By Beth Spotswood

While alcohol can definitely enhance certain experiences, it can also ruin others: like driving a car or healthy communication. More importantly, booze isn’t necessary to have a good time; even at San Francisco’s 2014 Pride celebration, sponsored in part by Bud’s Lime-a-rita. Much like using the word “tranny” or celebrating Halloween in the Castro, getting drunk at Pride is, for many, a thing of the past.

Here’s a collection of Pride weekend events and activities that don’t require tequila shots and bad decisions—but check out our other Pride guide for where to hang with the drinkers:


Dazzle - San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus' Pride Concert
June 25-27, 8 p.m.
$20-$60

Nourse Theatre, 275 Hayes Street, San Francisco

You won’t get arrested by Officer Krupke for drunk and disorderly if you attend this fabulous salute to Broadway. Held this Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, see and hear over 250 gay men and Tony Award winner Laura Benanti in this fabulous Broadway revue. DAZZLE features beloved songs from shows like Avenue Q, Dreamgirls, Fiddler on the Roof, Kinky Boots, Oklahoma!, Rent, Sunday in the Park with George, and West Side Story. Please, please, please let them perform “And I Am Telling You.


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SF Gay Pride All Star Comedy Show
June 26, 7 p.m.
Free

Magnet Center, 4122 18th Street, San Francisco

Get drunk from laughter at this all-star, all-ages comedy show featuring Bay Area LGBT stand up comedians Zachary Toczynski, Ash Fisher, Kelly Doyle, Jesus Fuetes, Justin Lucas, Sampson McCormick and Karinda Dobbins. The show, hosted by Charlie Ballard in the final Hella Gay Comedy Show of all time, will apparently include free ice cream and cake! Just to recap, that free comedy, ice cream, and cake. Everyone is welcome, but parents be aware: it’ll feature some mature content.


19th Annual Pink Triangle: Installation & Commemoration Ceremony
June 28, installation from 7-10 a.m.
Commemoration Ceremony at 10:30 am with elected officials and grand marshals
Top of Twin Peaks, San Francisco

To volunteer:
 [email protected]

If you’ve got any politically-minded friends at all, Saturday morning’s Facebook and Instagram feeds are going to be full of photos from this sobering event. So, you might as well show up and show a little respect. While the gay community has embraced the pink triangle as a symbol of pride, it was used during the Holocaust to label and shame. The goal of this yearly installation is to serve as a reminder so the hatred of the past won’t be forgotten and won’t be repeated. This powerful installation can be seen for 20 miles. Kinda makes Popov Vodka’s Night of a Thousand Cabana Bitches featuring DJ Popperz seem PRETTY DUMB.


Frameline38 International Film Festival
Now-June 29
$35-$60

Castro, Roxie, and Victoria Theaters, San Francisco and the Rialto in Berkeley

The streets of San Francisco are packed with drunk parade attendees who totally didn’t pay attention to the parade. Now they’re throwing up at your bus stop. So go see a movie! Frameline is the world’s largest LGBTQ film festival, and home to some of the most spectacular cinematic art you’re apt to see. Held at four theaters around San Francisco and Berkeley, Closing Night’s German film “I Feel Like Disco” looks particularly fun. You can check out the story of a pudgy teen with a love of disco and confusion about his sexuality on Sunday the 29th at the Castro Theater.



The LGBT Family Garden
June 29, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.
Free

Larkin Street and Grove Street

Located at the corner of Larkin and Grove, the LGBT Family Garden is an alcohol-free, smoke-free, safe, fun space for children, youth, and their LGBTQ parents/caregivers during the Pride celebration. Arts and crafts, games, face painting, screen printed t-shirts, and some great resources will be offered to LGBTQ families. The Family Garden is a great way to escape the mayhem of the parade and take a breather with the babies.

Charlie Ballard hosts SF Gay Pride All Star Comedy Show on Thursday, June 26, 2014