Oh my God, it's back again. The line-up to the seventh annual Triple Ho Show has been announced and gurl, it's fetch. Get a a load of this collection of seasoned talent: Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, and The Backstreet Boys. In one San Jose venue on the same night.

Can you even? No, you cannot.

Here are 11 things that will probably (definitely) happen at Triple Ho Show this coming December 7th in San Jose:


Justin Bieber will dry hump the stage. Guaranteed.


Your boss will lose her shit in Section 204, Row 7 when she hears the first three notes of "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)."


Someone is definitely going to get a long-stemmed red rose on stage. OMG.

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Teenage girls will spend hours on handmade signs that get ruined — RUINED — before mom even drops them off at the SAP Center.

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Backstreet Boys ensembles will aesthetically relate without being identical. Splashes of purple are to be expected. A hat here, a bandana there.


Britney Spears will not be appreciated for the genius that she is.

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Photo: Rusty Clark

Bathroom sex.

Kevin Richardson will refuse to utter one word. Not one single word.


Bieber will have more outfit changes than Britney.


Someone (hopefully Nick Carter) will fall on stage and it will be captured by 9,362 iPhone 7 Pluses. Plus'? Pluses? Help.


A physical fight will begin in the parking lot by someone tipping off their earrings and deadpanning for dramatic Snapchat effect, "It's Britney, Bitch."

Tickets for the Triple Ho Show cost $39.50 - $124.50 and will go on sale October 10th. Visit LiveNation.com to purchase.

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