Daisy Does the 49ers: Going With Smith, Rams Win, Sourdough Sam
I wrote this whole post assuming there would be some sort of quarterback controversy this week, but lo-and-behold, Mike Singletary came out this morning and announced in the press conference that “We’re going with Smith.” And yes, he meant Troy. While I’m elated that Singletary made the right decision, that also means I have to re-write my first four paragraphs, so apologies for the late post.
Here’s why (in my humble opinion) Singletary had to go with Troy.
Alex Smith is 1-6 as the starting QB this season.
Troy Smith is 2-0.
I could probably stop there because, well, Troy Smith wins, Alex Smith loses, but I’ll also just point out that yesterday was Troy Smith’s career-best game, throwing for 365 yards on 17 completions (an average of 20.9 yards per completion), 1 TD and no interceptions.
Alex Smith has never thrown for that many yards. In fact, his best game ever came against the Seahawks last year when he threw for an impressive 310 yards and 2 TDs. But, oh right: We lost. So, um, yeah. Suck it, Alex Smith. (Because that’s a really mature thing to say to a guy who is a hard worker and all-around good guy, but just doesn’t have the arm or the skills. I know it’s not HIS fault he can’t win. But still… sorry buddy: suck it. I believed in you when no one else did, I made the “five different offensive coordinators in five seasons” excuse again and again and again, but you know that surge of elation and joy and invincibility you get when you win? Well no, I guess you really don’t, but I got that feeling yesterday and ohmygod, it feels so good. So. So. Good. Sorry, Alex, but I think your days with the 49ers are numbered. And you know what’s going to kill me? When you go to another team and get the coaching you deserve and lead that team to the playoffs. Because I still do believe you can do it. Just not this season. And not with the 49ers.)
And no, Troy Smith was not perfect (the Niners were 0-11 on third downs), but he can throw the ball downfield and make big plays and get the players and fans excited and, oh fine I’ll say it one more time: Troy Smith wins.
Troy Smith has also earned the support of his teammates and the fans in just two games. Sure, we’d pretty much put our support in our crappy mascot, Sourdough Sam, if you told us he was our only hope, but if Singletary started Alex over Troy, I do believe the Niners Faithful would have rioted. And, yes, by rioted, I mean sat on their couches and smoked The Pot and grumbled about it via various social media outlets because, well, we're 49ers' fans and though we're very loyal to our team, when it comes to being vocal and getting rowdy, we're amongst some of the weakest fans in the NFL. (Sorry, but it's true. I'll amend that statement when more than 50% of the crowd gets on their feet to watch the game-winning field goal in overtime. Until then, I’m going to call you out on your crap. Because SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, IT'S FOOTBALL. GET OFF YOUR LAZY CHARDONNAY-SWILLING ASSES AND CHEER. Please. Thank you for all that you do.)
So anyway, now that we’ve determined our starting quarterback for next week, let’s get to what we’re all really excited about: The Playoffs. (Yes, I am going there. I know I said I wouldn’t if Seattle beat Arizona, but I lied.)
My friend Justin sent me this text early Saturday morning:
“Daisy. I need to know. If my buddy and I dorked out and built a Niners Miracle Playoff Express, would you climb aboard tomorrow?”
Now, Justin was talking about building an actual train that we would wear, and though sadly, it never came to fruition, I will say that after yesterday’s win against the Rams, I am officially on board the Niners Miracle Playoff Express. Sure, it may be more of a commuter train than an express train, but as anyone who’s taken the subway in Manhattan knows, you may think you’re on a local, but it can change to an express train at even given stop. The Niners Miracle Playoff Train can’t really go express until Week 16… and even then, we’re reliant on many other factors (like everyone else in the NFC Worst continuing to suck, and yes, our division is horrific and it’s possible; I mean Seattle is leading the division with a 5-4 record. FIVE AND FOUR, PEOPLE. FIVE AND FOUR.). So it can happen. It really can. And, lucky for you, there’s plenty of room on this train. ALL ABOARD!
Finally, if you’re wondering why I haven’t regaled you with tales of fighting and beer-throwing, it’s because I was an impeccable fan at yesterday’s game. ["* Faint *" -- ed. note] I barely even cussed, which, actually, now that I typed, is likely a complete lie. But I didn’t get in any altercations with Rams’ fans and I think that’s making progress.
The only person who suffered my wrath was the boyfriend, who, unfortunately, is learning that while I may claim that going to 49ers’ games is my favorite thing to do in the entire world, the actual experience makes it seem as though it’s anything but. I usually start announcing my nervousness every hour on the hour around 36-hours before kickoff. Then, I sleep fitfully the night before (including excessive kicking of the sheets and dramatic sighing) due to what a six-year-old might call a case of the Christmas Eves. I’m usually fairly relaxed on the bus ride to Candlestick (thank you, Bud Light tall boys), but just wait and see what happens if I even THINK I’m going to miss kickoff. Seriously: So no cute.
And then there’s the actual duration of the game during which I behave like I’m a bi-polar, PMSing lunatic who was let out of her straight jacket and released from the mental hospital mere hours earlier. One minute I am high-fiving strangers and jumping up and down like a deranged clown on a pogo stick. The next, I am lamenting how The Universe wants to punish me, I hate everyone, and there’s a high probability that I’m going to slit my wrists right here on the 50-yard-line. It’s a whirlwind of emotion that no one girl should experience and one that was only heightened when the Rams drove down field to kick the game-tying field goal to send the game into overtime. I was hoping to live to be at least 80, but after that, there’s no way I’m making it past 75.
But then… we won. And it was back to squeals of delight and high-fiving and ear-t-ear grinning and hey… even a little hugging and you would have been hard-pressed to find a happier girl in all of San Francisco.
So keep it up Niners. Keep it up, Troy Smith. Great catches, Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis. Awesome work defense… especially you two, Patrick Willis and Takeo Spikes (nice push-ups, Spikes!) Oh, ans Joe Nedney, we love you. And you, Andy Lee. Frank, I think you know that I’ll only ever say wonderful things about you because you’re an amazing running back and you’re also just so damn lovable. I even have nice things to say about you, Coach Singletary. You did good. Of course, everyone needs to stop with the penalties (Seriously, I mean it. Fourteen penalties and three nullified TDs? NOT OK.), and we’re all very upset about LT Joe Staley’s left fibula fracture (out 4-6 weeks), especially because our offensive line really needs him, but you guys can do it. All of you. Just work hard. And believe.
I’ll be over here doing the same. (Except the working hard part, of course. Unless you count building a train with Justin as hard work.) Choo choo… ALL ABOARD!
Next Week’s Prediction: SAN FRANCISCO over Tampa Bay. (Please?)