When we told you guys about the plight of Roberto Baldwin, who had some random person hop into his car under the assumption that he was an Uber driver, your reactions veered from "lock your car doors!" to "cars are dangerous."

But what if a stranger aggressively commandeering your car was part of Uber's business model? That's the conceit of a farcically-intended report from The Onion, which details a "New Premium Uber Service" that "Lets Users Commandeer Any Car."

"Uber Seize is a new high-end service that lets users hijack vehicles whenever and however they want," The Onion satirically reports, as you watch "footage" of Uber customers violently ripping drivers from cars.

Of course, Baldwin's ordeal wasn't the first time we heard about Uber passengers entering cars without permission: last fall, we noted the experience of another driver, who, after telling his uninvited guest that this was not the car he was looking for, was told "Well can you just be, can we go?"

Anecdotes like those are perhaps one of the reasons that The Onion's preposterous report (you can watch it in full below) rings a little bit true. That, and lines like this one: "Uber hopes the new option will appeal to customers who don't mind a higher price point for the luxury of immediate service."

Related: Have You Hopped Into A Stranger's Car Mistaking It For An Uber?