But then, inevitably, days like yesterday happen. And they let you down. Again.

The offensive line (as always) forgets to show up. Frank Gore returns to the game after being sidelined by an ankle injury for two games and is held to 32 rushing yards (see offensive line forgetting to show up, above). The offensive coordinator continues to stubbornly call the same tired, ineffective plays. And, in a miscue no Niners’ fan is likely to forget any time soon, Arnaz Battle calls for a fair catch on a punt… and then drops the ball, setting the Texans up to score a touchdown two plays later. Something about “the sun in his eyes…” SIGH. (Pass the Ketel bottle, please. Forget the ice.)

And the more miscues and missed tackles they make, the faster you drink your Bloody Mary or beer or vodka or Jack & Coke, even if it is only 11 a.m. in the morning. (Ok, fine, in that last sentence “you,” should maybe just be “I.” Nuances, people… nuances.) And you spend half the game peeking through your covered eyes because you can’t bear to look (but you can't bear not to), and you wonder why it is you do this to yourself, week after week after week, because you can’t afford the Botox you now need from all the worry lines you’ve developed in your forehead, and you’re certain that for every game you lose, you’re losing a year off your life, and frankly, you’re not sure if your heart can take it anymore. I mean, let’s be honest, you don’t exercise and your heart gets worn out just walking up hill from the bar to your house; it’s not exactly prepared for this kind of agonizing pressure.

But then the second half starts, and Singletary’s decided to bench Shaun Hill and bring in Alex Smith. And Smith looks like he knows what he’s doing: like his shoulder injury has completely healed, like he can bring this team back from a 21-point deficit. And, what do you know -- Crabtree is actually catching balls and making plays and someone in the bar is yelling, “Smith to Crabtree! Young to Rice Part Two!” And someone else is shouting, "Alex Smith for President!" And you want to believe it. You have to believe it. And suddenly the score is 21-24 and all you need to do to tie the game is drive down the field and kick a field goal, but oh, right. Smith doesn’t know what he’s doing because he hasn’t been out on the field practicing two-minute drills, and suddenly it’s fourth-and-ten with 1:38 left and Smith throws an interception.

Game over.

And you sit there, unable to move or talk or react, because you can’t believe that, once again, you’ve let this team break your heart. So you take a long sip of your drink and you go home to take a nap on the couch. And when you wake up, just in time to watch Arizona beat the Giants and take the lead in the NFC West, you shake your head. Because this is how it is. This is how it will always be. You’ll be there, front and center, next week, to watch your team get demolished by the undefeated Colts because you’ve convinced yourself that one day, somehow, this relationship will produce what it has promised. And until then, you will remain loyal. Because that’s what you do when you’re a fan. That's what you do when you’re a 49ers Faithful.

Side Notes:

There’s going to be a lot of talk this week about our new QB controversy. In my humble opinion, there is no controversy. Sure Shaun Hill is decent, but no matter which way you look at it, he’s a back-up quarterback at best. He can’t throw the ball down field and… well, um, he can’t throw the ball down field. Alex Smith came in and took charge. He made our offensive line look good. He completed passes. He scored three touchdowns in the second half. Alex Smith will start next week against the Colts.

I said I would 'boo' for Crabtree until he gave me something to cheer about. Well, with five receptions for 57 yards (three of which extended drives on third downs), he gave me something to cheer about. I’m glad his first start was on the road; I think he’ll receive a warm welcome from fans when he makes his first appearance in San Francisco (against Tennessee on November 8th). He deserves it.

Finally, and perhaps most important: What do you think goes through the heads of players who perform elaborately choreographed routines in the end zone only to have the ball brought back due to a penalty? I almost felt bad for Houston’s Jacoby Jones yesterday; he put on quite a show after he thought he’d returned a punt for a touchdown… a complete waste of what was a perfectly ridiculous celebration dance. That's gotta sting.

Week 8 Prediction: INDIANAPOLIS over San Francisco. I mean, really: duh.