Daisy Does the 49ers: Turnovers Result In 34-27 Loss
Here’s the thing: I’m a Bad Fan. I cuss and yell and get angry. For obvious reasons, my behavior becomes even worse when the 49ers are losing. (And, yes, the “obvious reasons” are alcohol, frustration and desperation; an amazing combination no man can resist.) But here’s the other thing: I know I’m a Bad Fan, so I at least attempt to minimize the annoyance that it must be to sit anywhere near me at a game.
For example, yesterday, I was surrounded by Titans fans at Candlestick Park. There were at least ten of them within spitting distance arm’s reach. Som within the first few minutes of the game, I turned to them and told them that I was likely to say horrible rude things, but that I only behaved that way for three hours every Sunday and they shouldn’t take it personally.
I actually managed to remain quite composed for three quarters. But eventually the three turnovers in the second half (that the Titans converted to 17 points) and our defense’s inability to stop a 1-6 team was more than I could bear. So, when a very scary Titans’ fan with talons-for-fingernails painted Tennessee red and blue started taunting me, I did what any girl in my position would do.
I called her fat.
“That’s right you skinny bitch,” she responded. “But at least I can eat whatever I want. At least I’ve got something to grab onto.”
To which I replied, “I love cake. Look at my ass. I’ve got something to grab onto!”
That’s right. I took the best compliment of my entire life (“Skinny Bitch”) and instead of just saying “Thank you” like a normal person, I yelled something about cake and showed her my ass. Amazing.
I guess this is the time where I should probably tell you what happened during the game, make some attempt to explain to you how the 49ers managed to make us all believe and then take that belief and turn it into utter disappointment. I should write about how Alex Smith architected four turnovers and looked nothing like a number one draft pick. He may be better than Shaun Hill, but does anyone really believe that this is the guy who is going to take us to the playoffs? (Sure you can argue that not all of the turnovers were his fault, but I’m not going to get into semantics because the point of the matter is, without those four turnovers, we win the game. He had the ball. Then they had the ball. I don’t care if it was tipped or fumbled or whatever. A turnover is a turnover is a turnover. And apparently, according to earlier statements, the only kind of those I like comes with apple in it. I mean, LOOK AT MY ASS.)
There is probably a mathematical equation that somehow still gets the 49ers to the playoffs. We beat Chicago, Jacksonville, Seattle, Arizona, Detroit and St. Louis. The Cardinals lose to Seattle, Tennessee, Minnesota (ugh, I have to root for Minnesota? THE WORST.), SF and Green Bay. Or they can go 9-7 as long as we beat them when we play them Monday night. But do I actually believe there is a chance in hell that is going to happen? That the Niners can win all of those games? Sadly, no. I think the playoff race will be long over by the time we see them in December. We haven’t won a game in 35 days. We’ve made costly errors and shown we are incapable of playing four quarters of football. We have the heart, but the skill just isn’t there yet. I’ll keep cheering on my boys because that’s what a fan does and, honestly, I want to still believe. But for now, for today, I just don’t.
Now could someone please bring me a piece of cake? All this sadness is making me hungry.
Prediction for Thursday night’s game: SAN FRANCISCO over Chicago.