WE LOVE IT WHEN ROSS MIRKARIMI SAVES THE DAY!!!!!! Remember when he stopped a robbery? And then when he saved the life of a guy in Buena Vista Park? And today, he caught two people involved in a drive-by shooting!!! (Thanks to commenter Rah for calling our attention to the story!)

Ross Mirkarimi, the supervisor for the Western Addition/Lower Haight's District 5, was out for a jog this morning around 9:45 a.m. (guess Ross doesn't get into the office early) when he heard gunshots near Fulton and Steiner. (possibly the shots heard by one of our readers?) He called the cops, who then swung by and picked him up in the cruiser to help him find the suspect. Thanks to Ross's good work, two suspects were (gasp!) arrested later in the day.

Ross, we hope you're also reading SFist these days, because that would be too awesome if two SFist readers in District 5 helped solve two different crimes in two days!!! Sorry if we're embarrassing you by bringing up all your other lifesaving acts, though. (The papers have always said that Ross doesn't like to brag about his heroism to the press. SO ADORABLE.)

After the jump: the text of the message the SFPD sent out about Ross's involvement in the arrest. LOVE!!!!!

Picture of Ross from the Prog Con, by Steve Rhodes. Bless Steve Rhodes's heart for tagging his pictures "Creative Commons Licensed" in flickr!

Maybe it was the heat. There were four serious attacks in SF last night, one of which were fatal. Here's the time line, from CBS 5/Bay City News.

--around 9:20 p.m.: shooting at Taylor and Market in the Loin. One victim hit in the arm.

--around 10:00 p.m.: shots fired in Sunnydale (can Dede Wilsey help with that?). Victim found with four gunshot wounds, one in each arm and two in the chest. Injuries considered non-life-threatening.

--around 11:00 p.m.: shots fired in the Bayview. Victim found with a gunshot wound in the back. Injury considered non-life-threatening; and

--around 2 a.m.: homicide victim found at UN Plaza (the Civic Center station) near McAllister, one block away from the Hastings Law School. Victim died of multiple stabbing wounds.

Update: And this afternoon, they discovered two dead bodies in a house in Ingleside. Witnesses reported hearing a scream late last night, but thinking nothing of it. One of the owners of the house was seen talking to the police and later leaving with the investigators.

Picture of the Hastings campus.

Bad series of news items for the SFPD -- the rookie cop who accidentally shot himself at a party earlier this month when trying to demonstrate tips on gun safety was legally drunk (just barely), and that cop, Jesse Serna, who keeps (allegedly) beating up people like Barry Bonds' trainer and Willie Brown's friends in North Beach just got the city sued again, this time for beating up a doctor starting his residency at Harvard (whose case was previously profiled by the Chron.)

Ommmmmmmm-igosh! A lady accidentally set her Sausalito house on fire while meditating. Well, she had lit all the candles to meditate, then left the house, and came back and the living room was on fire.

And HEY!!! You know we love the LOLCAT hilarity of perennial commenter-of-the-week KWillets, right? Well, he's on ABC 7!!! As you guys may know, KWillets has been running a camera outside his house to monitor criminal activities in the housing project across the street. Well, last night, the camera caught a guy mugging a woman (a tourist). KWillets turned in the footage and the SFPD (gasp!) made an arrest. Yay!!! We love it when SFist readers get in the news!!!! Plus: KWillets is a hero. Watch the clip here.

It's KWillets!!!! We're so proud!!!!

Some very sad news.

According to Bay City News, "[t]wo men among the midday shoppers" smashed the storefront window at Gucci (Union Square) and stole an undisclosed amount of jewelry. No one has yet to be arrested for the luxury-store violation.

During midday? Really? Wow. Were they super villains? Because how else did they evade capture in the afternoon light? Someone at Burning Man is found and arrested for flicking their Bic during a total lunar eclipse, but in Union Square, it's a smash-and-grab free-for-all. The SFPD was probably wasting time over in the Western Addition or Hunter's Point. Will they ever learn?

We expect this kind of behavior at Loehmann's, not Gucci.

During last night's total lunar eclipse in Black Rock City, Nevada, someone set the Burning Man figure ablaze prematurely. Chortle.

Hey, maybe that was their art? Their statement? Their message? Or their coke pipe exploded? Still, not cool according to Black Rock City firefighters, eclipse fans, and festival organizers. Police swiftly arrested the arson suspect.

No reports of any injuries, serious or otherwise. Except, of course, the apparently indescribable vibe on the Playa, which was almost killed.

UPDATE: it seems that the alleged arsonist, Paul Addis, had a moonbean to grind with Burning Man, is a Hunter S. Thompson's fan (oh, good Lord), and wrote a play called Gonzo. Read more about it here or here.

Burning Man burning image credit: Carlos Avila Gonzalez; Addis' image: RGJ; Addis' makeup: Chanel

Well THIS is juicy: a restraining order, freshly filed by the THC, explains at least one of their recent firings:

Defendant is ... the former general manager of the Mission Hotel ... THC discovered defendant had been involved in criminal activity, including extortion, assaults, and threats of violence ... The conduct is ongoing.

Yikes. Turns out, the guy was fired weeks ago, but he's been stalking people from the THC, and got back into the hotel to threaten some more folks. The THC has filed a restraining order which is all very nice and pleasant but OH GOD WHY THE FUCK ISN'T HE UNDER ARREST?

Defendant is a dangerous and reputed gang member of the Nortenos. Employees and tenants at Mission Hotel are fearful of violence. Defendant is very angry ... he also continues to extort money from the Mission Hotel tenants.

So, how'd they catch the guy? Our sources (commenting on condition of anonymity, which we think is very wise) say that it was video footage that kicked off an investigation. Video footage! And as you'll recall, the THC recently sent a takedown notice to a guy who was videotaping and publicizing all the nastiness around the Seneca Hotel.

We asked a THC staffer what they'd do if Jeff refused their order to take down his camera. They replied that they really didn't know. Well, Jeff's called their bluff:

I am hereby requesting a written statement regarding the consequences of any future videotaping.

Yeesh, what a messy business. Whatever happens next is bound to be unpleasant. But then again -- you cast your lot with criminals and crazies, that's what you get.

Remember the Jamba Juice hepatitis A scare? And remember how we said there were gymnasts competing in a national meet in San Jose a few weeks ago? Well -- you guessed it -- it turns out the gymnasts might have been exposed to the virus. The hepatitis A carrier made smoothies for the gymnasts during the meet and in the trade shows outside. She claims she used good hygiene and food safety practices throughout (wearing gloves, for instance), so the chance of infection is fairly low, but they're warning gymnasts anyways. Hey, while we're on the topic of gymnasts, does anyone else remember the movie American Anthem? So good.

Katherine Roubos, a recent Stanford graduate abroad in Uganda this summer on a journalism internship, is facing protests and calls for her deportation, after writing a series of articles about the struggles of the Ugandan gay and lesbian rights movement. Protest leaders in the "Interfaith Rainbow Coalition Against Homosexuality" organized a 200 person rally against Roubos, where an official proclaimed that the government had no intention of decriminalizing homosexuality in Uganda and criticized foreign journalists writing on the topic.

And a 16-year-old boy was shot at 4 p.m. on San Bruno Avenue (sounds like in the Mission because the SFPD gang task force is looking into it, but the story doesn't say.) Also, while on our way for a burrito for dinner last night around 7 p.m., we saw what looked like a pedestrian hit by a car on 16th and Mission. Any info on that?

When you're delivering 3 gallons of GHB (the “date rape drug”) from areas north to San Francisco, maybe you should stick to the speed limit. A fool from L.A. was pulled over for speeding in Sonoma County when cops found the offending liquid in the car. Homeboy probably would have gotten off with just a ticket, but instead decided to act all sketchy, causing the CHP to search his car.

The GHB, worth around $400,000 (wow) is now being analyzed to determine its origin. Huh. Science is way more advanced than we realized. Our old roommate used to make the stuff at a prestigious West Coast university's lab. We have to wonder if it’s really traceable. If so, it’s a good thing said ex-roomie drank it all himself, and never even thought about sharing it with us. Or did he and we just didn’t know it? Hmmm. We did wake up one morning with a...and a...in our...which was… That bastard! Ha ha. We jest.

The perp said he was on his way to a party in SF. We can’t imagine where. Any ideas? Can we get on the list next time?

Even when used recreationally and without intent to take advantage of others, we don’t really get GHB. Any drug that makes you puke, pork, poop, pig out, and pass out, and not in the order that would actually be awesome (and slimming), just doesn’t seem that fun. Guess we’re getting old.

Firings! Lies! Non-lies! It's so fucking exciting!

A few hours after our post last week about Jeff's cameras in the THC's Seneca Hotel, we caught word of some firings. OMG did we get someone canned? Well, no. As it turns out, two folks were terminated at a different property (here's the job posting for their replacements), but it wasn't related to the cameras. Whatever the real reasons are for the firings, they cannot possibly live up the wildly salacious rumors floating around about them. Alas, we can't verify any of the SHOCKING gossip, so we'll have to leave it to your fevered imaginations to speculate wildly in the comments. If there's a lesson here, it's probably that when so many of your staffers are former clients, the rumors about them are bound to have a messy foundation.

So what's going on with the cameras? When last we checked in, the THC said that the city attorney told them the cameras were illegal; and then the city attorney said, "no we didn't." OMGZ! The THC are such LIARS!

Well, actually, no. It was just a case of different city lawyers giving different advice without consulting with each other. Jeff told us that the city's latest story is that his cameras ARE illegal: they are revealing the identity of welfare recipients, which is apparently against the law because God forbid taxpayers see all the drug dealing that they're paying for.

But wait. Is Jeff revealing the identity of welfare recipients? Jeff doesn't know for sure who's getting public assistance and who isn't. Only the city and the THC staff know for sure which residents are on welfare; so if anyone's revealing identities, isn't it them? What is Jeff revealing that you couldn't see from just glancing in the windows? We can point at a girl on the bus and say "I bet she's got the clap," but unless we're her doctor (we're not), the accusation is only credible if you're the kind of Gullible Gus who believes everything he hears.

Oh and PS, the THC has security cameras of their own. Of course, they don't put the footage up on YouTube ... which we think is a damn shame.

Uh oh! Did you stop by the Jamba Juice on Lincoln Avenue in Willow Glen in San Jose any time during the first two weeks of August? An employee may have given you hepatitis A. Turns out one of the food handlers didn't realize she was sick and she might have given it to you if she didn't wash her hands properly. If you were at the JJ from August 9-16, get a shot. If you were there from August 1-8, watch for symptoms (diarrhea, fatigue, jaundice), because the shot won't work for you anymore. Jamba Juice says that the store has been thoroughly cleaned, no one has come down with symptoms, the chances of getting the disease are small, and if you do come down with hep A, they'll reimburse you. Hep A is fairly rare in San Jose -- there were only 25 cases last year and for this year, only 6.

Samson Wong, the editor of Asianweek, reports that a local Asian media group has rejected an apology from the San Francisco Neighborhood Theater Foundation for screening Sixteen Candles in Dolores Park a few weeks ago, because of its negative portrayal of Asian-Americans. Wait, wasn't Samson Wong the person saying just a few months ago that people should be allowed to express whatever race-based beliefs they had and he didn't have a problem with that?

And sorry we forgot to get to this yesterday -- Rachel Gordon at the Chron reported that we're at an all-time high of 34 deaths on San Francisco traffic-related accidents this year, with three deaths just last week (one at Park Presidio and Balboa, one in the Castro, and one in SoMa near the Embarcadero). And your most dangerous intersections: Oak and Octavia, Gough and Market, Park Presidio and Fulton, 19th and Sloat, and Broadway and Van Ness. Step lively, folks.

We've got some follow-up news on Blotter items covered previously!

In response to allegations by deceased Stanford engineering grad student May Zhou's father earlier this week that his daughter's death was a homicide and not self-inflicted, the Santa Rosa police released additional information from their investigation. Namely, they said they have videotape and receipts of her buying four bottles of sleeping pills from local drugstores in two days, and they have an email she sent to her younger sister a few days before she disappeared that reads like a suicide note. Three of the bottles were found in the trunk along with her body.

Remember Chris Dobbins, the 35-year-old Oakland school board member who said there was some big misunderstanding about a weird-sounding friendship with a 17 year old girl but that nothing untoward happened? Well, the Oakland school board did an investigation and turned up some inappropriate-looking emails ("Dearest [student's name] (that sounds cheesy but I mean it).... I have some songs I would like to play for you but that would just get me in further trouble"), as well as some late-night rendez-vous (though Dobbins denies kissing her anywhere except on the cheek). The board has censured him and called for him to resign.

And in the murder case of Cambodian immigrant Sany San, who was brutally raped and assaulted on her way to work in San Jose, the court has ruled that the papers in the court file that detail what happened in the assault will be made available to the public, at the SJ Merc News's request. The defense attorneys for the accused are planning to file an appeal, claiming that the allegations in the papers are so "highly inflammatory" that their clients won't be able to get a fair trial if they're released.

Picture of Chris Dobbins from his MySpace page.

Okay, there's a very troubling article in today's New York Times about a road trip with Laura Albert (reg. req'd.).

Laura Albert is, of course, the 41-year-old mother and local literary scenester who made up the character of JT LeRoy, and then got her sister in law to dress up (in shades and a blond wig) as the gay, male, former teen hustler when his purported "memoir" hit the big time. Albert was later sued in a spectacular car wreck of a litigation by a production company for fraud, where she claimed that JT LeRoy was some type of alter ego multiple personality but didn't deny pretending to be him to make money.

Anyways, so for some reason, she agreed to let a New York Times reporter meet her in SF and then road-trip down 101 to LA to meet a friend of hers. You have to read this whole thing to get the full flavor of the disaster this turned into, but: 1) it took her seven hours to pack (author notes that the drive itself took about the same amount of time), 2) talks about JT Leroy like he exists, and 3) gets busted numerous times lying to people (i.e., telling people that her house was destroyed by the twister in Brooklyn. She lives in SF!)

Also, her cell phone is set to a Star Trek ringtone and we think (but are not sure) they're referring to that local literary scene S&M rape trial when they say she's talking to people about a friend getting acquitted in a criminal case, This is really one of the saddest articles we've read in awhile.

JT Leroy accourtrements-inspired picture by unstablelandscape, off flickr.

Alarmists of SF: We just received an word via AlertSF that:

6th Street between Market and Mission closed to all traffic due to police activity. Do NOT call 911 for information regarding this event.

Sounds scary. Like, worse than when they closed that same strip to film that God-awful Rent.

We hear it's a bomb threat, possibly at the Seneca Hotel Desmond Hotel. Any news? Deborah blames a paranoid tweaker.

Let us know if you have more info, kids.

Update: Chron has some info here. Seems that the street closure was over some old guy's potentially explosive souvenir from when he served in the war between the states. Or whenever. But for now, all's clear.

More blotter-type news today -- sorry they're kind of downers.

First up, remember May Zhou, the Stanford graduate student who was found dead in her car trunk in Santa Rosa? Well, her father remains convinced it was not a suicide, and cites a private autopsy report he's commissioned that shows blunt force trauma injuries. The offical police report, by contrast, showed no trauma injuries but did indicate toxic levels of Benadryl in her system. Zhou's father will not name the pathologist who conducted the private autopsy, or release his report to the police, though, saying it would jeopardize the investigation. The police say they will certainly look into the matter again and see if a murder was in fact committed.

Richard Gambord, a man with multiple sclerosis is distraught after learning that Quinn, his missing 15-month-old golden retriever service dog, was found dead and then disposed of in a rendering plant as roadkill. Quinn, wearing his purple service jacket, had escaped from Gambord's car after Gambord had gotten in an accident. Gambord had searched a week for Quinn, and Caltrans's stated policy is that dogs and cats that are hit on the road aren't taken to the roadkill dump. The employee who found Quinn said he didn't see the purple jacket or collar indicating that Quinn was a service dog and went ahead and sent him to the rendering plant.

And hey, you know that guy who drove off the San Mateo Bridge that we told you about earlier today? Turns out the accident was his fault -- he made kind of a weird right turn.

Currently on sabbatical at the psychiatric unit of San Francisco County jailhouse for trying to beat the holy hell out of Nobel Prize winner Elie Wiesel -- and also hopped up on meds to soothe his lack of mental clarity , which supposedly triggered the violent incident -- the apologetic 23-year-old Eric Hunt will go to trial on September 4.

Staring down the barrel of six felony charges -- i.e., attempted battery, stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, elder abuse, and false imprisonment of an elder, each count also tagged with a hate crime allegation -- it will be interesting to see how this plays out since Hunt reportedly suffers from bipolar disorder. Which type of bipolar is unclear as of now.

According to Hunt's lawyer, this incident "came about as a result of a psychiatric condition and not anti-Semitism and hatred." He could receive up to seven years in prison and a $100,000 fine, said prosecutors.

Oy is right.

[sorry we're late today!]

Close call! A truck driver careened off the San Mateo Bridge yesterday afternoon, but managed to miss both the bay and a shed full of explosive material right by the bridge. The driver missed the shed by mere feet -- it sounds kind of like an exciting ending to an action-adventure movie (San Mateo -- the hit of the summer!). They had to use two tow trucks to get the truck off the side of the bridge. Fortunately, the truck was empty or it probably would have gone straight into the shed (and then, boom.)

More Your Black Muslim Bakery news: the attorney for the handyman (with the awesomeness of the name LeRue Grim) who's been arrested for journalist Chauncey Bailey's murder is now saying that the handyman was told to take the fall for the head of the bakery, Yusuf Bey IV. Bey and the handyman were apparently put in a room together during the interrogation but for some reason, the Oakland PD didn't tape their conversation. Also, per a tip from a gentle reader (thanks, gentle reader!), check out LeRue Grim's attorney disciplinary record. Sex with a 20-year-old wife of a client? Oh my! (More stuff here too.)

And a guy who worked with Jerry Brown in law enforcement at the state Dept. of Justice has resigned after getting busted for a DUI.

Picture of the San Mateo Bridge by Beej Jorgensen, off flickr.

Update:

Yikes.

According to Bay City News, a fatal hit-and-run in the Castro took the life of a "45- to 50-year-old skater" (!?) 60-year-old man 77-year-old Roger Tennyson (or maybe someone else, or Rainbow Brite -- the victim's stats keep changing today) near Duboce Park at around 1:30 a.m. this morning.

This comes on the heels of another hit-and-run incident: a member of the Canadian Navy was fatally stuck at Howard Street and the Embarcadero on Saturday morning by "someone driving a silver or gray Mercedes Benz with front-end and windshield damage."

If you have any tips on either hit-and-run, do call SFPD at 415-553-9516.

(Chron, via Bay City News)

Update: See Paul's comment below about why they had to do what they did, and what they're doing about it.

Are there quiet, law-abiding people on Sixth Street? Sure, but it's hard to stand out when your neighborhood looks like something out of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome -- take a walk down 6th, especially at night, and you'll find yourself surrounded by brawls, the mentally ill, drug deals, screaming gibberish, glazed-over eyes, and people lurching unpredictably or just leaning against whatever they can find, waiting around for who knows what.

Sixth is a magnet for the unlucky poor. Some of them might benefit from rehab and job training, but many would not -- their damage is permanent, the result of brain-corroding drug addition or mental illness, and often both. In a perfect world, someone would pay for them to be institutionalized; but for these folks, the money isn't there. And even if it was, you can't lock up someone who wants to be free; and besides, the state's too busy buying unworn suits to pay for lifelong inpatient care. So until they pass away, they've got to go somewhere.

Organizations like The Tenderloin Housing Clinic cluster on 6th, serving as containment for many of these folks. On 6th, the THC is distant from most citizens' daily destinations -- so people who can't take care of themselves have a place to loiter, and most San Franciscans never even see them.

Until a year ago, when a guy named Jeff set out to raise up 6th Street's visibility. His jarring footage was drawing lots of eyes -- but now the THC has set out to stop him.

Yet another pedestrian hit by yet another MUNI bus in the Richmond -- this time, the 1 California at 22nd Ave. Plus, Caltrain hit a car this morning too.

More murder counts for the SF Crime Blog -- a man was shot to death in the Bayview, at Innes and Mendell. This is murder number 69 for the year, and you'll be unsurprised to hear that the cops have no leads. Hey, SF Crime Blog, we don't suppose it'd be possible to maybe do a list of the murders for last year so we could compare how we're doing, or maybe indicate which murders have been solved by the SFPD, would it? (Yeah, we feel a little bad being all like, "do more!" when we haven't done nothing ourselves, but your blog is just such a great resource is all we're saying!)

And they're bumming in San Jose -- they're at risk of losing the title of "Safest Big City in America," because of a rash of car thefts in 2006 (a 25% increase from 2005). Their murder rate stayed about the same (26 murders lin 2005, 29 in 2006), while the rape rate decreased. Their mayor totally had the right response, which was "While the title is significant, I'm more concerned about the jump in auto thefts and property crime." Safest Big City prognosticators say the title's probably going to go to Honolulu this year as a result. The FBI is expected to announce 2006's winner some time in October.

Devaughndre Broussard, 19 -- the infamous handyman at Your Black Muslim Bakery who is/was at the top of the list of Bailey's murder suspects -- says that he was "ordered by someone" to say that he killed Chauncey. At least that's what his lawyer, LeRue Grim, now claims.

According to the Chronicle, Grim wouldn't say who peer pressured Broussard. He did mention that said person "was tied to the Oakland bakery and had been present during the police interrogation of Broussard." (Cue Law & Order sound.)

When asked whether Broussard feels betrayed, Grim said, "Yeah, he sure does." Which? Duh.

Read Chron's story here.

Upwards of 50 people, including representatives from the offices of Mayor Gavin Newsom, Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi and Senator Carole Migden, participated in a Peace Walk and Vigil starting from the Boys and Girls Club in Haight-Ashbury.

Yesterday marked the first anniversary of the slaying of Aubrey Abrakasa from 30 rounds of automatic weapon fire at Grove and Baker. There's a reward posted by the SFPD here for information relating to this case. And on it goes.

Sure, it's now (oddly enough) cool and obligatory for people in the Bay Area to label themselves as "self-described nerds" or "self-described geeks." (And anyone outside of the 18- to 25-year-old range is inherently uncool, right?) But there's a dark side to holding such an annoying title.

As reported in the Chronicle today, Marlon Pagtakhan, 29, a Burlingame nerd and "rabid text messager," -- who was arrested several years ago for stalking Seven of Nine/Kirsten Cohen's bitch enabler -- just got nabbed. Again. This time for "stalking, harassing and threatening" an Illinois female wrestler and Hayward wrestling club members.

The article goes on to say that Pagtakhan "wrestled with the Hayward club at one point but was asked to leave because he was 'weird.'" Which? Wow. You must be exceptionally bizarre to get kicked out of a wresting salon.

And stalking isn't at all funny, we know, but...chortle. We almost feel bad for the poor guy. Scared of him, hell yes. But also bad. Anyway, Pagtakhan's bail was set at a whopping $800,000, and he'll appear in court on Aug. 23.

The Night Stalker police sketch credit: Don't know, probably Beelzebub himself--this image scared the hell out us when we were young.

According to NPR, it seems both Los Angeles and San Francisco are in the habit of slashing the tires of and beating the crap out of our dear meter maids -- now more than ever before.

The absurdity of SF's parking ticket-dispensing habits aside, this is awful.

A year ago, we saw a couple of altercations on Valencia Street, with vile douche bags puffing up their flaccid feathers at hard-working meter maids (meter-men? parking attendants?), but we had no idea that this was getting physical, increasingly so.

NPR also claims that the California Assembly plans to "double the maximum fine for assault on parking enforcement officers."

Thanks to one of our tipsters for the info.

Huh -- remember that huge fight we all got into about whether or not to put cameras at high-crime intersections in SF? Turns out the cameras at the public housing sites are pretty much useless. To wit, they've only been used for evidence in two cases, neither of which were the homicides that they said the cameras would help solve. Whether this is because cameras don't deter crime, or because the restrictions that the civil libertarians have put on the camera usage is debatable. Also, it could just be that the cameras we have aren't great, and are particularly not useful at night, when most of the crimes occur.

Matier and Ross report that Attorney General Jerry Brown, the man in charge of enforcing the law in California, had his car broken into a few blocks from City Hall, where it was parked outside the State Building. We're just impressed Jerry Brown managed to find street parking on Golden Gate Avenue.

And finally -- who's looking for more news about crime in San Francisco? We got sent a link to the new blog San Francisco Crime, which is not only putting up regular updates about assaults and gunshots and the like, but is also keeping that ongoing 2007 murder log for San Francisco that we've been meaning to try and compile but still haven't gotten around to, along with a list of suspicious deaths. Man, there's no need for us to even try to compile a Blotter anymore, this website's really good! Where are you getting all this stuff, San Francisco Crime? Do you have a police radio blotter? Can we borrow it if you do?

Fun video: A San Francisco-based officer from the Federal Protective Service gets mad at skaters. Now, granted, this thing was probably highly edited and we certainly only get one side of the story (the kids'). But, still, unintentional hilarity ensues, as vulgarity is used to show these hardened criminals who's boss. Seriously, we can't recall when the last time we heard someone use the word "numb-nuts" like for reals. And the "we're at war" thing . . . sigh.