A mannequin that was stolen from a East Bay clothing store has just as mysteriously reappeared, with yet another odd note by its side.

Given the state of the world, it's understandable if you've already forgotten this strange tale of theft, so a recap: Last week, Pleasanton's "KJCOUTURE" was robbed, but not of their computers or cash. Instead, a thief stole a mannequin that had been placed in the window display of the store, which on its website says "It is our mission to help all women feel comfortable in their own skin," before proceeding to explain that they are the "the #1" location at which to buy "waist trainers," a garment reviled by doctors for the "irreparable damage" they pose to users' internal organs.

The thief didn't call the store out on their apparent hypocrisy, however. Instead, he or she left behind a note reading “Sorry for stealing your statue she needed a better home. You should consider better security. Love Hollywood.”

The note-writer, who appeared to be referencing Hollywood Montrose, a character played by the late Meshach Taylor in the 1987 film Mannequin with their pseudonym, also left behind $200.

And now we have an update on the September 13 theft, as store owner Kim Gapol tells KRON 4 that she found the mannequin outside the store Tuesday morning with a note that said, 'Don’t worry Hollywood was a perfect gentleman.'"

I have a couple thoughts about this.

  • First, sure, the real Hollywood would have been a perfect gentleman, as he was gay-coded to a point that passed offensive stereotype and just kept going
  • If the thief wanted to present him or herself as a potential mannequin lover (in that sense), then they should have signed the note "Jonathan Switcher," as that's the character (played by Andrew McCarthy) who actually got "ungentlemanly" with the dummy (Kim Cattrall).
  • Did you know that the term for sexual or romantic attachment to a mannequin is Agalmatophilia? I would have used that word in the headline if I didn't think Jay would kill me.
  • One time, I was walking the dog really early in the morning and I passed this guy fiddling with a locked bike. He looked up at me and said "I'm not stealing this bike." Then a cop pulled up. Guess what! He was stealing that bike! Unprompted declarations of innocence are often lies.
  • So even though the thief identifies as "Hollywood," their announcement of behavior I hadn't even worried about until they brought it up makes me wonder if they recall the film less thoroughly than I do.

Gapol tells KRON 4 that the stolen mannequin was wearing a different shirt than the one it was wearing when spirited away. But let's not think about what might have transpired! In the end, Gapol got her dummy back, and even if the world runs out of lovers, she'll still have that $200.

Previously: East Bay Dummy Stolen By Apparent 'Mannequin' Fan