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Men, this could have been you.
Ladies, please sit down for this one. Hell, you guys should sit too. See, San Diego resident Alfred G. Rava sued the Oakland A's. Why? Well, on Mother's Day of 2004, the Oakland A's had a Mother's Day event. Said day celebrating certain vagina owners went like this: Before the game there was "a fight-breast-cancer 5K run before the game, free mammograms, and the first 7,500 women through the gate got floppy plaid sun hats from Macy's." Pretty cool, huh? Well, Rava, a San Diego attorney who happened to be in Oakland and at the ballpark that day, was so incensed at not receiving his own free floppy hat that he sued. What's more, a judge just gave "preliminary approval to a $510,000 settlement -- roughly half to lawyers and the rest to the victims."
According to ESPN, all you male victims female oppression can claim a small victory for mankind.
If you can prove you were one of the first 7,500 people there that day, you get $50 in cash, two-for-one A's tickets and a $25 Macy's coupon. It won't be hard. All you have to do is (A) state under oath that you are a male, (B) show some kind of receipt for your ticket and (C) swear you were there early. That's good enough. There's no video, and nobody's going to spend $5,000 deposing you over $100.
Oh yeah, you'll also spend eternity in hell if you try claiming this prize.
ESPN's Rick Reilly gives his thoughts about Rava, saying, "Personally, I find Mr. Rava as odorous as a bag of dyspeptic hamsters ... When they wrote California's Unruh Civil Rights Act in 1959 -- the act Rava sues with -- they never thought soulless creatures like him would someday slink about the earth."
We, however, think Rava is doing God's work on behalf of oppressed XY-chromosome carriers throughout the U.S. We salute you, Rava.
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So it sounds like he did get his mammogram though.
zing!
double zing!
What, they gave 7,500 floppy hats to women, but they didn't have one for a little crying girl from San Diego?
This lawsuit is just as annoying as 40 year old people claiming they are 12 and under so they can get their free kids promo gift at the game.
Does the MLB have a blacklist? No more season tickets, online purchasing, and no swiping that credit card at the box office.
He's just as bad as those lawyers who sue restaurants for not being under ADA compliance, even if the restaurant is off by one inch.
It's even more amusing that no person has called the settlement line to get their settlement money.
Wow! This is so funked up, yet it somehow does not make me hate lawyers any more because it is so typical. *sad*
What I find fucked up is that on occasion, people *need* lawyers, and on occasion, lawyers do work for the good guys. What do you do when your profession is made up of bad apples?
Men, this could have been you.
I coulda had Heath Ledger OD in my apartment?
When asked what his mother would say about the lawsuit by ESPN interview Rick Reilly, Rava said:
"I am sure my mom would be proud of my lawsuit against this major league baseball franchise that denied male and female consumers under 18 years of age free fishing hats based on sex and age," he says.
Sadly, Rava's mother is unable to support or refute his comments. She died at age 53 of breast cancer.
"Why are you counting law students as 2/10 of a person?"
"Because it doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."
-Dilbert
Allow me to be the first; what a dick.