Matt Gonzalez: "I'm sorry, SFist Elaine, but I've gotta run."
SFist Elaine: "We've only been dating for five minutes, and you're already breaking up with me?"
Matt Gonzalez: "No, I just can't stand how Luke Thomas is always crashing our dates."
Luke Thomas: "She's mine, Matt!"
Matt Gonzalez: "Whatev, Luke. SFist Elaine and I have a special connection."
SFist Elaine: "So you're not breaking up with me? We don't have to be serious. I'm kinda seeing other people."
Luke Thomas: "Um, including me. Duh!"
Matt Gonzalez: "Quit salting my game, bitch!"
SFist Elaine: "It's really OK, Matt. Thanks for inviting me and SFist Rita to your opening reception at Lincart on April 19th. Do you mind if I bring Luke?"
Matt Gonzalez: "Are you kidding? Next thing, you're going to tell me you've been exchanging Facebook messages with Dan Noyes."
SFist Elaine: "Well..."

Photo of Matt Gonzalez and SFist Elaine courtesy of rumored boyfriend candidate, Luke Thomas

Image replaced to avoid hotlinking. Photo of Tina Turner's cat courtesy of the Institute for Private Dancing Studies.