The Examiner reported on Thursday night that they obtained a never-before-released police interview with the Brothers Kulbir and Amritpal “Paul” Dhaliwal regarding the 2007 Siberian tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo, which resulted in the death of 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr.. This exclusive report, released just in time for the third anniversary of the incident, promised a "tasty treat" in its headline, which turned out to be the fact that the three victims were eating nachos at some point before Tatiana the tiger escaped her enclosure and attacked them.

This revelation hardly has much relevance, as the article states: "The taped interviews, however, still do not reveal what happened that day, when police had to shoot the tiger to death after the attack." Inspector Valerie Matthews, who headed the investigation, questioned the brothers about whether they threw any nachos at Tatiana, but the two denied doing anything to taunt the tiger, whom Paul Dhaliwal referred to in his progressive lingo as a "fool."

In essence, an Examiner commenter (according to an SFist commenter) had the same scoop three years ago.

The victims (instigators?) of the Christmastime tiger mauling that left their (sort of) friend, Carlos Sousa Jr., dead, Kulbir and Amritpal Dhaliwal will receive a cool $900.000 from the San Francisco Zoo. According to SF Chronicle, this settlement by the zoo "resolves claims the brothers brought in U.S. District Court against the city, zoo and Sam Singer, a crisis public relations consultant the zoo hired after the attack." The brothers' lawsuit, among other claims, says that the SF Zoo failed at "keeping the 243-pound Siberian tiger named Tatiana in an enclosure that had walls 4 feet lower that what is recommended by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums." It also says that Kulbir Dhaliwal "wasn't attacked until after an employee refused to allow him into the safety of a zoo cafe." Which, yeah, regardless of what you think of the hoodlum brothers, that's kind of cold. Anyway, the Dhaliwal brothers will split the money, which is sure to buy all of the Grey Goose, Drakkar Noir, and criminal defense attorneys they will ever need.

Big-cat attack survivor Kulbir Dhaliwal, who saw his fame quotient skyrocket last year after Tatiana the tiger escape from her grotto and went on a fatal rampage, was handed ten days in jail after pleading guilty to public intoxication and resisting arrest. This incident happened before the Tatiana killed the Dhaliwal's "friend" Carlos Sousa, Jr. The Dhaliwal brothers, it seems, "were arrested Sept. 7, 2007, after they scuffled with San Jose police who tried to stop them after seeing them chase two men down the street." But wait, it gets better! Kulbir also "cursed at officers while kicking the security partition in a squad car, forcing police to pull him out and put him in leg restraints."

Looking to get a few well-earned bucks out of the city for the Christmas Day tiger attack that claimed the life of their (alleged) friend Carlos Sousa Jr., Amritpal and Kulbir Dhaliwal have filed claims against the city. Finally. And our sources sent SFist a copy of the claim! (We'll try to get that up for you shortly.)

In addition to rightfully accusing San Francisco for for Tatiana's fatal mauling spree last December,which also sent the brothers to the hospital for several days, Geragos' firm also claims that the brothers "have been defamed by a public relations firm, acting as an agent of the city and county of San Francisco and the San Francisco Zoo. Members of the public relations firm, including but not limited to Sam Singer, made false statement's about Claimant's on the date of the attack."

Oh, and one of the brother is also whining that he was "wrongfully deprived" of his 2002 BMW M3, which was impounded. The poor dear.

In related news: OH MY GOD, Amritpal Dhaliwal, 19, was arrested last night at the Bayfair Center trying to shoplift a pair of Nintendo Wii controllers from Target. (His scars are still visible on his forehead, according to police. Aw.) Hope this doesn't hurt their credibility, or lack thereof, when their claim turns into a lawsuit and heads to court.

Oh my God, you guys, no way. Get this: the New York Post was wrong. What's next: Intelligent Design? Celebrity weddings? Our meth-induced epiphanies that the CIA, in cahoots with the Norteños, are reading our emails and listening in on our phone calls? See, it seems that "[n]o slingshots have been found" and that the NY Post was wrong. And we refuse to believe anything Rupert Murdoch-related is less than perfect.

Thankfully, according to Dan Noyes, San Francisco Police Department. Sgt. Steve Manina did confirm that "the brothers had a vodka bottle in their car that night." (Grey Goose? Smirnoff? Mixed with Mountain Dew? These details are most critical, people.) Because there ain't no party, like a vodka-drinking, tiger-taunting SF Zoo party, right? Right.