
by Tiffany Maleshefski
It’s Monday night. You somehow managed to get yourself through the workday after spending the entire weekend testing the true capacity of your liver. There's a new Gossip Girl airing that night, and Sunday evening, you had the good sense to stop in at Trader Joe’s and fill your freezer with teriyaki rice bowls and crab quiches.
Good luck getting your butt out on a Monday night.
Well, Fly Trap's executive chef Hoss Zarè has seen your game a million times before, and he’s just beaten you at it. How? Meatballs. Yes, meatballs. Giant, two-pound, holy-mother-of-god meatballs that taste as marvelous as they look.
On Mondays only, patrons can order what Zarè claims to be, the Bay Area's largest meatballs. We don’t dispute his claim. This culinary marvel brings together Niman Ranch beef, veal, Persian rice, apricots, prunes, and something like 10 different spices, all gloriously molded around (in our case) a rack of lamb. (Though on other days, the surprise in the center can be braised short ribs, duck confit, or a small poussin, aka Cornish game hen.)
Believe it or not, these imaginative and labor-intensive meatballs called Kufte Tabrizi is actually indigenous to Tabriz, the second-largest city in Iran, and where Zarè grew up.
And truth be told, when Monday swung around, these weekend warriors weren’t thrilled to haul ourselves over to the SoMa for din-dins, but that reticence quickly washed away with the arrival of our first course.
See, besides the balls, Zare’s unveiled an entirely new menu since he took over the reigns of the famous 102-year-old restaurant in August.
So some of his Mediterranean and Persian influence obviously makes its way into the menu, such as the Seven-spices mushrooms, a kabob of king trumpets and mixed wild mushrooms (hen of the woods, shitake, etc.) grilled alongside grapes, citrus and tomatoes. This dish’s simplicity is part of its brilliance, and we started talking about the absolute necessity of having a grill on our wedding registry, and we aren’t even engaged.
Echoing Fly Trap’s more traditional side, we also started out with the smoked trout, topped with roe, and served on a pile of cucumber “fettuccini,” that is, cucumber that’s been shredded finely and mixed together with dill and crème fraiche. This dish wasn’t bad, but it was only average when compared to the strong bursts of flavor that hit almost every corner of our palate in the mushroom appetizer.
Zare’s less-is-more attitude also comes through with the sea bass topped with a Caspian-style tapenade. Unlike many white fish dishes, where the topping is supposed to the take-away flavor, in this case the sea bass itself had enough flavoring naked to stand on its own.
The tapenade (toasted walnuts, chopped garlic, fresh cilantro, fresh oregano, jalapeno, cumin, pomegranate juice and paste, olives, Italian parsley, lime juice and angelica powder, though amazing, didn’t bury the flavor of the fish.
And of course, there was the almost indescribably killer meatball, where Zare ditches the uncomplicated in favor of total complexity. Just seeing it come out of the kitchen causes a mix of emotions to wash over you. It’s like when a kid sees Santa Claus for the first time: there’s a sense of awe, excitement, impossibility, a twinge of fear. In this case specifically, there’s also the knowledge that you’ve never tasted anything like this in your life.
Bathed in a light broth, the actual shell of the meatball is moist and so savory that on the first taste you can’t believe what’s just happened. Working toward the inside, the appearance of the apricots and prunes are like little treasures that bring just the right amount of sweet. And of course, the rack of lamb at the very center is tender and carries a taste that is all its own. It’s kind of like working your way through a Turduckin, but you are excited about what comes next, not horrified.
When the dish arrives, you are certain there isn’t any way that you could finish this hefty portion of meat, but soon enough, you’ve devoured the whole thing-and you don’t even feel bad about it.
Zare’s meatballs stand up to the hype. Everyone needs to rally for at least one Monday in their lives and give these a taste.
Fly Trap’s newest executive pastry chef is Marisa Churchill, the contestant from San Francisco who never failed to cook in heels and some kind of short frock on season two of Bravo’s Top Chef. She’s created an impressive list of choices for ending the meal on a sweet note. Goat cheese cheesecake, a very tempting coconut meringue pie, and fried milk torrijas.
We went with the Greek yogurt and honey, which is a cool, creamy panne cotta, topped with truffle honey and garnished with Kalamata biscotti, which had we stopped there, the true refreshing nature of this dessert would have lingered longer. However, we couldn’t resist the Chocolate Surprise, which heaven help us, is a chocolate torte the size and consistency of a dense, warm cookie, topped with caramel ice cream and black sea salted caramel sauce. The surprise is found in a shallow chocolate bowl that’s filled with sesame-peanut “cracker jacks.” We’re not going to tell you what it is.
Our Mondays just went from blue, to happy.



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