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Builder of Oakland's Fox Theater Once Imprisoned For 'White Slavery'
So. Disgraced former San Francisco Supervisor Ed Jew is about to be sentenced for numerous illegal activities. Naturally, he wants a light sentence. What does his lawyer, Stuart Hanlon, do? He accuses Jew of being mentally retarded. (Well, that would explain being on the SF Board of Supervisors thing, but seriously folks...)
In a legal document filed Tuesday in federal court, Halon claimed that "Jew deserves leniency in his punishment ... because he suffers from a 'severe brain injury' sustained when he was struck by a motorcycle as a young boy." It seems he received the alleged permanent brain fart after "he was struck on the head by the handle bars of the motorcycle and catapulted in the air, falling on his head on the pavement."
But wait, there's more! It seems Jew fell victim to two other catastrophic head injuries: when he was struck by a truck while crossing a street and when he was "beaten up by several juvenile gang members," because he refused to join a gang in high school. This, according to his lawyer, is why he extorted Quickly stores and abused his power while serving on the Board of Supervisors.
Special, indeed.
Ed Jew's sentencing happens this Friday.
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What happened to the classic tagline: "Oh No, Ed Jew!"
oh man. the ed jew news is ALWAYS an entertaining interlude at work.
and as we know brain injuries cause extortion
If I were the judge reading that I would give him the harshest sentence possible...obviously not owning up to his actions.
I always thought growing up with a name like "Ed Jew" would be enough to cause a guy some issues.
Ed even made the Name of the Year Tournament as an 11th seed. Apparently couldn't get past Hung The Dang to reach the Sweet 16. Oh no, Ed Jew!!
Better link to Ed Jew's tournament results.
and when he was "beaten up by several juvenile gang members," because he refused to join a gang in high school.
Well, there's your problem right there. Obviously, he's had some sort of post-traumatic reaction/Stockholm Syndrome thing whereby he became a gangster- what with the extorting and such.
The news says the prosecutors will try to get 56 months.
Why is this the first time we've heard this side of Ed Jew?? Seriously ... you would think something like this would have come out months (or years) ago.
SFist is never going to hear the end of it for calling Jews retarded!
'09 version of the twinkie defense?
if this is his defense then he should also get additional time for elections fraud because he didn't disclose a relevant medical condition which significantly affects his ability to perform the duties of the elected position he was seeking.
i agree, this post is sorely missing the "Oh No, Ed Jew!" preface.
Wow ... just, wow.
This is hilarious. Basically, by arguing that Ed Jew is some kind of mental retard due to the repeated head smashing he was forced to endure at the hands of his tricycle and the cast of West Side Story, the defense insults the entire district he was elected to represent by showing the world that they're completely incapable of telling the difference between a knuckle dragging mouth breather and a regular type human. Another victory for democracy!
Mind your language!
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hWWwoSUjbRBhCVinB1YUK13BGDgwD979AD680
Super. The Tard Community should be reclaiming this word ala La Savage, not trying to play thought police by banning it from the language. They're tards, for christ's sake, not lesbians!
Leave Ed alone, he's just another Jew swindled by Bernie Madoff.
I'm still mad at Ed because he extorted Quickly. No one gets between me and my ginger milk tea with boba.