So says this ominous looking flyer that just landed in our mailbox at SFist's Western Branch Office this week. According to the materials that we found with our $5 Bed Bath and Beyond Coupon, every weekend in May, Bible prophecy scholar and epic pessimist Mark Farrell (who unfortunately shares a name with one of our City Supervisors), will be bringing Bay Area truth seekers a "fully-illustrated series of dynamic lectures" regarding the end of days in "an easy-to-understand format." (Read: there will be a Powerpoint.) more ›

At 11 a..m. (PST) today, radio broadcasters and TV will take part in the first-ever nationwide emergency alert system test. Although emergency alert system tests have been done at the local level, we've never had one performed at the national level. This type of alert should come on handy when, say, slimy aliens attack (because they will), nuclear warfare erupts, a huge comet comes barreling toward planet Earth (you must see Melancholia; it's an actual masterpiece), or Harold Camping's premonitions of apocalyptic doom come true. more ›

Alameda false prophet Harold Camping, who predicted a May 2011 apocalypse that never came to fruition, suffered a stroke on Thursday, June 9. According to reports, the founder of nonprofit Family Radio Church suffered a stroke on his right side. Also, his speech is now a bit slurred. Regional manager for Family Stations Inc.,Charles Menut, posted the following Yahoo group message on Saturday, "Please just pray for him and do not try to contact anyone at his home or Family Radio...He and Shirley have enough family members to handle the situation. I'm sure we'll be able to publicly update everyone on Monday." more ›

According to Seth Rogen, Hollywood most favorite tender bro, George Lucas thinks the world might end in 2012. Yikes! “George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012, like, for real. He thinks it," Rogen reveals to the Toronto Sun. “He’s going on about the tectonic plates and all the time [Steven] Spielberg is, like, rolling his eyes, like, ’My nerdy friend won’t shut up, I’m sorry.' " So, yeah, there you have it. Plan accordingly, people. [TS] more ›

In case you needed another apocalyptic scenario to keep you up nights... Climate scientists are referring to it as "the other Big One," and what they're talking about is a series of torrential storms, caused by "atmospheric rivers" over California, the likes of which the state has seen before: in the winter of 1861-62. That year, storms rained down across the state for 45 straight days, leaving a third of the land under water. more ›

While it's not very Bay Area-ish, Jesus is allegedly in all of our hearts. And now look what happened? We blame the sodomites. And Code Pink. more ›

Our ride home from the Caltrain station takes us through the strange, anarchy-prone intersection of Division, 10th, Brannan and Potrero streets. The other night, as we gasped for air while sprinting for the green light on our 40-Year-Old Virgin-style commuter bike, we had an unfortunate encounter with a bug. Bitter experience tells us that when a cyclist feels the splat of a gnat on the back of the throat, there is little to be done... more ›