The SFist Guide To Locally Relevant Halloween Costumes

(Photo: Steve Rhodes)

Halloween approaches. Scratch that. Halloween weekend approaches. So that could mean you require more than one costume over the next three days. But what to wear, you locally-minded folks ask? A Frank Chu costume has been done to death. Every other Missionite already looks like Brian Wilson. And only the tackiest of tramps go as a sexy black cat.

Have no fear, folks, as the SFist staff has culled some thoughtful and quick ideas for this coming All Hallow's Eve weekend.

• One color: As DCist (who inspired this costume guide) points out, you can simply wear one solid color for maximum Halloween gaiety. Black on black, blue on blue, etc. If you wear all violet... you can also be The Color Purple! Ahem. Moving on.

• A fig on a plate: Because nothing is as scary as a napoleonic complex meshed with a foodie, go as David Chang's least favorite stereotype about San Francisco.

• The Brown Twins: We saw them on the 30 Stockton a few months back sporting tattered clothes. They could use some goodwill promotion.

• A real housewife from Marin: A Chanel bag and fondness for tuna tartare in a martini glass will do the trick.

• The new Bay Bridge span: Ideal if you're some sort of architect.

• Occupy protester: It was a moment of Zen on The Daily Show this week. Why not own the look of the now via a nifty 99% costume?

• The bush guy: Jump out of a bush and scare the living crap out of passersby. Halloween gold is yours.

• Naked person: Flaunt your meat down the street while being topical.

• Huey Lewis: If you've seen Short Cuts, you know that stuffing a sock (or two) down your pants will give your look an authentic touch.

• Injured Buster Posey: You will get laid. Period.

• The St. Regis: Perfect for thin and plus-size revelers alike.

• Jesus Christ Loves You guy: Frank Chu is dull, unoriginal and woefully meh. Why not go as the other sanity-estranged guy on the street holding a sign?

• It's It: It is, after all, it.

• Burrito: Wrap yourself in tinfoil. Anoint head with refried beans and rice. Voila.

• A homosexual: Tricked you! You can't! We are a culture, not a costume! (Well, for the most part, anyway.)

• Vanessa Getty: This will win you first place in any Halloween costume contest. For she is perfect.

• 66 Quintara line: The F-Market, J Judah, and 38 Geary are dead. It's all about the 66 Quintara now. Because we said so. (Honorable alternate: 10 Townsend)

• Clipper card: Make sure you run around screaming "BOOP!" at the top of your lungs.

• Hashtag: You nerd.

• Zombie pedestrian with bicycle skidmarks: What, too soon?

Anymore bright ideas? Share them with us in the comments.