SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV

Photo shoot! It involved a windmill and wooden shoes, so not cliched at all. Marjorie looked ridiculous. But then, they all looked pretty ridiculous, with huge hair and black make-up. Marjorie decided to continue drinking after the shoot, leading to implications that she may have a drinking problem. If it helps with her incredible awkwardness, we say bring on the booze!

Panel! Paulina liked Marjorie's photo, saying it looked like a UFO had beamed her down. Tyra had to get pissy and disagree, saying it looked like she was a shrinking violet. And then they told her she seemed like she was trying too hard to control her nerves in front of the panel, and it was making her boring. That meant bottom two for Marjorie and Samantha. Once again, the panel criticized one of the models for her personality, and then complained when she took the criticism to heart and toned down her personality...To them, Marjorie was now too boring, so she had to return to flat, pack her backs, and go. Oh well. At least she got to make out with a Dutchman before leaving!

Next up is "Top Chef." The premiere episode of a reality show is always a bit difficult because there are just too many contestants, and it's hard to keep track of who's who, and in this show's case, there are literally too many cooks in the kitchen. (We can say that they are delightfully faux-hawk free for the most part.) Luckily, we can continue our myopic look at reality TV and only concern ourselves with local contestant Jamie Lauren, executive chef at Absinthe. In her introduction she proclaimed that she likes to keep her menu seasonal, and likes that no one tells her what to do.

The Quickfire Challenge was a doozy in that whoever finished last would be sent home immediately. Round one was peeling 15 apple with a pairing knife. Jamie Lauren made it in by the skin of her apple, and didn't have to perform in the two other rounds.

The chefs then drew knives labeled with New York neighborhoods and were told they'd have to pair up and cook something inspired by their chosen neighborhood, but compete against each other. At Chez Chef, Jamie and the two other gays in the house immediately formed a clique. A kind of annoying clique called "Team Rainbow."

Jamie's neighborhood was Astoria, which is apparently very Greek, so she went the olives-and-fish route. At judging she presented her dish as a "deconstructed Greek salad," consisting of eggplant puree, seared sea bass, and an arugula salad with cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and feta, dressed in a kalamata olive and Greek honey vinaigrette. Her competition overcooked his lamb burgers, so she got the win for her team, although not the win for the challenge. Nonetheless, she will be around next week.

Previously on "Survivor: Gabon," Sugar cried.

Tribe Fang--the new Fang members decided they would no longer pronounce "Fang" as "Fong" the jerks--was without fire, food, or much hope going into the Reward Challenge, which was slingshot golf and a reward of an overnight trip with food and tribal dancing. They had to sling their balls hundreds of yards, and the team with the lowest number won. That team was Fang, with no help from Randy. Jerk.

Fang went to their tribal ceremony, were beaten and bathed with leaves, got purty new sarongs, ate, and danced. Randy was under the delusion that one of the tribal dancers was hot for him. Sorry Randy, she was staring at you out of disbelief, not lust. Jerk.

Immunity Challenge. Probst announced that they would be playing for individual immunity, as they were now merged. So that tribe re-alignment was for a measly day? Lame. The challenge was to build a fire and burn through a string the fastest. Sugar was the second to get a fire going, after Susie. Alas, Susie's rope burned through first. No one else even got a spark going. Jerks.

Back at the new camp, they had food, coffee, and schemes. Sugar was the swing vote for both of the cliques, and while she was gunning for Randy, Corrine and Charlie were telling her to vote for Chrystal. Corinne interviewed that she totally had Sugar around her finger because Sugar is a total moron. Jerk. Meanwhile, Kenny told Sugar they should get rid of Charlie. She admitted she didn't trust him because he lied about Ace, although he didn't. Matty lied about Kenny lying about Ace. Ummm...Jerk?

Tribal Council. Randy went off on Chrystal, of course. When it came time to make a vote, Sugar cried before writing down a name. It came down to four votes for Chrystal and four votes for Charlie, with the fifth vote being for Charlie. Looks like that fifth vote came from Sugar. She's not sure a moron now is she, Corinne? JERK.