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David Byrne -- the tall guy in ivy league favorite Talking Heads/the man behind the score of The Last Emperor -- wrote in last week's Wall Street Journal about the perfect city. San Francisco was one of them, or so he thought.
Every time I visit San Francisco I ask out loud "Why don't I live here? Why do I choose to live in a place that is harder, tougher and, well, not as beautiful?" The locals often reply, "You don't want to live here. It looks like a city, but it's really a small village. Everyone knows what you're doing" Oh, OK. If you say so. It's still beautiful.
We're not quite sure we agree with the sample of locals used here. While it's true San Francisco isn't that big; it's not that small, either. There are many different scenes, different groups, and different types of people within this dense 7x7-mile prison fortress. Too many of them, some might argue. What we think is going on here is this: the denizens of San Francisco suffer from a healthy amount of arrested development. (The 18-to-35 year-old sect, that is.) So, we tend to form small, elite cliques (ones based off of playlists, political leanings, income) similar to the groups we saw at the high schools that shunned us so many years ago. Said cliques tend to go to the same clubs, bars, Muni lines, movies, food trucks, parks and readings so that they never have to venture outside their safety zone the way folks in LA or New York City or Buttonwillow do.
Or not. We're just guessing.
Anyway, Byrne has a new book coming out. It's called Bicycle Diaries.
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After reading Byrne's quote I feel so very deep. Now excuse me while I go step over a few more stupefied druggies on my walk to work.
A New York friend of mine commented to me that in NY he can act however he wants, because he'll never see any of those people again. He finds this comforting, because relationships are fleeting. However, in San Francisco he can't be the person he wants to be because he'll see the same people again and they will know who he is. I responded that in fact, people in San Francisco are very accepting of whatever lifestyle people want to lead. He then responded, "yeah but I can't lie to people and tell them I'm someone else without getting caught between my lies." touché. Relationships here are not as fleeting.
You can be whoever you want here and be accepted for that, but you can't act however you want without building up expectations from people around you that this is who you really are.
But why on earth would you want to be yourself? Isn't the whole point of moving to a big city being able to reivnent yourself? SF really bummed me out in that regard. Just totally unimaginative and depressing.
Isn't the whole point of moving to a big city being able to reivnent yourself?
Everyone has their own reasons for moving anywhere, but this was never one of mine.
"But why on earth would you want to be yourself?" I'm still trying to figure out what you're talking about. I guess if I were a moron, I'd move to a bigger city so that I could be a moron and maintain anonymity. I moved to SF from NYC to finally get to do what I wanted with my life, re-prioritize AND be myself without having to impress everyone I knew with my career choice and the size of my bank account. "Just totally unimaginative and depressing? Wow! What part of SF did you live in and whom did you know? I find the imagination here to be a lot more interesting than what I found in NYC where the imagination was gauged by $$$$ and the pursuit of fame. Depressing --- hmmm . . . what don't you find depressing?
Clearly, your experience in SF is very different from my experience. I've lived here for 12 years after spending 10 years in NYC. If I had to live on the East coast again, I'd move back to NYC. Fortunately, I don't have to live on the East coast again.
If you have to lie about who you are and are afraid of getting caught in the lie, stay away from San Francisco. We don't want you. Authentic people only please. Crazy or otherwise, you'll be accepted because at the very least you're real.
"You can be whoever you want here and be accepted for that, ..."
So what if I want to be a neoconservative Southern Baptist proposition 8 supporter who listens to Toby Keith and watches NASCAR? Will you accept me then? Or what if I want to be a skinny jean, American Apparel-wearing hipster? What if I want to ride fixie bikes everywhere? What if I want to drive SUVs everywhere? What if I want to have babies and push my doublewide stroller down the Embarcadero?
The myth that San Francisco accepts everybody unconditionally is easily disproved by reading this site.
Brock, you may be in SoMa and I may be out in The Sunset, but...I know what you're doing.
Biting into a lemon, regaining consciousness, then making a blog entry?
choose up siderism is not unique to SF, but if you want it to be more pronounced, you can make it so.
I spent most of my early adult life trying to get as far away from here as I could, only to come back and realize it's not so bad. In fact it can be kinda nice.
Someone should make a t-shirt that says "I'm not interested in cliques because that's unfriendly so let's just have a nice chat and be cool."
Or something like that. I would buy one.
In.
most SF people i know tend to stay in their 'hoods, which can make the city seem much smaller than it really is. i can't remember the last time i ventured west of fillmore street.
Last time i saw Mr Byrne in Concert he was amazing as usual , until he spued some political gibberish , I can't remember what it was but it was so lame ... Makes me think he's slowly losing his mind, but who care his music is still amazing! I think if he lived here he's have a different view... woiuld probably move to Marin
sfist's comment sounds like the Toronto.