in baseball. The long-awaited, 409-page Mitchell Report (document here) identifies more than 80 current and former players as being linked to using performance-enhancing drugs. While the report casts blame on the lack of institutional control within baseball as much as the players themselves that cheated, what......

Carole Migden's girlfriend (OK then, "wife?" We refuse to use the sterile and patronizing "partner") Cris Arguedas, it seems, now must deal with yet another San Francisco diva: Barry Bonds. According to the Sacto Bee, the letter "h" eschewing lawyer "joined the defense team of baseball star Barry Bonds last week, as the long-time Sam Francisco Giant pleaded not guilty to charges of perjury." Arguedas is now part of a high-profile team that will......

Stepping out of his black Chevy Tahoe SUV, smashingly dressed, and fully aware that the media would bombard him beforehand, former glory Barry Bonds acted like a punk today after arriving at the U.S District Courthouse to make his plea this morning. Oh, and that plea of fibbing under oath to a federal grand jury regarding his steroids use? Not guilty. Ta-da. Basically, he came, said that he didn't do it, had a bond......

We're sure y'all heard the big rumor out there that the Giants might trade either The Enchanter or Matt Cain to the Blue Jays for Alex Rios. This morning it was Timmy but now SFGate is saying it's Cain. Either way, our opinion is this-- hell to the noes. ...

Here's todays sports news...

Phillyist prepared to party by doing the hustle, lighting the lights, shopping up a storm, and... visiting Khrushchev? LAist continues to cover the Hollywood Writers Strike with visiting guest "strikers" such as KT Tunstall and Presidential candidate John Edwards. To celebrate Veteran's Day, they visited a Civil War reenactment and to celebrate Geography Week, they asked all the Los Angeles City Councilmembers about the districts they represent finding that LA's 180+ official neighborhoods are......

-- The Shining (1980): "Honey, I'm home," "Here's Johnny!" etcetera, etcetera, Kubrick, and so forth. (No one wields a baseball bat like Shelley Duvall. So awkward. Also, what ever happened to her?) Screens at midnight (okay, 11:55 p.m.) at the Clay. -- Heat: The Endup gets Warholian on you with a club night dedicated to Andrew's Factory and all the wonderful superstars, nuts, and sex symbols it produced. DJ Donimo and DJ6 pump out......

Choose your allusion-- the sword of Damocles finally striking, the chickens coming home to roost, karma being an ill-tempered bitch-- but Barry Lamar is now up against it for breaking the law, breaking the law. Personally, we were a bit stunned that it happened coming as it did years after the actual case, but we're cavemen-- we fell on some ice and was later thawed by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses us! ...

Back during his halcyon days. Presumably. Dude. Duuuuuuude. After a four-year federal investigation, today cranky baseball icon Barry Bonds was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice. Ouch. And Jesus. He's like Pete Rose, but worse. Which? Again, ouch. According to CBS 5, "[w]hile Bonds was chasing Aaron amid the adulation of San Franciscans and the scorn of baseball fans almost everywhere else, due to his notoriously prickly personality and nagging steroid allegations, a grand......

Here's todays sports news...

It appears to be bomb day here at the ole 'Fist as we have yet another bomb story to relate to y'all. This one involves a die-hard (seriously die-hard) Giants fan who called in bomb threats at Turner Field in Atlanta. ...

Here's a few sports stories to get you through the bleakness of the Rox/Sox World Series...

Poor Cal-- so close yet so far. Our theory about what happened is that the idea of Cal having the #1 ranked team in the country was so crazy that even in this year (decade, actually) of sports craziness, the God of Sports deemed that just too crazy and set the upset in motion. Of course, we're also looking at the Rockies in the World Series, so whadda we know? Okay, before the Raiders recap,......

Here's todays sports news...

Here's todays sports news...

While we might be broken up with Barry, he does seem to have his fans. Like this lady who tried to say goodbye in her own, personal way. Too bad security got to her before she could give Barry that hug she so obviously wanted to give (he probably could have used it). Heck, too bad security got to her before Lou Seal could have taken matters into his own hands. And too bad it wasn't Morgana the Kissing Bandit....

Here's todays sports news...

Oh, this is so mean. And yet so funny. The guy who purchased Bond's 756th home run ball, Marc Ecko (a fashion designer, so girl doesn't really need a baseball), set up a site to poll people as to what to do with it, and the decision? To brand it with an asterisk, because of Bonds performance-enhancing drugs scandal, and send to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Ecko said that the marking of the......