Oh, those crazy hot-tubbing, wife-swapping, Al Qaeda-loving Marin County folk. It seems that now they're scalping their own children in an effort to tidy up the remaining Cosco Busan oil spill disaster. Students from Larkspur's Marin Primary and Middle School have willing lopped off locks of hair from their nubile heads, then donating said hair to Eco-Cuts, "a program designed by Marin Primary to help in the cleanup effort triggered by the Nov. 7......

Okay, here's an update on that lawsuit against AT&T and the Federal Government for illegally snooping on people's phone calls and e-mails. Basically, there are about seventeen similar lawsuits out there in the midst of the legal world and because they're all sort of similar-- whiny Al Queda supporters suing the telecoms and government for doing something unconstitutional, they've been mashed together into one big lawsuit sandwich. That sandwich will be heard in San Francisco's very own Federal Court by one U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker. The reasoning is because out of all the various suits out there, the AT&T one is the most advanced. Bully to the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation and how awesome would it be if they started their own University just so people could say they go to EFF U?) and the ACLU for being on the ball. ...

We'll be straight with you -- we're having a hard time following the whole "is Annemarie Conroy qualified" debacle that's been afoot for the past few days -- something about a report being released and how the Office of Emergency Services isn't really prepared for an earthquake? C'mon, guys, all they need is enough water and power bars to get through the first 72 hours! So apparently Conroy put in for more money than she......

Everyone's still talking about the tolltaker at the Golden Gate Bridge who was shot in a robbery attempt. (No, not just the $5 toll, an actual robbery attempt!) It's very cool that bridge security caught the shooter so quickly (within moments of the shooting). The tolltaker is recovering, and the tolljumper's been charged with robbery and attempted murder. A house in Burlingame continues to be targeted by a mentally disturbed man. The man in question had first spray-painted the phrase "Satanic Cult Here" on the house about nine months ago, and smashed up the homeowner's truck. When confronted by police, the man readily admitted to the acts, and accused the homeowner of "Satan worship, money laundering, and Al Qaeda ties." Yesterday, elderly neighbors observed two minor fires burning at the door and the side of the house, which they put out with a garden hose. The police suspect arson, and the homeowner and renters suspect the mentally disturbed man. And maybe just stick with getting cash back off the ATM card at Safeway for now -- a woman has been robbing those little bank branches inside local grocery stores around the Bay Area. ...

So apparently everyone was shocked -- shocked! -- to hear that someone wanted to kill our dearest President George W. Bush. Of course, SFist's first thought was to call most of our friends to make sure it wasn't them. After all, George Bush probably doesn't come here very often (ever?) for a reason. Heck, if we got close enough, we might even take one for the team. We say 'might' because we don't want......

Bay Area crime roundup...

Taking the art of self-absorption to new and previously-unseen heights, a 22-year-old San Franciscan, Ben Vanderford, has acknowledged that he faked a videotape of his own beheading in Iraq. He originally taped the beheading a few months ago to drum up interest in his campaign for (what else?) Matt Gonzalez�s District 5 Supervisor seat. (He was running as an independent). However, when he lost interest in the run, he nonetheless decided to keep the video up on his website "as social commentary." He made fake blood, filmed the beheading at a friend�s house in Pleasanton, spliced in footage of mutilated bodies from Hamas websites, claimed to have been murdered by Al Qaeda's Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, and modified the video to make it look "less high-quality." The video was found and reported as true earlier last week by the AP (which about 90 minutes later then was forced to somewhat embarrassedly report it a hoax)....

SFist can hold it for a long time, which is why we never even knew there were bathrooms at BART stations. Our understanding was that you were supposed to pee in the elevators like everyone else. And now that we know there are bathrooms, SFist figures that they would be used for more important things like washing up after your last trick, copping a fix or meeting another guy for some anonymous fun. Still, some of our less bladder-endowed friends have been complaining that whenever Tom Ridge gets all Orange-alert on the country, like when Democrats are all over the headlines, BART locks down the bathrooms....