Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. A Oakland teacher beats up a social worker and threatens her students -- and still can't be fired. Why can't you get a free weekly in San Leandro? Cover article: The agony of med students waiting to find out where they're going to be doctors. (It's done by computers.) Do you think male poets read Bitch Magazine? Goat meat on International Boulevard. Irish rockers on St. Patrick's Day.......

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly. First, Dianne Feinstein came for the animal rights activists, and we said nothing. What are some of the election day losers doing now? Well, Krissy Keefer has been offered $100,000 to run against Gavin Newsom. Cover article: Chron blogs editor (and SFist editor emerita) Eve Batey must save the Chronicle!! (In a travesty of justice, Eve is not mentioned in the piece. Boooo!). It's actually a pretty decent article......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. DAMN Choreography objects to an article about them with the title "Tits and Assets." It's their special East Bay politics issue! Political bloggers wreaking havoc in Alameda, that Democrat running against Pombo might actually win, hipsters are voting for Aimee Allison. The EBX recommendations, plus a genius move -- polling people about fake propositions. We liked the school vending machine tax to go to anti-bullying programs, and the......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. More letters about Cody's? Okay, ew: there's cockroaches on AC Transits, and they had a lice infestation on BART. We are totally standing up on BART for the indefinite future. Also -- Ann Coulter is accused of plagiarizing from Jane Ganahl. Is Ann Coulter also feeling bad about being single? Spider bites. A new group encouraging more people to refuse to testify before grand juries. Will SFist Jackson......

Last week's winner, the Metro! Hilarious letter from a candidate for the SJ city council that 1) misspells Ron Gonzales's name and 2) gets the date of the election wrong. (Hey Metro, why aren't your letters online?) Gary Singh had a bitch of a time trying to get a burrito in SJ on May 1. Closing down the jailhouse law libraries, and no, the SJ Fourth Street Bowl will not be closing. Chinese youth orchestra......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express: Vote for SFist in the EBX Readers' Poll! We love the chicken holding a sword with its foot in this week's Dream Comic. A company that puts prank pink flamingos on people's lawns (called "Flamingo Surprise"). Cover article: The Coup, along with that picture of their album with the World Trade Center blowing up. Rob Harvilla tells us his departure for the Village Voice isn't us, it's him. Good luck out there on the cold East Coast, Rob! Have fun with Christgau! Lit section. Hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy. And SFist Eve's horoscope: she's going to "find the passion to unite what at first glance seems like an unlikely gathering of associates." That's us over here at SFist! The SF Weekly: Vote for SFist in the SF Weekly Readers' Poll! The Apologist on the 1906 festivities, titled "Ready to Rumble." ("Honestly, I'm disgusted. This is a time to be celebrating earthquakes, not studying them." Ha!). Sucka Free City columnist (male) gives birth on Second Life. It's a girl! Cover article: Jewel thieves. Book section: The guilty pleasure of the Da Vinci Code. SFIFF. Meredith eats French! Good thing Ced's away, as we expect he was driven to heights of fury by the part where Meredith asks why a confit of rabbit isn't the same as a rabbit terrine. (We don't know the difference but we're sure our Gastronome does!). And Dan Savage infuriates bisexuals again. The Guardian and the Metro, after the jump, along with the Weekly of the Week....

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly. Hey, PUNI's back! So brilliant, we're using it as the WRTW picture this week -- it's brilliant because it's true! Matt Smith finally gets a cover article, on venture capital investments in grassroots organizing. He seems unusually enthusiastic about it, for him (i.e., "This might not suck."). Are you an apologist for Arlene Ackerman? Meredith starts off this week's review with "I haven't really been living in the Bay Area for the past month." Ced's thoughts on this! Where's the rest of the food critics this week? And Dan Savage's back on his game, with a Spanking The Monkey scenario, and a spanking the monkey scenario. Extra bonuses: Santorum, and a letter from the editor of the Economist. Really! Next up, the East Bay Express: Jokes about the Chronicle's photo department in Bottom Feeder. Why doesn't anyone care that the Oakland schools may go on strike? Rallies for two Korean men shot to death by the Dublin police. Cover: video documentaries about life on the street -- pretty interesting! Down In Front's looking for a new favorite band now that Grandaddy's broken up -- criteria listed (lyrics about drinking, female bass player). Look at these adorable punk kids in this band called the Matches!! Cuuuuuute! And new word: "Yahdidahbooboo," used as an interjection. The Guardian, the Metro, and the pick of the week after the jump. Yahdidahbooboo! Also, image from this week's PUNI, by Dan Siegler. Impeach Bush AND Daly! ...

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...