Previously on "America's Next Top Model" Marjorie posed as the Headless Horseman. So it should come as no surprise that she was all doom and gloom at the beginning of this week's episode, lamenting the fact that she has no "positive mantra," unlike her chipper housemates, including Analeigh. Marjorie acknowledged that she is a bundle of nerves, and it isn't helping in the competition. Challenge! Paulina taught the girls that during catalog shoots, it is......

Omigod, y'all! There's someone on "Survivor: Gabon" we actually kind of know...OK. We've never actually met her, but she starred in a student film a friend made at SFSU, so that almost counts, right? Her name is Jessica Kiper and the student film, written and directed by Alexandra Lacey, is called Weekend at the Casa Munras, and you can watch it at the Free Spirits Film site. Jessica, who is calling herself "Sugar" on the......

Previously on "America's Next Top Model" local girl Marjorie didn't do anything memorable. This week the models came home to find Tyra sitting in their living room wearing a tiara. She demanded everyone open their pretty pink princess bags, don their own tiaras, sit on the floor and eat pizza. It was a princess party! In which Tyra talked about herself. Of course. Her story: She started out doing high fashion but then sprouted boobs......

This week on "American's Next Top Model" local spaz Marjorie returned to the model den triumphant, with her winning photo splashed on the wall. But no time for basking! It's time for a lesson with bendable Benny, which required the models to pose in red tubes of fabric. "Unobviously." Post-lesson the girls played truth or dare in the hot tub. Marjorie was nowhere to be found. But there was some drama between Alaskan Hannah and......

With the fall TV season upon us, we were looking forward to a new batch of reality TV locals to make fun of cover. First up was "America's Next Top Model" contestant Marjorie, and she brought much to mock in the season premiere. But, alas, our boyfriend TiVo decided he'd had enough of that show, and erased it before we had a chance to re-watch it for a recap. But we can tell you this:......

Today's Reality TV Locals coverage is comin' at you in duo post style. "America's Next Top Model" and "The Bachelor" are below. Check back later this afternoon for "Top Chef" coverage! Previously on "America's Next Top Model," Marvita got boned. In the Top Model Lair, Marvita confessed that she can't stay in relationships for long, and doesn't do the whole kissing and holding hands thing. She realizes it has a lot to do with her......

This week's Reality TV Locals round-up will be presented in two parts for your reading enjoyment. First up is "ANTM." Previously on "America's Next Top Model," local hopeful Marvita got a horse 'do. The Tyra scrawl crawl told the girls to "turn up the heat or they'll get hosed." So they went to a firehouse where Miss J. told them to get dressed quick like bunnies into sexy firefighter outfits so some sexy firefighters could......

Thank God. Really, thank you, God. Since it's next to impossible to remove producer and star Tyra Banks from America's Next Top Model -- we understand the difficulty in smiting a soul that clearly sprang forth from ninth circle of hell -- at least you have the mercy to replace the sweetly boring Twiggy with the exotic and more straight-heterosexual-male-friendly Paulina Porizkova.(Yay!) Now that the show has been reduced from a grotesque display of......