Manny Ramirez's Suspension Becomes the Giants' Gain

Great news, Giants fans. The LA Times reports that, as of this morning, Dodgers left fielder Manny Ramirez has been put on temporary suspension for 50 games after testing positive for an illegal substance. And, in classic prescription drug abuse excuses, Ramirez blames the doctor.

Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons. I want to apologize to [Dodgers owner Frank] McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, [manager Joe] Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about this whole situation.

We year you, Manny. We can't tell you how many times we too have gone to the doctor, only to be prescribed some sort of distant anabolic steroid derivative, which, for some reason, we keep taking again and again until we can punch a hole in the ceiling.

Anyway, Ramirez 's suspension comes on the heels of the LA Dodgers coming in at no. 1 in NL West, with the Giants trailing close behind at no. 2. With Manny out for the next couple of months, according to NBC Bay Area, "no one will be able to come close to replacing Ramirez's production ... which will likely make the team's 13-0 home start a distant memory by the time Ramirez returns to the lineup." Which? Is fantastic news.