We haven't done one of these columns in awhile! --Killer squirrels on the attack! A menacing critter stomped into an open classroom in a South San Jose school and bit a first-grader on the finger and two adults in the classroom. They called 911, but when animal control arrived, the squirrel had fled -- or in their words, "He high-tailed it outta there." Har! The school took pains to say that they don't usually have......

Can they send a bloodhound to find him? There's a $1000 reward for the return of a "very shy" Palo Alto Police Dept. K-9 bloodhound named Luke, who was last seen outside an elementary school in Newark at 7:30 on the weekend, close to his home. Look how cute Luke is! He's Palo Alto's only bloodhound (though they also have German shepherds on the team). Bloodhounds become despondent if they're separated from their owner and......

It's the annual Best Of post, the one post in the year where I get to use the first person singular! Hooray! From the Starbucks (not really a) bomber in January to the opening of the Daiso in December, it was certainly one heck of a year, wasn't it? There was BUSH TER DOWN; the Chron's series about police brutality getting upstaged by their misidentification of the cop in question; Kimberly Guilfoyle's new boyfriend,......

A missing Savannah cat named Mondo has been returned home to San Anselmo after going missing for a three weeks. A Savannah cat is a cross between a regular domestic cat and the African serval, and the people who found Mondo thought he was either a baby mountain lion or some kind of cheetah or bobcat. Savannahs have long legs and friendly demeanors, and are considered very high-energy. Mondo also has very "chatty meows." [our......

Yee-ha! It's animal roundup time! Thanks to reader SFOJim, who sent along this adorable picture of the coyote in Golden Gate Park. Run, boy, run! There's two or three coyotes who live around the Richmond. It's Blessing of the Animals time again! Churches all over are celebrating St. Francis of Assisi's feast day today, October 4, and throughout the week as well. We missed the one in SF, though -- it was last week. A......

We knew we should have saved the dead llama story for just one more day -- it's time for another Animal Roundup! Kids and parents are freaking out in Mountain View, as the squirrels in Cuesta Park go on the attack! Over the last three months, three people have been bitten by the aggressive rodents, which are becoming desperate for food after the installation of anti-squirrel trash cans in the park. Check out this paragraph......

We haven't done one of these in awhile! Thanks to SFist Jon, who was looking through the SFGate's CultureBlog, and forwarded along Peter Hartlaub's musings about whether or not Coulter, the horse in the SF children's zoo (pictured at right), was named after Ann Coulter. On the yes side: Coulter has pale coat, skinny legs, and appears to vote along conservative lines. On the no side: Coulter eats a lot, and is male. Also, there......

Remember the 2 seperate SFO-bound shipments of turkey chicks mishandled by Northwest Airlines? In both cases, the actions of Northwest cargo personel caused the death of thousands of young turkeys which were bound for a Fresno farm, intended to be raised for breeding or consumption. In a lucky turn for some, Orland-based Farm Sanctuary has adopted a number of the surviving chicks where they will live out the rest of lives free of the stress......

We're breaking with our Blotter tradition of SF crime movie clip art because, well, we can't find two other animal-related stories to post an Animal Roundup and -- would you look at how cute that marmoset is??? The Peninsula Humane Society responded to a call from an engineering student in East Palo Alto who saw a monkey running on a neighborhood fence, which turned out to be a member of the species known as the......

Many of us were disconcerted by the stories of forced abandonment of animals by their guardians in the wake of disasters, and asked ourselves "How would our dumb-ass cats fare on their own? Maybe if they were forced to fare for themselves, they'd finally appreciate how freakin' good thay have it. Yeah!" It looks like we're getting closer to never having to find out just how well Mr. Sniffy can operate a can opener, as......

We've never been happier that our dead cat's cremains reside in a little box, than when we heard about how Pet's Rest Cemetery must exhume about 1000 of its residents. The lease is up on the property the animals were laid to rest in, and the landlords want it back. The cemetery's owner claimed he thought he'd be able to buy the land, the land's owners say he should have known better, and the......

The SF Zoo is mourning the death of Pogo, one of the oldest gorillas at the zoo, who had been suffering declining health over the past few years. Pogo seems to have been subjected to a fair amount of anthropomorphism, in the way that only happens with loved animals -- she liked to read National Geographic (but the zookeepers didn't show her nature videos, because they thought they were too violent), loved to dress up,......

Six orphaned ducklings are in foster care at the Walnut Creek Lindsay Wildlife Museum, after an errant left-turner failed to make way for their mother as she was crossing North Main and Parkside. It's very sad, yes, but this article is also kind of hilarious (and it spells "quack" without the c, which we think is kind of controversial). Also, we learned that If you're trying to attract ducks to your backyard pool, you should take out those inflatable swans and motorized boats, which scare them away. From small water creatures to large -- remember our buddy the angry sea lion in Berkeley? He's back! ....and a man in Redwood City had an odd stoplight experience -- just as he pulled up to the intersection of Whipple and Elwood, a 40 foot tree fell on his convertible. "The car was so full of branches we couldn't see him," said the Redwood City battalion fire chief. Making matters weirder, when the fire department got there, they found a nest of baby raccoons at the bottom of the tree. They extracted convertible man, and had the Peninsula Humane Society deal with the babies. The man wasn't injured. Picture of ducklings from ABC 7...

News from the fauna! A male blue heron from Fairfield is recovering from a pellet gun wound to its wing at the International Bird Rescue Research Center. Because blue herons are protected under federal migratory bird laws, injuring a heron is a felony -- and because people love animals, there's a $5000 reward for information leading to an arrest. They're watching the bird closely because it seems very anxious to fly away (understandably). In happier local bird news, Stephen Colbert's adopted bald eagle was hatched (go to "Stephen Jr. Hatches") at the SF Zoo the day before the earthquake anniversary. Exciting! Also: it was cool when he ate the bird's placenta, to be just like Tom Cruise (go to "tip/wag Tom Cruise"). And in your last bit of local animal news, the City and County of San Francisco's been sued by a Sacramento pit bull advocacy group, over the new mandatory pit bull sterilization law. The Coalition of Human Advocates for K9s and Owners ("CHAKO"), through its attorney and founder Dawn Capp, alleges that the policy discriminates against disabled people, who should be permitted to breed pit bulls to use as guide dogs or service dogs. Check out Capp's blog for more information -- the most recent entry castigates the Denver location of the next Real World because of the city's anti-pit bull legislation....

Yay San Francisco Zoo! Not only did it win back its accreditation, but it also vaulted into Comedy Central gold with an inspired intern's (possibly unauthorized?) email to the Colbert Report show asking if Stephen Colbert would be interested in having a baby bald eagle named after him. Genius! The picture to your left is a still from the show, featuring John Ashcroft's rendition of "Let The Eagle Soar," as Stephen picked his namesake hatchling-to-be. (Click here to watch the video -- it's labeled "Stephen Jr.") According to the zoo, this is all part of its Bald Eagle Breeding Program, which was started in 1985 to repopulate California with eagles after they almost died out because of DDT. Since 1991, the SF Zoo has released 90 bald eagle chicks into the wild, and this year, the eagles have laid 17 eggs so far, one of which is Stephen Jr. When they hatch, about half of the chicks will be raised on Catalina Island, and the other half will be raised at the conservation center and released on Santa Cruz Island. Check out on the right what little fuzzy Stephen Jr. will look like when he makes it out of his chiton shell! Webcam fans, watch the eggs here (site appears to have down for now, but will hopefully come back up soon -- click on Eagle Nest Cam). John Ashcroft fans, click here for video and audio clips of "Let The Eagle Soar."...

An elderly Novato animal lover was sent to jail after getting in a fight with a trapper over a skunk. (Skunk pictured above, from CBS 5). The 82-year-old man and his wife were trying to release a skunk that the property owner had trapped. Unfortunately, a county trapper was also there. The trapper, there with his son, shouted, "Do not release the skunk, sir!", at which point he claims the man charged him. The trapper's son admits to tackling the activist in a bearhug, but says he only did it after the activist tried to take his father's gun. The trapper says after they let the activist up, he then tried to run them over with his car. The activist says he was attacked and are looking to press charges against the trapper. Does this seem vaguely like a Pepe LePew plot to anyone else? ABC 7, meanwhile, is proudly touting its coverage of cruelty to chickens through the use of "battery cages," in which up to 10 hens are squeezed into a single cage. After they aired footage taped by the East Bay Animal Advocates, Trader Joe's has agreed to stop selling battery-cage eggs under its own name (though it'll continue to sell battery-cage eggs from other producers), and the Humane Society has filed a lawsuit against the State of California, claiming that public funds were illegally used to promote battery-caging in general. ....and someone in Pleasanton saw two great horned owls going at it. Birds do it, bees do it: owlets should emerge in about a month. ...

Aw, SFist Eve -- look at the little bunny rabbit! The Oakland Animal Shelter is looking for people to help foster the 30 baby bunnies they found being illegally sold at an East Bay flea market, where they found 6-8 bunnies all crammed into a tiny box. The bunnies are too young to be spayed/neutered or to be adopted, but the shelter is running out of space for 'em. No, you may not pick one up to give as a holiday present either; the shelter won't allow it. From the small to the large -- divers raced out to free a humpback whale that had gotten entangled in crab pot lines near the Farallones Islands, just off the San Francisco coast. The whale had somehow managed to get wrapped around four times in lines weighing about 90 pounds total, which were cutting into its blubber and dragging its blowhole under water. When they freed the whale, it reportedly gave them all a quick nuzzle before swimming away (presumably as fast as possible). And starting today, the Peninsula Humane Society will begin adopting out the animals rescued from the Gulf Coast. The national Humane Society asked local shelters to wait until Dec. 15 to allow hurricane victims as long as possible to reunite with their pets. Before adopting, do note -- you may be asked to surrender it if its original owner shows up. ...

Folks are lining up for rabies shots in San Ramon, after a cute stray kitten turned out to carry the virus. Authorites estimate that about 60 people were in contact with the kitten, and that 35 people would have to get shots (including one person who was bitten). 26 other people are also getting shots as a precaution. One vet noted that the kitten had gotten a lot of attention because it was just so darned cute. "Everyone loves a kitten." Two pit bulls were euthanized in Concord today, after they killed four animals in a neighbor's yard last Friday. The owner had kenneled the two dogs but claims that they escaped when they got spooked by the thunder and lightning last week. The dogs killed their neighbors' two cats, a goat, and a bunny. Animal Control got to the scene right as the dogs were in the rabbit hutch, and they report that the dogs were so intent on the rabbit that they didn't even notice the fuzz. The dogs also killed four other animals in the neighborhood that evening. ...and we know we're stepping a little on SFist Rain's territory here -- but hey! New Animal Cops SF episodes just appeared on our TiVo! Starting next week! Yay, more Lieutenant Michael Scott! ...

So much good animal stuff! First off -- remember "Show us your tits" Koko the sign-language gorilla? Two women gorilla handlers filed a lawsuit claiming that the director of the institution kept asking them to take off their shirts because Koko liked it? Lawsuit's been settled. A grandmother and granddaughter were thrown from a horse-drawn carriage during Petaluma's Santa Parade last weekend. Right as Santa and Mrs. Claus descended from a Petaluma tugboat to begin the festivities, an officer heard a crash and saw the grandmother being thrown from the carriage. The cop chased the two ponies, and managed to grab the 7-year-old granddaughter just before the ponies crashed the carriage into a parked car. The cop then got on his motorcycle and managed to corral the ponies right by Petaluma City Hall. And an entrepeneurial young man from Redwood City attempted to make some money by ransoming off a dog he found in the neighborhood. He called the owner, said he wanted money for the dog, and asked her to meet him by a local 7-11. The dog owner called the cops, who found the boy walking the dog. He confessed right away, turned over the dog, and the owner said she wouldn't press charges. Picture of Koko from Court TV...

Remember that guy who was saved from a car crash by his faithful dog, who ran for help and barked until someone came to rescue her human companion? (Is that the right term we're using now instead of "owner"?) Well, look at that picture! Man and dog are reunited -- and it feels so good! So it turns out that human Michael Bosch slipped off his driveway down an 80-degree slope, and was pinned in his upside-down car. Cocker spaniel puppy Honey got out of the car and ran for help. Unfortunately, she didn't find help for another eight hours -- but hey, she's just a puppy! We're sure in a year or so, she'll be like, "hey, give me that cell phone, Bosch." Bosch is recovering nicely -- he'd suffered a heart attack just two months ago, so they're being careful with him. His coworkers brought Honey to the hospital, along with some chocolates, dog biscuits, and a stuffed "superdog" chewtoy. Bosch had only adopted Honey two weeks earlier! They bond to us so fast! Next up for Bosch: housebreaking. Let's hope she doesn't have to run for help again. Picture from the Marin Independent Journal...

Remember that terrorizing deer that killed a dog in Orinda? Breathe safe, ladies -- he's been rubbed out -- with one shot. The trapper making the town safe again works for the US Forest Service and had a license to shoot to kill from the California Fish and Game Department, got him last night around 7:30. This was the trapper's fifth visit to the area since the end of last month, and he'd seen a lot of deer -- but he knew he'd gotten the right one because this one had wounds consistent with a dog fight. The deer carcass was donated to the Walnut Creek Lindsay Wildlife Museum, and will be fed to the coyote and bobcat that live there. "Instead of just throwing the deer away, we decided it would be nice to donate the meat," said a spokesman from Fish and Game. Picture of WANTED poster from NBC-11...

What's going on with our four-legged friends? Well -- Oakland's passed a law making it illegal to own more than three animals in one house. You can petition to have more, but only if you can show that all the animals are registered and spayed/neutered. People who already have more than three pets are grandfathered in, but for those animals only (so you can't swap out Fluffy for Bane later or anything). This will supposedly make it easier to take legal action against the dreaded animal hoarders. We like the euphemism they use on Animal Precinct -- you're not a hoarder, you're just "overwhelmed." Across the bay, a San Francisco cop shot a pit bull charging at him as he investigated reports of squatters in the Portola District. No human injuries were suffered. In other animal-human encounters, two "terrified" campers fled their campsite on Mount Tam as two mountain lions, um, propragated their species. And the SF SPCA has just received a $13 million gift, which is the largest gift in the organization's history. They'll use the money to build a new animal hospital. The hospital will be called the Leanne Roberts Animal Care Center, in honor of a former board member of the SPCA who died in 2003 (and whose husband ponied up the cash). The hospital will be finished around 2007 -- just in time for the third season of Animal Cops SF! ...

Well, maybe they're not sending human evacuees to the Bay Area anymore, but we're definitely taking the four-legged kind -- the first organized evacuation of pets from the devastated Gulf Coast arrived at SFO yesterday afternoon. The flight had a layover in San Diego, where 50 dogs were dropped off, and then flew to San Francisco with 30 dogs and 20 cats. The airlift was organized by Texas philanthropist T. Boone Pickens, who donated $50,000 to charter the plane and is seeking more donations to charter more planes to airlift out another 30,000 animals (with about 1000 ultimately to come here). The first group of pets are going to the Marin Humane Society and the Sacramento SPCA. MHS is looking for as much help as possible with the pets -- you can donate cash, time at the shelter (cleaning kennels, doing laundry, or the dreaded "data entry"), pet supplies, or foster some of the animals (if you live in Marin). You won't be allowed to adopt the animals just yet, because MHS will be trying to reunite pets with their owners (but you can foster-to-adopt if the animals turn out to be abandoned). Photo of dog too sick to travel by crate from the Chron by Mark Costantini...

The dead whale in Half Moon Bay still hasn't exploded (the threat of that has apparently passed.) There's now a turf war over whether the Harbor District (who takes the sea) or San Mateo Parks and Rec (who takes the land) is responsible for getting the rotting carcass off the beach. Meanwhile, a shark research foundation has gotten permission to cut off some of the whale's blubber to use as shark bait. Dude, you're bumming if your dog bites a politician's dog. Burlingame city counselman Paul Prendiville is trying to get a lab-pit mix off his block after it attacked his shih-tzu. The shih-tzu's eye was pulled out of its socket, but has since been resewn back in. The owner has agreed to pay the vet bill and neuter the dog, but Prendiville wants the dog off the block entirely. Prendiville told the press, "I'm grateful that my dog is Catholic and he survived." (....um, what does that mean?) ....okay, this isn't really animal-related but hey, the witness's name is Dog! Close enough! A dump truck carrying 20 tons of dirt lost control and ran into an "adult video arcade" on Sixth and Mission in San Francisco at about 9 a.m. this morning, narrowly missing three patrons (getting an early start on the day there, guys!). Store clerk Jersey Dog said one patron was pinned against the wall but was otherwise okay. Interestingly, about a year and a half ago, the adult bookstore across the street was also hit by a runaway vehicle (a 14 Mission bus). Picture of dead whale by Judith Calson of the SJ Merc News...

Awww, look at that sweet duck. This duck is one of the survivors of last week's attack at the Campbell car wash, and was just found to have suffered a broken leg. The vets expect the duck to recover within 3-4 weeks. Meanwhile, the reward fund for information is now over $11,000. Editor and wag SFist Jackson forwards this along for the Animal Roundup, with the following note:

Beached whale! And no, I'm not talking Courtney Love.

Jake! Jake! Jake! This adorable golden retriever came in the top 20% of the 400 swimmers that participated in Saturday's Alcatraz Invitational swim meet. (Jake placed 72nd, with a time of 41 minutes and 45 seconds.) Jake's owner, Jeff Pokonowsky, is the CEO of the company Wiggle Wireless, and pledged $1 to the Guide Dogs for the Blind for every person who signed up for wireless updates on Jake's progress in the bay. (Awww, check out the video footage of Jake balancing a cheeseburger on his nose!!) According to the press release, Jake swam the doggy paddle, and politely declined the medal he was offered for completing the race. Also, Matier and Ross report that Laguna Honda has finally gotten approval to use goats to clear out the dried underbrush on their hillside that posed a fire risk to the hospital (and obscured several homeless encampments) -- but, because of the International Migratory Bird Act, they only got approval to do so after the completion of the mating season for three endangered birds: the California towhee, the white crowned warbler and the bushtit. We are totally naming our next indie rock band "Bushtit." ...

Was it not enough that we broke Dogster? (Get well soon, SFist Ted! We need you to cover the upcoming heat wave!) We've got even more bad dog news to report. Local animal shelters and pet rescue groups are asking Craigslist not to post ads for dogs and cats for sale, claiming that the website makes for easy access to a marketplace for the dreaded "backyard breeder," making a quick buck by selling inbred and ill-socialized pit bulls. The East Bay SPCA found in one month 183 listings for unneutered pit bull puppies, some as "human-aggressive." And the dog-loving number-crunchers have finished their reports, and found that pit bulls account for 27% of all known dog attacks since 2003, even though they constitute only 6% of the licensed dog population. The statisticians warn that it could be that people are likely to report pit bull attacks and less likely to register pit bulls, but still. Out of 900+ bites since 2003, 626 were traced to a specific dog. Of that 626, 169 were traced to pits. That was more than the next three species combined (German shepherds with 69, labs with 58, and rottweilers with 34). A man also tells a harrowing tale of being attacked by a pit bull in the DVD section of the SoMisPo Best Buy. Uh, who brings a pit bull to Best Buy? Were they checking out TiVos? ...

KRON 4 viewers are the best! After seeing a heartwrenching news clip on KRON 4 about a kitten stuck in a pipe for two days, a KRON 4 watcher who works as an excavator was moved to go down to the pipe and help find Smoky the cat. Thanks to his help, the rescuers were able to locate Smoky in the pipe and get her out. She's doing fine, thanks for asking! The only other animal news around here is pit bull-related. So the Peninsula Humane Society is offering $10 to anyone who brings in a pit bull to be spayed or neutered. And two pit bulls who attacked two people and three dogs at the end of May in McLaren Park were found to be "vicious and dangerous" by Animal Cops SF hero and Dog Court Judge Officer Bill Herndon, and will be euthanized. One of the dogs had mangled the hand of a guy trying to break up the fight, and the other had disemboweled (yikes!) another dog (which survived!). ...

Lotta animal news out there this week. First on everyone's mind is the situation in San Francisco concerning Nicholas Faibish, the boy mauled to death by his family's pit bulls, and buried on Wednesday. Yesterday, SF Animal Care and Control held the first of many meetings seeking public comment on how to handle pit bulls in the city. A large number of pit bull advocates were present at the meeting, and urged the city not to impose breed-specific legislation. One person said he didn't think that the dogs that mauled Faibish were even pit bulls at all. Everyone seems to agree, though, that a general requirement for spaying and neutering pit bulls in the city is a good first step. Sigh. In other animal news, the head of the SF Zoo penguin display is resigning because she got in a fight with the zoo vet about how they should have treated the penguins' recent chlamydia outbreak. We know, we know, it's not sexually transmitted in penguins -- but still, people! Ew! ...

Nick Faibish's mauling continues to send shock waves across the city -- Gavin Newsom's announced that he's starting a panel to look into possible restrictions on pit bull ownership in San Francisco. Gavin has indicated that he may ask for advice from a certain Ms. K. Guifoyle-Hemmer, who, you may recall, was previously on the SF DA's animal law team before her move out East. The panel is not expected to recommend an all-out ban on pit bull ownership in the city, but avenues for increasing Animal Care and Control's budget, like enforcing license requirements, will be explored. (What, they're not getting any money off Animal Planet?) As for the Faibish family, they're reportedly going to ask that ACC put down Rex, the male dog that attacked Nick. You probably remember that Ella, their female dog, was shot by the SFPD on the day of the incident. Authorities are speculating that the mauling may have been caused by a number of stressors, including the fact that Ella was in heat; the family was moving and everything was getting packed up; and the dogs' primary owner (Nick's father) was away in Oregon setting up their new house. And tying up some other reports, ACC reports that they had previously held Rex not for viciousness or attacking behavior, but because he was stolen and subsequently found in an arrest (thanks to his microchip). Finally, the family of the boy in Richmond who was attacked by three pit bulls in 2001 has expressed their concern and sympathy for the Faibishes, and notes that they have started a foundation to help survivors of dog maul attacks. And C.W. Nevius recalls the 80-year-old woman who survived her attack by a pit bull (in the service of decrying pro pit-bull activists). ...