At 11 a..m. (PST) today, radio broadcasters and TV will take part in the first-ever nationwide emergency alert system test. Although emergency alert system tests have been done at the local level, we've never had one performed at the national level. This type of alert should come on handy when, say, slimy aliens attack (because they will), nuclear warfare erupts, a huge comet comes barreling toward planet Earth (you must see Melancholia; it's an actual masterpiece), or Harold Camping's premonitions of apocalyptic doom come true. more ›

"This is no joke, no lie, no delusion," claims the Craigslist ad, UFOs were spotted hovering above the City last night. It seems. At least according to a lunatics and/or pranksters in the Mission. (Where else?) Two people enjoying a day at Dolores Park saw shiny saucers that "looked exactly like the white lights in the day sky over Guadalajara from 2004. They formed a perfect isosceles triangle over Dolores Park, and many appeared afterwards." Did you also do too many mushrooms see these unidentified flying objects of light and mystery, too? (Mission Mission, via 40 going on 28) more ›

In case any slimy, green Maritans appear, brandishing pointy laser guns--and all experts agree that there will be--keep track of them and the Mars Phoenix Lander on Twitter. It's scheduled to land on Mars this evening at 4:53 p.m. (PDT). Or so. more ›

Yesterday, Mayor Newsom signed into action the Tommy Ammiano-introduced legislation that requires the city to handout ID cards to undocumented immigrants and other residents who either can't or just won't apply for driver's licenses. The good news is that these IDs will help (formerly) undocumented residents gain access to the wonderful world of banking, a sense of peace before calling the fuzz, as well as "health services at city-run clinics, public library privileges, and resident discounts at museums and other cultural institutions." (Entry fee discounts at the Exploratorium: the American dream realized.) more ›