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Sure, it happened over a week ago. But the following story of lurid merriment on the 49 Mission-Van Ness will burn into your memory forever. A horrified Craigslist reader/writer posts:
To the tranny that blew that guy on the 49 bus last night..... - m4w Date: 2008-10-12, 7:48AM PDT....in case you were wondering, yes, we all saw. And were horrified!
You might remember the incident, huh? About 9:45pm last night, heading north. Why would I know the time, well I had to look at my cell phone to keep my eyes from looking over as you pulled his cock through his jeans and into your mouth.
How could we all not notice you? You were so ugly and those boobs were so little it was just obvious. Then the guy you were with looked like Billy Bob Thorton in "Slingblade". Except even weirder looking. Quite a pair.
So thanks for hopping on that very crowded bus, sitting 2 feet from me and making out with the goofy looking guy. That was odd, but no big deal. But when I looked over and your head was in his lap I was like -- "Are you fucking kidding me, you are now going to blow him?".
I thought it was hilarious that all those Mexican guys sitting right next to you said and did nada. I almost moved away but could not stop looking over. I kept thinking that this is going to make a good Craigslist "missed connection" and maybe a "best of".
The weird part is that the guy was staring at me with this serial killer look the whole time you were servicing him which was a little creepy. Like the whole fucking thing wasn't totally creepy.
So much like a human in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" I kept scanning around looking to see if anyone else was registering this. I kept locking eyes with the young punk rock girl across from me. Her boyfriend was being oblivious but she kept looking at me, rolling her eyes and giggling. As they reached that climactic moment she was uncontrollably laughing out loud and it really helped me keep my sanity. To pass the time I texted my sister in real time the blow by blows (no pun intended) and listened to my iPod.
Well, thankfully you two freaks got off somewhere near the Tenderloin after he came in your mouth.
When it was over I had to say something and just made eye contact with everyone and said "Did we all see what I think we just saw?" and everyone laughed out loud.
Learned something new last night. The 49 is a bit more rocking than the 47.
Altered image credit: octoferret/Flickr
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Geez, I just read this on CL. I guess the "shell game" on the 71 isn't so bad after all (the abundance of marks willing to part with an easy $20 always flabbergasts me).
Is "shell game" a euphemism for something, or does someone really run a shell game on the 71?
I always miss the good stuff...
on the whole I guess I have to say always more blowjobs, never less.
I'd rather have blowjobs than scam artists on my bus. Frankly I never understood why sex offends or makes people uncomfortable. I'm more with the laughing girl on this -- it's *funny*, and part of what makes me love living in SF.
My *only* doubt about this activity is that it might be in violation of the no food/drink policy on Muni vehicles. That rule is indeed there for a reason. That said, all things considered, I'd MUCH rather the people involved swallow instead of spit.
And frankly, I'd rather have the other person on the bus swallowing semen than trying to eat a big, sloppy sandwich with bits of ingredients spilling everywhere. I truly wish Muni had better enforcement against the messiest eaters.
What, no reach around?
I have to say I miss those buses. I used to live in the Excelsior, so the 49 and the 14 late-night hauls were my bread-n-butter -- always good for anecdotes to amuse friends and horrify family members.
Wait, there are reach arounds in blowjobs?
I know nothing about this world.
If i was on the bus i think i would have started a slow clap.
when a tranny is blowing you, it is always considered good form to give a reach around. just sayin'
and DJBurrito FTW.
It's always good form to hold eye contact with another guy while a tranny is blowing him in public. Especially if he's got that serial killer look in his eye.
Stories you can tell the grandkids, or your cracked out neighbor in your residents hotel, whichever is more likely.
@ DJBurrito; Generic
>and DJBurrito FTW.
[Stands up, bites lower lip, starts slow clap...]
Um, I'm just curious: was the bus on time?
-best- thread of comments, ever.
It's moments like this where I sit back and think, "Damn I'm glad I left LA" :D
@withak: No, seriously. Some dudes run a shell game in the rear of the 71 and sometimes the 6 -- outbound from Market to the Lower Haight. One guy is the Shell Master (usually in the form of bottle caps) and one guy assumes the role of Prey. The Master get the Prey to give him $10 then $20 to play. The Prey wins. Then they get a poor random schmuck to toss in a $20 and Schmuck loses. Some spectators get very involved and try to assist the Schmuck with guessing the shell, even adding money to the pot. They may win once, but in the end they always lose more $$ than they won.
No happy endings for them, unlike the happy victim of the tranny blowjob on the 49.
Twice, I have seen the same bus driver on the 49 pick up a prostitute in the Mission. He got a very thorough back rub while she squealed and giggled and called out the stops on the microphone. I am so glad I don't have to take the late night 49 anymore.
Ah, late night buses.
Twice, I have seen the same bus driver on the 49 pick up a prostitute in the Mission. He got a very thorough back rub while she squealed and giggled and called out the stops on the microphone. I am so glad I don't have to take the late night 49 anymore.
I guess I'm sort of "embarrassed," as it were, in my disinterest or downright nausea at the idea of having to watch some public bj action I didn't ask to see on a public bus, whether it be tranny or Castro transplant bear or old Chinese immigrant or Marina sorority sister doing the deed, but I can get behind this depiction of harmless Charo-style street prostitution. Coochie-coo, SF! Fuckers.
@shibi i've seen the shell game guys on the the haight street busses ride up haight with someone while they're taking him for however much money, get off where ever he gets off, walk across the street and catch a bus back down to market/haight/gough.
the dude are ruthless
Twice, I have seen the same bus driver on the 49 pick up a prostitute in the Mission. He got a very thorough back rub while she squealed and giggled and called out the stops on the microphone. I am so glad I don't have to take the late night 49 anymore.
I wouldn't think that prostitutes would be willing to service Muni drivers. I mean, they never come on time.
Is this going to be the new reason for crashes? Talking on cell phone while being blown by hooker?
Is it really that hard to have some actual oversight? What about those theoretical cameras? Maybe someone might check them out once in a while? Maybe you could actually report the guy so we could have a hope of getting some decent drivers for once.