Christmas Morning Assault Leaves Mission Man in the Hospital

At around 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, five teenagers beat and kicked a man at 25th and Mission streets. According to KCBS, the victim allegedly said something to aggravate the five teenage suspects, "who then followed the man to the intersection of Mission and 20th streets before throwing him to the ground and attacking him." (Group of teenage boys = scary. Which is why you should carry pepper spray, folks. A convergence of hormones, zits, and skidmarks is a Molotov cocktail waiting to blow.) The victim is being treated for life threatening injuries. No arrests, to no one's surprise, have been made.