Results tagged “associatedpress”

Actress Dawn Wells -- i.e., Mary-Ann from -- was busted for smoking the doob, it seems. The Associated Press has the harrowing, mary jane-fueled details:

Although last week's test on the American tap water by chemists claims to have detected the sex hormone estradiol -- found such vertebrate animals as birds, reptiles, and fish -- a more recent test conducted by the American Waterworks Association Research Foundation, says that San Francisco's "best tasting" H20 has come up sparkling clean.

Lust, greed, and murder, it seems, are a thing of the past, according to the Vatican. Drug use and life-saving genetic experimentation are what's hot, at least according to the updated thou-shall-not list, which Pope Benedict XVI has modernized for today's lifestyle. The Associated Press tells us that among this season's newest sins, environmental sustainability, or lack thereof, made the list.

A small but vocal amount of the local Serbian community held a minor protest about the United States' recognition of Kosovo as a separate state, going up Market Street on Sunday afternoon; the republic declared itself to be independent earlier this month. According to Associated Press, Serbian Prime Minister Vojislav Kostunica says the U.S. should "annul their recognition of Kosovo." AP goes on to say:

Anonymous souces involved with the federal invstigation disclose information about drugs.

Oh this is a smashing idea.

Sob. Dick Wilson (AKA Mr. Whipple) died today at 91. His message to the world? Simply this, "please, don't squeeze the Charmin." Born Riccardo DiGuglielmo, Wilson changed his name while working as an actor in efforts to avoid typecasting as an Italian-American. Little did he know that he would be typecast as America's favorite, um, cleanup enthusiast. Emigrating to the U.S. from England as wee lad, he went on to star in over 500...

Even more pressure to stop screwing around and settle down, this time from advice columnist Jeanne Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, aaka Dear Abby.

Associated Press' Scott Lindlaw reports that at yesterday's federal building grand opening, as Nancy Pelosi was in the middle of playing the time-honored role of ribbon cutter, "anti-war protestors" audibly chanted such gems as "Impeach now" and "How about cutting the funding for war?" What's more, they unraveled a large banner reading "Impeach" in front of the day's speakers. But here's the best part: master of ceremonies and Bush administration official, Peter G. Stamison, tries...

The Associated Press reports that the City's secret-until-today five member WiFi panel has spoken, and that they have "identified the search leader and EarthLink Inc. as the best candidates" for the long-discussed plan to bring WiFi access to all of San Francisco.

No, not that Deep Throat. Or the documentary. Via Chris Lopez, we've learned that Vanity Fair is reporting W. Mark Felt, former FBI second-in-command, revealed himself to be the famous anonymous source for Woodward and Bernstein in a recent interview.

Unlike some people, we're willing to own up when we've made a mistake or three. The problem is, we may not even know that we made a mistake. You can imagine that in the course of pounding out this content, every day, sometimes late, sometimes during lunch at the office, usually while drunk, we may forget a detail here, not include a credit there, misspell this or misrepresent that.

Earlier this week there were cheers and high-fives from the crowd waiting outside the Redwood City courthouse where Scott Peterson was given the death sentence. Classy! Nothing like doling out the ultimate penalty to fire up a crowd. We hope they were all excited over what this could mean for Ben Affleck's career as a dramatist, and not over the the prospect of yet more death in this tragedy.