Christmas Morning Assault Leaves Mission Man in the Hospital

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At around 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, five teenagers beat and kicked a man at 25th and Mission streets. According to KCBS, the victim allegedly said something to aggravate the five teenage suspects, "who then followed the man to the intersection of Mission and 20th streets before throwing him to the ground and attacking him." (Group of teenage boys = scary. Which is why you should carry pepper spray, folks. A convergence of hormones, zits, and skidmarks is a Molotov cocktail waiting to blow.) The victim is being treated for life threatening injuries. No arrests, to no one's surprise, have been made.

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hmph. my brother was mugged by a group of people yesterday morning, too. i think these people were in their 20s though. it was really awful 'cause our family celebrates christmas on the evening of the 24th, so they took all of his christmas presents, camera, iPod. he got mugged on market street/7th. stupid people.

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Pepper spray? More like a baseball bat. Teach those little twats a lesson their kneecaps will never forget.

Xenu: against five teenagers? I'm reasonably confident in my odds for a 1-on-1 confrontation, but 5-against-1? Forget it, just run. That bat'll end up out of your hands and upside your head in a few seconds. Pepper spray at least can be spread across a bunch of folks quickly, giving you a head start. But your best bet is to just avoid the hell out of clusters of jumpy juveniles.

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