BART Cop Smashes Drunk Dude's Head Through Glass
SFist Tonight
Week Around the Ists
SFist Tonight
The Week Ahead: Bay Area Concerts 11/23 - 11/29
The always filthy Up Your Alley Street Fair (a.k.a. Dore Alley) -- which is sort of a smaller, gayer, more distilled and urine-soaked version of Folsom Street Fair -- is being threatened with a loss of permit by the SFPD if fair organizers don't crack down on public sex and nudity at this year's fair. The threat stems from complaints by two individuals about last year's event, one of whom put together an entire website devoted to the many disgusting sights he witnessed (and photographed), including a man multiply peed upon by his friends, and another man jacking off out his third-story window onto the crowd.
The cops and the city always tend to turn a blind eye to this stuff, because this ain't no kids' parade and this is sex-positive San Francisco, but this year it sounds like fair-goers may have to keep their penises and saline-injected ball sacks in their pants, at least while under the watchful eye of patrolmen.
If you dare, you can see that concerned citizen's EXTREMELY NSFW and fairly unappetizing photo gallery here, or just a couple still NSFW but click-deep shots, with commentary, here.
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
why do these prudes even bother?
I'll bet a penny that Jakkee Bryson is one of the two complainants.
Do people really inject saline into their ball sacks? Ouchy!
Dore Alley isn't my thing--I find it kinda gross, like gun shows and anime conventions--so I don't go. If the complaintants live in the neighborhood and have to deal, it's one thing, otherwise they oughta stuff it.
“The threat stems from complaints by two individuals about last year's event, one of whom put together an entire website devoted to the many disgusting sights he witnessed…”
Are you saying that zombietime.com filed an official complaint?
That seem to contradict his own opening statements
• I am not anti-gay, or anti-fetish, or anti-sex.
• I myself am neither Catholic, nor Christian, nor religious in any way.
• I have no "agenda"; I'm just reporting what I see. I'm publishing these photos to maintain my journalistic integrity and to not engage in self-censorship simply because the facts are inconvenient.
• Personally, I don't particularly care one way or the other about what goes on at these fairs, or about Miller Beer's sponsorship. I'm just introducing some facts into an argument in which two opposing sides are making mutually contradictory claims.
No, filing official complaints isn't "Zombie"'s modus operandi.
His style is to put up the most slanted, unflattering photos possible of liberals on his website, then flog it to right-wing sites so they can get their Two Minutes' Hate on.
That "opening statement" is a masterpiece of doublespeak.
I have no idea why Brock (and Jay in this case) support this creep.
Speaking of NSFW, I decided to swap the Arts section of the Bay Area Guardian with the front section after grabbing it from the corner newspaper box outside my office. I can only imagine what appears at zombietime
First of all, why do people who are offended by such events bother to go AND then feel the need to record the events on camera? I'm not into Dore Alley so I don't go, but I don't think it should be censored just because I'm not into it.
Second of all, is it just me (creating a conspiracy theory) or does there seem to be a lot more crackdowns this year (all-age bars, late night entertainment, Bay to Breakers, etc.) since the Gav has decided to run for Governor? Maybe he's pressuring SFPD to sanitize the city to make him look good to the more prudish parts of this state. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that our absentee Mayor has a hand in this to polish up his tainted image.
Ever wanted to see your grandfather in ball stretchers getting peed on? Then head on over to Dore alley.
When does sex positive become public health hazard - coming on a crowd of people below.
This just happenned to be an event that ZombieTime went and covered. He didn't actually put together an entire website for last year's fair, he just dedicated a few webpages to it.
This "street fair" is an unacceptable public display of the worst kind of degeneracy. Plus, it's gross. There reaches a point where "tolerance" turns into a kind of counterproductive moral and ethical ambiguity and our fair city frequently crosses that line. Sorry, public display of the unsafe exchange of bodily fluids is completely and totally unacceptable. It just encourages people to behave in unhealthy ways and those unhealthy ways tax the public welfare by contributing to our already unacceptably high levels of disease transmission, drug addiction, etc. Why do we give tacit approval to unacceptable behavior that is a burden to the public overall by allowing these sorts of shenanigans to continue?
So you aren't going to support my crack-smoking, dope-shooting festival in August then?
what will the food and music options be?
Well said.
To a point, I'm with you that the man at his window was bad, because people getting splooged on had not consented, though if you go to Dore Alley you have to expect someone is going to slap your ass--it comes with the territory.
As for urine, I fail to see how it is unsafe.
You might want to look up the history of the word "degeneracy" in marginalizing creative outlets. Don't be such an old lady.
"...marginalizing creative outlets"?!
Sorry, this old lady fails to see how peeing on people in any way facilitates creativity. C'man! Talk about a culture in steep decline...
I'm not opposed to people indulging their fetishes. What consenting adults choose to do behind closed doors is their own business. I just don't approve of public sanction of unhealthy behavior. Somehow, somewhere, someone decided to equate this S&M bullshit with "the gay" and since hating on the gays is bad news, suddenly disapproving of men in slings with fists up their arses in the middle of a public street became bad news too. Yeah, no.
Subtlety is lost on those unable to see it. Obviousness, too. What of the idea that for this one day a year, Dore is effectively behind closed doors? And why puff up your stance with "middle of a public street?" I couldn't even tell you where Dore is offhand, and the only reason I know how to spell it is that I must see the street sign sometimes. It's an alley, a side street at most.
What about the streets that close off a block in order to let parents drink (outside) and their kids run around screaming? In the middle of a public street!
Face it, you're a square.
Subtlety is lost on those unable to see it. Obviousness, too.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were unleashing Joyce like prose in your comment there. My bad. everyone make way for the second coming of Ulysses...
What of the idea that for this one day a year, Dore is effectively behind closed doors?
What of? That would be fine, if it were. Dude, what you don't get is that people LIVE on Dore Alley. It's no longer surrounded by light industrial and warehouse uses like it was back when this foolishness began. Not to be a NIMBY, but c'man! I think expecting people to be amenable to handing their street over to a bunch of perverts for a day is a little absurd...
What about the streets that close off a block in order to let parents drink (outside) and their kids run around screaming? In the middle of a public street!
Are you seriously trying to compare that to naked old guys in studded leather thongs peeing on one another, leather crops dangling out of their mouths? That's hilarious.
Face it, you're a square.
And you have no moral center. Sorry for you.
Face it, you're a square.
I guess all the cool kids these days are slinging their seed from three stories onto leather-bound (and leathery) old piss-drinkers.
I'm forever behind. Cool's eternal but it's always dated.
I know, right!
My grandfather couldn't have put it better. Whiners complaining that they are unable to achieve 100% gentrification. I know, this one feels special because this time you have an opinion, but it's really the same old song and dance (and blow, I suppose).
Are you seriously trying to compare that to naked old guys in studded leather thongs peeing on one another, leather crops dangling out of their mouths?
Ah, point missed I guess. I was not setting up a morally relative situation, but a practical one: street events that have the capacity to annoy neighbors and passersby.
P.S. "Moral center" is a codeword for Bible, right?
I mean really, if you persist in being The Angry Young Man, consider the possibility that you're living in the wrong city for your delicate sensibilities. Living in the midst of such continuous conflict with ones ideals can make one very angry indeed, dangerous even.
And yes, I know people live on Dore Alley. How many do you think moved in after this was an established tradition? Doesn't matter?
Oh, brother. Is that the best you can do, Manys? Blather on about "gentrification" and then throw in that tired yet typical SF "you're living in the wrong city" crap because I find old men getting their jollies by peeing on one another in the street to be annoying and stupid, not to mention a health hazard. Right.
By the way, I'm agnostic, so the bible has nothing to do with anything. This is about knowing the difference between right and wrong, the repercussions of people's actions, and the need to draft good public policies to reflect these things. I don't know you, but I'd venture to guess that like a lot of people in this town you've collapsed into a state of amorality out of some misguided sense that everything is relative and subjective. I blame lesbian academics and Foucault. Sorry for you.
Dore Alley used to be an industrial alley. Now it's full of residential lofts. SOMA isn't empty enough on nights and weekends for this sort of thing any more. This needs to move to a new location.
Menlo Park it is!
Your advice is hella punk.
...except UYA and Folsom Street Fair predate a lot of the residentital development in that part of SOMA. They were there first, and anyone in the city over the age of twelve could have warned the residents that moved in after that these large, and sociopolitically-charged events happen EVERY YEAR FOR THE LAST TWENTY YEARS (or so) at the roughly the same times, with the dates being announced months in advance.
This whole "the neighborhood is changing and they should leave" line is bullshit. Do some research about the neighborhoods and communities you join. A lot of these NeoNIMBY condo owners probably did more research about the stainless steel appliances in their new kitchens than the people and events that make up their surroundings. Or even worse, took a "we'll deal with that when it happens" stance when they did finally hop on the clue bus.
We put our fetish fairs out in the sparsely populated industrial sections of the city to keep from being too much of a bother to the big residential neighborhoods. Residentializing (i just invented that word, because im awesome) the neighborhood isnt in itself a bad thing, but then trying to get us shut down/changed/subdued by using that as a rationale is just asinine. Its like applying to be a peanut butter taster, getting hired, and then going on strike because of your peanut allergy.
The neighborhood you move into is more than just another "amenity" on the brochure for your building.
my guess is one of the complaints is from a certain resident in the subsidized housing at folsom/dore who has long made homophobic and transphobic remarks --- you may remember her from the hole in the wall debacle.
another group that i'm fairly certain has complained are so-called 'national anarchists' --- as a white supremacist group that staged a bizarre protest of last years Folsom street fair. they've been becoming increasingly active in the bay.
i'm not sure zombietime even lives in the city, she just loves to come over for the photographic opportunities.
ZT is a dood who hails from Berkeley. He comes over here to take photos, yes.
I love Zombietime's photography. Nobody has a better eye for the cock than he does.
I'll tell you where I am going to be on the afternoon of the Dore Alley event this year. The same place I am every other year, nowhere near Dore Alley. It's like going into a church and complaining that everyone is reciting crazy stuff in Latin. Being told that a bunch of naked old guys are going to be blowing each other in public is what I call a pretty obvious un-invitation.
I’m kind of with Dan White on this one.
If you behaved this way anywhere else in SF and at any other time you’d be in jail. Go party with Piss Boy at the next 49ers game and see what happens. Hell, you’d even be arrested for behaving this way at Burning Man these days.
It doesn’t bother me so much that people get their kink on this way. What does bug me is that the kinky segment has latched on like a parasite to the gay movement / agenda/ scene /whatever. Now Piss Boy is the poster child for every preacher in a red state on a mission. Gee, thanks, Piss Boy.
I think the Onion summed it up best with their article “Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years”
That was Truth being printed right there.
But the point is that you ARENT doing this anywhere else in SF. Youre doing it in a cordoned off, permit-issued, organized and monitored environment for several hours out of one or two days of the year... and then it goes away.
I agree, running into Piss Boy at a baseball game, or on muni, or at your favorite restaurant would be completely fucked up. But hes not AT those places. Hes somewhere you can safely and predictably avoid. And for the rest of the year, if you run into him in public, hes just Brian/Mike/Terry/Etc.
I'm gay and I think it is inappropriate. I also don't see the connection between this event and gay culture or the gay movement.
I 100% support making this not about being gay at all!
"I also don't see the connection between this event and gay culture"
Well, there are a bunch a guys standing around with each other's dicks in their mouth.
Draw your own conclusions...
That Onion article really nailed it -
***
"I'd always thought gays were regular people, just like you and me, and that the stereotype of homosexuals as hedonistic, sex-crazed deviants was just a destructive myth," said mother of four Hannah Jarrett, 41, mortified at the sight of 17 tanned and oiled boys cavorting in jock straps to a throbbing techno beat on a float shaped like an enormous phallus. "Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong."
The parade, organized by the Los Angeles Gay And Lesbian And Bisexual And Transvestite And Transgender Alliance (LAGALABATATA), was intended to "promote acceptance, tolerance, and equality for the city's gay community." Just the opposite, however, was accomplished, as the event confirmed the worst fears of thousands of non-gay spectators, cementing in their minds a debauched and distorted image of gay life straight out of the most virulent right-wing hate literature.
Among the parade sights and sounds that did inestimable harm to the gay-rights cause: a group of obese women in leather biker outfits passing out clitoris-shaped lollipops to horrified onlookers; a man in military uniform leading a submissive masochist, clad in diapers and a baby bonnet, around on a dog leash; several Hispanic dancers in rainbow wigs and miniskirts performing "humping" motions on a mannequin dressed as the Pope; and a dozen gyrating drag queens in see-through dresses holding penis-shaped beer bottles that appeared to spurt ejaculation-like foam when shaken and poured onto passersby.
Timothy Orosco, 51, a local Walgreens manager whose store is on the parade route, changed his attitude toward gays as a result of the event.
"They kept chanting things like, 'We're here, we're queer, get used to it!' and 'Hey, hey, we're gay, we're not going to go away!'" Orosco said. "All I can say is, I was used to it, but now, although I'd never felt this way before, I wish they would go away."
Allison Weber, 43, an El Segundo marketing consultant, also had her perceptions and assumptions about gays challenged by the parade.
"My understanding was that gay people are just like everybody else–decent, hard-working people who care about their communities and have loving, committed relationships," Weber said. "But, after this terrifying spectacle, I don't want them teaching my kids or living in my neighborhood."
You know, the recognition that life could be imitating The Onion is a test for you. You just failed it.
No, you got it wrong. Again.
I never said life is imitating the Onion. What I said is that the Onion is able to cut through the bullshit and call an issue out for what it is, even if it’s not as political correct as we would like it to be.
Right after 9/11 they had the headline “A shattered nation longs to care for stupid bullshit again.”
After Katrina they had something along the lines of “God outdoes terrorists.” With a subtitle of “Government not sure if they should help survivors or shoot them.”
It’s days like these where you get more honest reporting from a joke TV show like the Daly Show or a joke newspaper like the Onion than you do from any of the real media outlets.
But fuck it. This is SFist.
NAMBLA could be throwing a block party and people on this page would find the most asinine reasons to defend them.
It's simply a matter of perception. When I read The Onion's story, I thought it was hilarious for taking the bullshit assimilationist theories to their absurd and incorrect conclusions.
You guys are all lame. Leave the furry creatures alone.
Besides, go pick on the crack heads on market. At least the furry creatures are courteous
Seriously, guys. Complaining citizens ought to be complaining only if this affects their home lives directly -- like if the noise kept them from napping -- not because they object on moral grounds and want to show everyone the dirty things that go on. And gays shouldn't be aspiring to be the same as everyone else, even if that means accepting the pervy end of our spectrum where old men like to piss on each other and walk around with their balls out. Goddess bless SF.
I think one of the points being lost with the pitbull-like grip some of you have with the incident involving the guy and the window is that the fair organizers think that shit is fucked up too - you seriously think they wouldnt? Window guy isnt an issue of if FSE supports this kind of behavior, of course they dont. Because it results in bullshit like this that threatens the stability of the fair and devotes resources away from making sure everyone is having a good, safe time. If anything (and i wasnt there or involved, and this is only speculation based on experience) - its an enforcement/logistics issue for that specific year/incident.
It also seems tough from my perspective to do anything about it *except* report it to police, because the buildings adjoining dore alley are private property and are obviously not in FSE's security jurisdiction. (the first one of you who responds about how FSE "creates an immoral/unrestricted/libertine environment that causes this to happen" will face peals of helpless laughted. These are not children.)
And in terms of the pissing-on-people issue, if someone were going around indiscriminately pissing on other people, they not only would be asked to leave, theyd most likely be "gently escorted" to the nearest policeman with a radio. Ive seen pissing on people at dore alley, and while the organizers of course try and head off that behavior in public, when it does happen, its consentual. Nobody wants it otherwise. We're perverts, not assholes.
If youre squicked out by the possibility that you might see someone acting in conflict with "your moral center" - i would recommend a lovely drive up the coast for the day culiminating an amazing and affordable lunch at Cape Fear restaurant. The house-smoked salmon in a peccorino cream sauce is amazing. Eaten outside on a beautiful day, and its practically religious. And you wont have to see naughty bits, or see people pissing, or be reminded of "that incident" back in college when you and your dorm-mate were really drunk, and he just looked so good in the light from the lava lamp, that.... and i digress.
Full disclosure: Im connected to the fair only in the sense that i have many good friends that work their asses off to make it as positive, safe and enjoyable as possible.
What I wonder about is how the SFPD has any ability to complain when they did just as little.
If you look at ZombieTime's pictures right at the end of the whole Total Toilet Pig section is an SFPD officer standing around chatting while at least two men (TTP among them) stand there with their hands on their exposed cocks. Did he show up just a bit too late to put a stop to it? Is it just something that wasn't recorded properly on camera?
I've got absolutely no problem with Dore Alley or Folsom and I don't have any problem with people wanting to engage in public sex or fisting on the street. I'm glad that we normally support such an event as a major part of the civic year and were normally lucky enough to be living in a city where this sort of thing is accepted enough to be a huge, widely acknowledged city event. I'm just saying that if the cops are going to bitch about it, why in the hell weren't they doing anything about it when they had the chance to?