SFist: Ed Jew Sentenced to 5.5 Years In Prison

Slappydafrog

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:36:56 -0800

I *swear* I only hit submit once. :(!

Slappydafrog

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:35:52 -0800

Now THAT was funny!

Slappydafrog

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:35:18 -0800

Now THAT was funny!

RobInSF

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 12:21:02 -0800

Maybe Ed can get with that furry headed douchebag from Illinois, Blagovajayjay and go on tour...or something to that effect.

Arizenheimer

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:09:47 -0800

He's going to Club Fed. Federal prisons have ping pong tables, pools, billiard tables, etc. Only thing that sucks for him is he's gonna do the whole sentence without a chance of parole (also a federal thing).

travin

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:03:39 -0800

You're seriously trying to use logic to predict what this guy will do?

pantsgolem

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:51:42 -0800

What planet have you been on?

Generic

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:35:29 -0800

Really? Wow. Our overlord takes a very light hand with the threads.

benw

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:55:46 -0800

Yeah, there's going to be a *huge* demand for a book by Ed Jew. "My two months on the board of supes and five years in jail, by some guy".

benw

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:53:27 -0800

Quickly didn't try to bribe him, "girex". He put the squeeze on them, they went to the FBI and showed up with the $40k he wanted and a wire he didn't, both supplied by the feds. But why bother finding any widely-available information out when it's way more fun to make sleazy and baseless allegations against the victims of a crime instead?

Akit

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:46:39 -0800

Hmm, a book deal. What would be the title? "How I did it, not written by OJ Simpson" "My five and a half years..."

justjimi

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:44:41 -0800

I'm sure Ed's nether regions will be perfectly safe since he'll continue showering at his flower shop in Chinatown as he always has!

SteveIst

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:11:16 -0800

According to Matier & Ross over at the Chronicle of Despair, Quickly Tapioca thought something was fishy about Jew and contacted the FBI, who provided them marked $$$$$$ with which to bribe Ed Jew. And he took it.

qirex

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:09:37 -0800

Hey was there ever any penalty againd the "Quickly" chain that was trying to bribe him in the first place? That place sucks anyway, what sort of bubble tea shop makes you pay extra for the tapioca anyway?

SteveIst

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:07:50 -0800

Bostonist comment banned me for ages for a moderately snarky defense of RobinSF. In theory, -ist has a policy of only writing polite comments that smell like daisies and contribute to the public discourse.

CTEonDU

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:03:07 -0800

Jailbird Jew is practically going to be in the click longer than he was in office.

TeamAwesome

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:12:47 -0800

COMMENT FIGHT!

Generic

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:08:28 -0800

I don't know. I think y'all are selling Ed a little short here. Instead of his smooth Asian twink ass getting Shaw Shanked, I can just as easily imagine a world where Ed is the One Not To Be Fucked With on cell-block D. Sorta like Rorchach in The Watchmen? The small, wiry guy who goes ape-shit? You know the type: eerily self-contained, never talks, no expression. Then all of a sudden he throws scalding kitchen grease all over an inmate's face because the guy made a crack about whether Ed's parole would come up "Quickly."

Plug1

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:59:19 -0800

wait, what? i thought we were talking about foie grois?

withak

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:48:07 -0800

You can find that just about anywhere on the internet.

ogdred

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:39:57 -0800

"The defense also said Jew suffered from brain damage" His condition perfectly suited him for being on the SF Board of Stupidvisors.

Be_Devine

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:35:49 -0800

Tossed salads aside, what continues to fascinate me about this story is how Quickly had a spare 80 grand laying around to bribe Jew. That's a buttload of tapioca.

Ciaran

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:24:29 -0800

Bring back SFist Rita, period. We'll miss you Ed; god that story was fun while it lasted.

Joel

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:10:51 -0800

"Surprise Sex" Alright, I'll get me coat...

travin

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:05:04 -0800

Actually, it's very normal. Even Navy medical manuals recognize it as a moderate to high occurrence for those in isolated circumstances of six weeks or longer, no matter their orientation. As for Ed's circumstances, great. Just great. Now he finally has solid reasoning to support his victim/martyr complex. After five years incarceration, he'll be even more unbearable--with a book deal, no doubt.

RobInSF

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:55:37 -0800

Prison buttsecks isn't normal...but on meth it is.

Belgand

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:48:09 -0800

The preferred term is "forcelove". Please.

Belgand

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:46:33 -0800

As long as you're not using a dairy-based dressing to toss that dude's salad I don't see why it wouldn't be.

Beth Spotswood

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:45:25 -0800

Did someone just suggest that the editoral staff of SFist censor the comments? Seriously? Over a prison rape joke? The reason I love the SFist comments so dearly is because no where else will you find a post about a politician going to jail result in a commenter discussion of whether or not rape is hilarious.

DJBurrito

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:44:43 -0800

Okay big brother.

megang

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:39:08 -0800

Amen! Prison rape is not kosher. Ever.

porkbun

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:35:32 -0800

Yeah, fuck the other "-ists!"

Xenu

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:35:11 -0800

I agree with Keith. Fuck you. If you want a site that's safe for your precious little eyes, go to Disney.com or some shit.

KeithFuckinMoon

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:26:27 -0800

Fuck you.

atthebeach

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:23:50 -0800

For some reason SFist seems to attract more foul-mouthed posters than any of the other "ists." Some editorial control is long overdue.

sfrealist

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:22:21 -0800

I am also in the "rape is not funny" camp.

periqueblend

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:19:58 -0800

I don't think they send corrupt polis to the same place they send murderers. He is probably minimum security all the way - which means conjugal visits, which means probably no one is getting shived, or whatever.

kmsinsf

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:18:16 -0800

Thanks for saying that Angrybat.

KeithFuckinMoon

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:15:20 -0800

Disagree. The whole premise of hetero guys ass-fucking each other because it is the only available hole is FUNNY.

lanersg

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:13:58 -0800

Thank you! Rape is never funny.

Angrybat

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:04:42 -0800

I hate to be a stick in the mud here, but can we possibly get through a story involving jail or prison without rape jokes? Let's leave that to SFGate commenters.

Akit

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:01:28 -0800

Hey Ed, remember, don't drop the soap!

underachieving

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:55:13 -0800

C'mon, Judge: this guy's own lawyer called him a brain-damaged tree sloth. 5.5 years in a Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass Prison for that? Oh no, Ed Jew!!!

therippa

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:51:21 -0800

His ass will be traded for cigarettes...Quickly

uggie

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:50:47 -0800

Please bring back SFist Rita's wry analysis and the story byline Oh No, Ed Jew!:

porkbun

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:40:20 -0800

He should be easier to find now.