Last week's two-peat winner, the Guardian: Angry, angry about the Village Voice's buyout of the New Times. Gavin Newsom -- in the pocket of the business community elites? Say it ain't so! Arlene Ackerman, bristling at public review? Say it ain't so! Annalee Newitz went to a Nick Denton party. Cover article: We're talkin' LO, LO, LO, L-O-V-E, LO, LO, LO. (Will Ashlee Simpson ever go away? That song's kinda catchy, though.) That teensy little restaurant on the corner of 18th and Mission, which is now Burmese food. Hey guys, when you roll over "cheap eats" on the homepage, it still says "Dan" Leone.) And hey, the sex columnist moved to the back! (the back of the weekly, that is.) The Metro: Radio radio. Something about a Neolithic goddess. Cover article: The science of pick-up artists. Jerk chicken. The Police tribute band Stung in Redwood City. Hyphy, the West Coast answer to crunk. The Asian Excellence Awards in Secret Asian Man. Hey, we totally had a good time watching those! C'mon, they were sponsored by XO! more ›

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly: Tommy Craggs, like Tony Toni Tone, has done it again! This week, he uses the Microsoft Word auto-summarizer to read last week's interminable Sean Penn in Iran articles from the Chron! Could it be that Mr. Craggs heard our desperate cries for help? In other news, Matt Smith hates on Chris Daly's Rincon Hill deal, the Infiltrator pretends to Christian rock, and the cover article's about heavy metal Thor. Savage Love: you know, if you start a letter to Dan with "I'm straight, I'm smart, I'm funny, and I'm hot," you kind of get what you deserve. Next: the Metro! RIP, Bob Moog. The war on terror seemed a little overblown in Lodi. Spongebob Squarepants at Great America! Cover: San Jose gang war. And Secret Asian Man eats your hate up like love. The Guardian and the East Bay Express after the jump, plus the pick of the week! more ›

...while we wait for the inauguration protests to start! Last week's winner, the Weekly. Matt Smith: did you know it's illegal for dogs to have sex in public in the City? Cover article: using California state procedural laws to stymie the rights of people molested by priests. Meredith Brody lunches like a lady at the Neiman-Marcus Rotunda. A pullout guide to your New Year's Resolutions: the usual list: weight loss, playing an instrument, things to do in the city (hey, have you taken one of these nifty cable cars?) and a list of phone numbers for kicking substances. OK Then's list of the next new "hyooj" bands for 2005. Also, OK Then got ticketed on a MUNI even though he had a transfer. Man, what gives with the MUNI cops lately? You should be exempt if you voted for Newsom's tax increases. Not our fault they didn't pass! Savage Love: three-ways, childhood traumas reemerging as sexual fantasies, humping someone's leg, and the word "santorum" wins a linguistic prize for 2004. The EBX: The dream cartoonist illustrates a dream featuring Donnie Wahlberg as an acting teacher. East Bay versus South Bay in the stem cell wars. Trash in the San Leandro watershed. Cover article: folk singer Dave Dondero at the Golden Gate Fields racetrack. An Alameda winery is moving to Brentwood. A profile of Mike Park's peace-promoting label Asian Man. The Guardian and the Weekly of the Week after the jump. more ›