Five Million Year Old Whale Bones Discovered on Santa Cruz Beach

Santa Cruz County construction crews spotted a fossilized vertebrae sticking out of the ground at Mid-County beach last month, which paleontologists have since identified as the remains of a whale, likely dating back five millions years. There will soon be an excavation of the site, the location of which will not be revealed. The whale is thought to be between 15 and 20 feet long, and the rock that it's attached to comes from the end of the Miocene Epoch. Experts are hoping to find the skull, which will help them ascertain whether the animal was an ancient Baleen whale, along the lines of today's plankton-feeding Humpbacks, or a meat-eating toothed whale, more closely related to the modern Orca.

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Local residents and UCSC students have already begun protesting the excavation. They do not wish to see the bones of the dead whale removed from the site of its passing. One brave soul, who wishes to be known only as “Rainbow Noodles,” has already tied herself to the exposed bones with hemp rope. "I'll go to jail, just don't dig up the whale!" she's been shouting to the delight of her fellow Banana Slugs, while being kept refreshed with donations of vegan cookies and kombucha from The Staff of Life.

culturally, our species moving from save the doe-eyed furry thing to save the dessicated bones "it has feelings too" thing fairly certainly foreshadows our doom.

I still say the script writers of Idiocracy nailed it.

Miocene Epoch? That would make a very tasty fish stew!

Toss the stupid hippy vegan in the pot for extra beta carotene.

5 million years? pshaw. they're just a trick of the devil to make you think the earth is older than four thousand odd years!

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